Hot Girls Falling, Russian Dopes Attacking, FOZZY and the Canucks Rocking, Richie Kotzen Whining, Crystal Harris Marrying, Natalie Portman and Mia Kunis Kissing

Hey-O, boys and girls...as we bear down on the new year, let's consider all of the indescretions we have engaged in this year:

Yeah, sure. Monogamy is normal. For penguins, maybe.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the face you see in the mirror every morning, chubster)

Good-looking dancing girls falling off a bar = ALWAYS funny.

Come to think of it, an ugly girl falling would be pretty damn funny too.

Because asking for her number is just WAY too easy...

These guys figure they'll just shoot her with a water cannon. Insecure much, fellas? Sheesh.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Bar Rafaeli In a Bikini... Does NOT suck. (Drunken Stepfather)

Gracie Glam has perky nubs and a firm backside you could bounce nickels off ...BOINGOINGOINGOINGOING!!! (FreakShow Planet)

Bullz-Eye.com Girl Next Door: Mia Vincent (Bullz-Eye)

If you like the ladies with a little bit of meat on their bones, we give you...Jessica Mitchell (z0d)

Jenya and her hot blond friend are getting all kinds of friendly...and by 'Friendly'.. we mean 'naked fun sexy-time' (Dailyniner)

Five Incredibly Stupid Cons that Actually Worked (The Smoking Jacket)

164 of the Best Advice Animals (Fork Party)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you outgrew another wardrobe, piggy)

Want to see Chris Jericho and the rest of FOZZY did their thing in Ontario to a crowd of screaming Canucks. Wanna see? No? Too bad:

A professional wrestler? Singing? In a band? Nah, it'll never work.

Listen, bub! RICHIE KOTZEN is an important man, and he does NOT like feedback. You got that?!?!:

Especially when he's playing gigs in the bowels of the Czech Republic...now fix the Goddamn feedback!!! Please? Mister? He was in POISON... for like, five minutes and one album.

Now that you're done looking at THAT, take a look at THIS!

PLAYBOY Playmate Crystal Harris got engaged to Hugh Hefner over Christmas:

Not only did she receive a ring, but she got a colostomy bag changing schedule as well... ZING! *rimshot*

Anyone see the artsy-fartsy BLACK SWAN? No? We're going to give you a good reason to:

Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis lesbian sex... Hey-O!! Get us a ticket now, whydontcha?

Who IS Emily Addison?

Some... person. Meh, we don't know. What we DO know is that she looks REALLY good without her clothes... and that's all we really needed to know, honestly.

Carmen, who you have seen in countless other FOUNDRY CAMS videos and her own site Cam With Carmen, as well as Sweet Victoria, Lita, Lux, Eve, Jade, and Jaylee are giving the gift of scantily-clad awesomeness this holiday season.
Thanks to our buddy GARY HOEY for his version of "Carol Of The Bells" and thanks to Jon for the editing.



CLICK ON CARMEN's GIFT-WRAPPED TA-TA's and UNWRAP HER PRESENTS

After you're done drooling, why not see more of Carmen at CAM WITH CARMEN and check out her fully-unwrapped, fully-nude, fantastic rack...and everything else.

...and that, ladies and gents, is today's big ol' enchilada update....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.