Birthday fun, Split Tongue Gal, DEAD ISLAND trailer, Latest TRANSFORMERS trailer, Jim Breuer and Sebastian Bach Screaming, SLASH and Brad Whitford Jamming, Lisa Ann Groping

Looking for a fun way to spend a special day, like ...uh, say... a birthday?

Get a birthday cake with a candle and blow it out by yourself in the bathroom. or surf some personal ads looking for some strange woman to make the sexy-sexy with...whichever you choose. It's your day, you know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your face. Stop breaking mirrors, assface)

Truthfully, we're having a hard time deciding how this is anything other than awesome...

She's got a split tongue = She's God's gift to girlfriends everywhere. C'mon. How is she NOT?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your contribution to society, waste of space)

The latest trailer for TRANSFORMERS: Dark Of The Moon has hit the web:

And this could be the most gloomy TRANSFORMERS flick ever. God, we hope so. That last one was kind of a stinker.

Speaking of amazing trailers, there are some folks in Hollywood who could take a lesson from this trailer for DEAD ISLAND:

The game might suck (we have NO idea; it's not even finished yet) but if the trailer is any indication... it's going to be pretty F-ing awesome.

Which Jersey Girl is as Classy as you might suspect? (Drunken Stepfather)



Madison Ivy is the kind of Poison that's just fine to get covered in (FreakShow Planet)

12 Great Shows that were set in and Around High School (Bullz-Eye)

Tammi and Melissa are awfully fine and awfully friendly... awfully (z0d)

Danni Kalifornia is Stunning in any state, not just... oh wait, that's her last name (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only friend you have is that bottle of Jack you cozy up to every night.)

SLASH and AEROSMITH's Brad Whitford spent some quality time in North Carolina the other day:

Doing an Aerosmith cover of a Rufus Thomas song... and now our heads are spinning because that was like a 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon' thing going on there.

Jim Breuer and SEBASTIAN BACH had a little competition to see who could blow his voice out quickest:

No, not really... but we're having a hard time seeing how that wasn't the end result.

...Hey now... where's the GIRLS? Oh. Here they are

Tory Lane is about as subtle as a train wreck as she seduces this nice officer:

Then again, when did you ever hear of anything subtle in a smut video? Exactly. NEVER.

If you had a body like Lisa Ann...

You'd be feeling yourself up nonstop too. Don't even act like you wouldn't, Chesterfield.

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is how we say "Beat it, monkeybrain"

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Heavy Metal MILF, Collapsing Wine, Superbowl Trailers, Lotsa OZZY, Fergie & SLASH, New FoundryCams Goodness

Lonely? Go get yourself a Heavy Metal MILF that looks like Tera Patrick

What's the point in recruiting a bunch of healthy young cheerleaders if you're not going to photograph them in their undies

We heard the other day that the kinkiest women on the planet live in West Virginia. Dare to dream, boys and girls.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your disrespectful mouth. Want the number of a good therapist, fella?)

This clip will make anyone with a wine sweet-tooth cry like a baby:

This will make old Chester read the instructions before building shelves again.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your inability to take a joke IS, so lighten up pal)

So, umm... who saw the 'Super Bowl', as it's referred to in the far east?

WOO! The Captain America trailer is online. F I N A L L Y.

Big Robots. Destroying one another.

TRANSFORMERS: Dark Of The Moon looks like a movie we'd actually pay to see. Bang. Crash. Boom.

Christina Aguilera messes up the National Anthem. Nah, no one will notice (Drunken Stepfather)


Mmm... Christina Aguilera Boobies

Mandy Dee has boobies that make you go 'Oh mama' (FreakShow Planet)

Featured Model: Sonny Frazier (Bullz-Eye)

Aimee Addison is all that and a Box o' Chicken (Dailyniner)

Julia Morse is code for 'looks really great naked'... meh, we tried (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't hang on to a relationship any longer than five minutes. Here's a gun with a toe trigger.)

and if you were watching the big sporting event, you may have seen THIS:

SLASH showed up and made the BLACK EYED PEAS almost watch-able.

You may have seen OZZY OSBOURNE and (who the F*$& is) JUSTIN BIEBER doing a commercial for BEST BUY:

We'll give them both a tussle for making fun of themselves in this one.

Speaking of OZZY OSBOURNE, we now have the full video of him chucking a bucket of water at one of his wife's co-hosts from The Talk:

Get off the stage, madam. The Prince of Darkess doesn't appreciate your girthy hips.

From aging rockers to young hotness...

Danni G (or Danni Gee, whichever you prefer) is decked out in one of our old-school FOUNDRYMUSIC T-shirts (torn and tailored to fit, of course), and showing off her multi-colored locks as well as her magnificent body in this brand FOUNDRY CAMS new clip featuring music from our pal MIKE 13, who took time away from LL COOL J to send us some tunes. Thanks to Jon for the editing.



Click it, fool... then haul ass to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Danni Gee LIVE...and Naked... (we mean HER... if you want to get all naked and sloppy, that's your decision)



...and that, as they say is the whole enchilada... now go ventilate your skull, you bug.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Kitchen MILF, TRANSFORMERS 3 Teaser, Ozzy don't know Bieber, JACKYL is still kicking around and being tactless, Nikki Sexx, Violet, Sabrina Maree, Jasmine Black, Roxy Taggart are topless

In our twisted universe all married women hang around the house looking like this waiting to get a vist from a gentleman caller.

Now, while she might not be only wearing a thong, she's not waiting around for the old man to get the job done... and that's where YOU come in

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the amount of space your girthy ass takes up when you sit down. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday.)

Joe Torres from WABC-TV in New York was reporting on a Catholic Church robbery, and a woman in the background just HAD to be on camera...

This folks, is either the worst luck in the world caught on camera or God's way of staying "Stay in the background, lady".

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The teaser trailer for Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg's latest entry into the TRANSFORMERS franchise has hit the web:

WHAT??? The robots have been on the moon since 1969 (if not earlier)??? You don't say... Wow. Wait, suspension of disbelief... breathe in... breathe out...keep it together

Some people find her attractive. Some find her simply..odd. (Drunken Stepfather)

On the positive side, She's been naked on film... A LOT... and we can appreciate the hell out of that.

COED’s Ass-ential 2010 Advent Calendar (COED Magazine)

Bullz-Eye.com 2010 Year End Music Review (Bullz-Eye)

Got pregnant? Got Fat? You Gotta Get this book! (Muscle Sorority)

John Lennon: Interesting Facts About his Life and Death (The Bachelor Guy)

Carli Banks lets people take pictures of her naked, gets paid, then laughs all the way to the...Bank. (FreakShow Planet)

With the Bikini AND sunglasses, Rebecca Rayann is wearing exactly 3 ounces of clothing (z0d)

Heather Joy and her lack of Lingerie will bring you much... Happiness...err, Joy. (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that your hefty carcass keeps breaking the lawn furniture every time you sit down.)

OZZY OSBOURNE hos no idea who JUSTIN BIEBER is...

...and we could not be happier.

Not only is JACKYL still making music, but this all-white-guy band claim they feel 'Just Like A Negro'. Wait, what?

Isn't that Darryl McDaniels from RUN DMC? eeeeeyup. It sure is... Nice save, fellas.

Now let's throttle back on the maturity level a bit and bring out... you guessed it! Boobies!

Not many people can pull off the bikini-and-platform-heels look outside of the strip club. NIKKI SEXX manages to pull it off perfectly

This is just a little taste, but you can see her full scene in CURVY GIRLS 5 (click to watch it on Demand). Now, dammit.

Ready for some broken-English girl-girl fornication? Who isn't?? Jasmine Black and Roxy Taggart are engaged in some wonderful Romainian/Slovakian kitchen fornication:

The movie is called BIG NATURAL TITS 23 ... and as you migh imagine, the women have... oh, we're seriously over-explaining this one.

The tempting Twistys Treat Sabrina Marie is 23 years-old, but would have you believe that she's really a schoolgirl. Oh, but she's not fooling us, nosiree:

She's using that schoolgirl outfit merely as an excuse to play with herself ... in which case, we're extremely tolerant of her trickery.

The tantalizing, tattooed alt-bombshell Violet, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS clips as well as her own solo site has classed up, and dressed down for this photo shoot:

She'll go way more than topless at her official site ... we're just giving you a li'l taste of her goodness.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tiger Woods Curses on TV (again), New Boobs on RateMyWOW, Paris Hilton Topless (again), CINDERELLA has a SPINAL TAP moment, ROB ZOMBIE live, Angel Dark, Jewels Jade, and Ashley Bulgari get Naked

Hello Monday... Is this what your weekend looked like?

If so, then BRAVO, kiddo... you're a master fornicator and deserve a medal for your adulterous adventures. Next week, go for six hookups at once!.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(just like your people skills. No wait, those are fucking abysmal)

Oh Fuckity-Fuck-Fuck-Fuck-Fuck... Tiger Woods cursed on Live TV (again), and it's international news (again):

We're so unimpressed, that we're going to buy Tiger Woods Golf, play at Home and curse all night.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

New Boobs On RateMyWOW: Thanks again to our pals Yoshi and Brandon Iron, who is constantly shooting content for LOAD MY MOUTH and PERVERTED PLANET (so very not-safe-for-work), we were able to add new bosoms to RateMyWOW today courtesy of FERRERA and ANGELICA BLACK:


RateMyWOW: FERRERA
RateMyWOW: ANGELICA BLACK

Paris Hilton is Topless, In Trouble For Weed Again (WWTDD)

'scuse us, Miss Hilton when are you gonna make another one o' them sex flicks like this one you did?


Katy Perry's Big Boobs in a Bikini (Drunken Stepfather)

UFC Ring Girl Chandra Powell (The Cage Doctors)

PLAYBOY's Christine Veronica has Two Boobs, Two Butt cheeks, Two Long legs...the list goes on (Freakshow Planet)

Featured Model: Shannon Czyz (Bullz-Eye)

'Lens Cap On' Shows You Gorgeous Views as Blocked by a Lens Cap (URLesque)

Angie Savage Has Two Big Wings Tattooed on her Back. Don't fly away, miss! (Dailyniner)

Angry Child Slaps Some Sense Into His Own Mother (The Campus Socialite)

Top 10 Madden Covers (The Pigskin Doctors)

Claire has a Magical Cooter tucked under that thong. Seriously, it shoots glitter. (z0d)

Rise and Shine! -- A Video Guide to the Fine Art of the Wake-Up Prank (Asylum)

“Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties”: Gaming’s First (and Only) Surrealist Softcore Adventure (UPROXX)

Shyamalan Name is the Turd In Audience's Punch Bowl (FilmDrunk)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you define your existence by the individuals you latch onto. Don't cry. Not everyone has self-confidence)

Our friends in CINDERELLA had a bit of a SPINAL TAP moment on stage the other night in New Hampshire:

Nothing like ear-piercing feedback to wreck a live show, eh? Check out CINDERELLA on tour now - before Tom Keifer blows his voice box out again.

and on the opposite end of the spectrum, ROB ZOMBIE is on tour with Mayhem Fest (Click for Tickets, kids), and as usual, likes burning shit on stage:

What IS a Superbeast, anyway? You'll just have to ask Mr Zombie when you see him live.

From smokey stages to smoking hot bodies... Ecch, that was hack...

Sexy Czech Twistys Babe Ashley Bulgari can't stop touching herself, even in the kitchen:

Not that we blame her. If we were attached to that body, we'd be feeling ourselves up all the time. But we're not, so pass the ice cream.

Slovakian stunner Angel Dark is giving language lessons... naked:

It's a new method of osmosis. It's the ass-to-face method of information absorbtion.

Ooh, Push-ups! Why would you ask a piece-of-ass like Jewels Jade to do topless Pushups?

Maybe because you're a dopey cameraman who wants to spend as much time as possible gawking at her before she gets banged nine different ways by a guy twice you size. Yeah, it's an insecure geek thing.

aaaaand what would an update from us be without a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS shaking her ass to rock music, which happens to be from DROWNING POOL this time:


Stare into Shanelle's eyes... only for a moment, then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Shanelle LIVE...and nekkid (her, not you...genius)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Guido Wipes out, BATMAN XXX Parody, Jenna Jameson in an Ambluance, Mystery Ass Crack, New SOULFLY video, Angel Dark and her Loose Lingerie, New FoundryCams video

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(just like the smell you leave behind when you walk out of a room)

This motorcycle Guido gets his leg smashed by another motorcycle Guido during Guido street race


You see that blur? Yeah, that's the Guido. Well, ONE of them.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

It was only a matter of time before the sanctity (sarcasm) of BATMAN was whacked upside the head with a XXX-Porn-Parody:


Vivid Entertainment will release 'BATMAN' on May 25th - order now!.

Jenna Jameson is being wheeled into an ambulance (WWTDD)

...and here we see Jenna Jameson being twisted into a pretzel in some of her more memorable roles


Which Hollywood hottie is showing off her trucker-butt here? (Drunken Stepfather)

Here's a clue: she's been in a whole bunch of flops... Hmm... maybe that doesn't help much.

Naomi Campbell Insists Her Men Don't Have to Be Rich...Really! (PopEater)

April O'Neil will get naked in April, May, June... or any month (Freakshow Planet)

Top 5 Light Beers (Bullz-Eye)

Ariel Gives us one less reason to not like redheads (Dailyniner)

Iron Chef's Tips on Handling a Blow Torch (Asylum)

Iron Man 2 Alternate Takes (College Humor)

Watch A True Phillie Phanatic Face Some Rough Justice (The Campus Socialite)

Nice Perky Nubs and a Smoking Hot Bod - it's Dakota Rivers (z0d)

How Tough Are Hockey Players? (Dave & Thomas)

Wanna have lunch with Emanuelle Chiquiri, party with Playmates, and hoop it up with Shaq? Here's how (The Bachelor Guy)
PIRANHA 3D's Viral Marketing Parody Is Vulgar and Boob-Filled (FilmDrunk)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that there's no Nobel Prize for holding grudges...because you'd get it for sure!)

Have you seen the soothing new SOULFLY's new video for "Rise Of the Fallen"?:

Wait, sorry... 'soothing' doesn't apply. OMEN will be out on May 25th.

From Heavy Metal to Hot Ass...

Sexy Slovak Angel Dark can't keep her shirt on ... or her bra for that matter:

She must be a very impatient gal. *rimshot*

and since we like shameless self-promotion as much as the next fella

Here's Samantha in one of our official FoundryMusic T-Shirts shaking her ass to "Satisfied" by SOCIAL CODE:

CLICK THE PIC TO SEE SAMANTHA's SEXY STRIP!
(well it almost rhymes)

Then, when you have some motor function back... chat with Samantha LIVE, one-on-one, on her cam!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.