Hot Girls Falling, Russian Dopes Attacking, FOZZY and the Canucks Rocking, Richie Kotzen Whining, Crystal Harris Marrying, Natalie Portman and Mia Kunis Kissing

Hey-O, boys and girls...as we bear down on the new year, let's consider all of the indescretions we have engaged in this year:

Yeah, sure. Monogamy is normal. For penguins, maybe.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the face you see in the mirror every morning, chubster)

Good-looking dancing girls falling off a bar = ALWAYS funny.

Come to think of it, an ugly girl falling would be pretty damn funny too.

Because asking for her number is just WAY too easy...

These guys figure they'll just shoot her with a water cannon. Insecure much, fellas? Sheesh.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Bar Rafaeli In a Bikini... Does NOT suck. (Drunken Stepfather)

Gracie Glam has perky nubs and a firm backside you could bounce nickels off ...BOINGOINGOINGOINGOING!!! (FreakShow Planet)

Bullz-Eye.com Girl Next Door: Mia Vincent (Bullz-Eye)

If you like the ladies with a little bit of meat on their bones, we give you...Jessica Mitchell (z0d)

Jenya and her hot blond friend are getting all kinds of friendly...and by 'Friendly'.. we mean 'naked fun sexy-time' (Dailyniner)

Five Incredibly Stupid Cons that Actually Worked (The Smoking Jacket)

164 of the Best Advice Animals (Fork Party)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you outgrew another wardrobe, piggy)

Want to see Chris Jericho and the rest of FOZZY did their thing in Ontario to a crowd of screaming Canucks. Wanna see? No? Too bad:

A professional wrestler? Singing? In a band? Nah, it'll never work.

Listen, bub! RICHIE KOTZEN is an important man, and he does NOT like feedback. You got that?!?!:

Especially when he's playing gigs in the bowels of the Czech Republic...now fix the Goddamn feedback!!! Please? Mister? He was in POISON... for like, five minutes and one album.

Now that you're done looking at THAT, take a look at THIS!

PLAYBOY Playmate Crystal Harris got engaged to Hugh Hefner over Christmas:

Not only did she receive a ring, but she got a colostomy bag changing schedule as well... ZING! *rimshot*

Anyone see the artsy-fartsy BLACK SWAN? No? We're going to give you a good reason to:

Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis lesbian sex... Hey-O!! Get us a ticket now, whydontcha?

Who IS Emily Addison?

Some... person. Meh, we don't know. What we DO know is that she looks REALLY good without her clothes... and that's all we really needed to know, honestly.

Carmen, who you have seen in countless other FOUNDRY CAMS videos and her own site Cam With Carmen, as well as Sweet Victoria, Lita, Lux, Eve, Jade, and Jaylee are giving the gift of scantily-clad awesomeness this holiday season.
Thanks to our buddy GARY HOEY for his version of "Carol Of The Bells" and thanks to Jon for the editing.



CLICK ON CARMEN's GIFT-WRAPPED TA-TA's and UNWRAP HER PRESENTS

After you're done drooling, why not see more of Carmen at CAM WITH CARMEN and check out her fully-unwrapped, fully-nude, fantastic rack...and everything else.

...and that, ladies and gents, is today's big ol' enchilada update....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Wednesday Links: Dancing for Smokes, [REc] 2 trailer, Jesse James in Sex Rehab, Mick Jagger's Sexy Daughter, FOZZY's first gig in 4 years, Busty babes

Happy Hump Day, kids!



Spend some quality time in a classy establishment fornicating with that fairly attractive teenage groupie you've been chatting it up with online. Don't mind the roaches.

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(Just like your very existence. You suck at life, and it's a miracle you haven't blown your own head off yet)

What's worse, the fact that this Malaysian man is dancing for cigarettes?




or his busted-ass dance moves? Learn some new steps, mister.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



The new trailer for [REC] 2, the sequel to the 2007 Spanish film [REC] (which was later re-made as QUARANTINE) is so scary....




You'll probably need to keep a change of underwear handy before watching it.





Jesse James is in Sex Rehab (WWTDD)



On the other hand, Jesse's tattooed mistress, Michelle Bombshell McGee is chatting it up online at SoCalGlamourGirls





Mick Jagger's Daughter Georgia May Jagger has NONE of her father's genetics (Drunken Stepfather)



11 Pointless Uses Of Modern Technology (UPROXX)



Bree Olson Bails on her Clothes and opts for her Birthday Suit (Freakshow Planet)



What’s my name, bitch? Twenty great movie titles (Bullz-Eye)



April Hannah Has our attention in April, May, June...hell...anytime, really. (Dailyniner)



All the Cool Kids cook Bacon With a Machine Gun (GammaSquad)



Off-Menu Secrets Exposed -- Can You Really Order This Stuff? (Asylum)



Five Artists that May Have Actually Been Con Artists (Fork Party)



Rihana and Elies Get Really Friendly (z0d)



10 things in sports scarier than the Large Hadron Collider (Guyism)



Panty Party! (atom)



What your nuts say about you (FunnyCrave)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that toxic personality is equalled only by your toxic halitosis. Here's a toothbrush, dummy)

Chris Jericho and our friends in FOZZY played their first gig in four years in Arizona:



the band's new disc, Chasing the Grail is out now.

From Metal to mammaries....

Bustiest of the busty Denise Milani loves her heavy weights:



Apparently she enjoys working out to OZZY OSBOURNE tunes... which we appreciate tremendously.

So, ya like the boobies, do ya?

Naturally heavy-chested Shay Laren is giving the worst car wash EVER in this clip:



and we could care less, because her bikini comes off.

Armed with a video camera and a winning smile, Talia Shepard takes her top off and makes one hell of a home video:



she should worry about something like this leaking online. Whoopsie. Too late.

Ravishing, Raven-haired, busty pinup girl Violet, who has done several FOUNDRY CAMS videos for us, has a brand new solo site, and to celebrate, she's shaking her fantastic figure to BRET MICHAELS' new song "Lie To Me":






Click on Violet Right Now, and stare slack-jawed at her awesomeness!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.