Danny Trejo and 'MACHETE', Edward Norton and 'The Avengers', WARRANT and Some New Guy, KID ROCK and 80 thousand NJ Boneheads, Gianna Michaels, Angelina Valentine, and their oily torsos

Happy. Umm. Monday? Wipe thr crusties from your eyes, and politely tell the two married women on either side of the bed to gather up their things

Someone is bound to be looking for them, and the weekend of debauchery you just had is all done. Well, until next weekend.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not half as terrible as your halitosis. Have a mint, dragon-breath)

Will MACHETE propel Danny Trejo into super-stardom?

Honestly? Probably not. Will we go see it? Absolutely. Hail Danny Trejo!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Edward Norton Got Fired from 'The Avengers' (WWTDD)


Kim Kardashian's Butt isn't getting any Smaller (Drunken Stepfather)

As usual, we'll use the above photo as an excuse to promote Kim Kardashian's sex tape... You know, the one she did with Ray J...

A Guide to Disney’s Horrible Female Role Models (feat. Photo Evidence) (UPROXX)

Rene Perez is one Seriously Spicy Li'l Meatball (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Taylor O'Connor (Bullz-Eye)

The Incredible Bendy Bike (URLesque)

Sex Tips From Olivia Munn (Asylum)

Mary Queen. Rhymes with Dairy Queen. Her Bikini is awful. Thank God she's taking it off (Dailyniner)

Career Suicide: Ten Awful Celebrity Rants (Part I) (Campus Socialite)

Joanne has a GIANT new sex toy (z0d)

Sexy Women of the LPGA (FunnyCrave)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your hopes and dreams have been crushed like so many empty beer cans)

Remember the hair band WARRANT? All of the original members are back, minus Jani Lane. Robet Mason is singing with them now:

Gee, who do you think the problem in that band was? C'mon... this isn't a difficult one, kids.

His name is KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!

He opened up the Giants Stadium BON JOVI the other day, and attempted to explain what "Bawitaba" means to 80,000 New Jersey Meatheads. It didn't work.

From Really big bands... to really big... you guessed it! Boobs!

You've heard of Gianna Michaels (and if you haven't, then shame on you):

This is Gianna Michaels oiling up her chest in a scene from 'Big Wet Tits 4'... *Applause*

Sticking with the 'Big Wet' theme, this is our favorite new plaything, Angelina Valentine:

Who must have VERY dry skin, because in this clip from BIG WET TITS 7 ...she's lubing up her chest with more oil than it takes to lube your old man's Ford.

From establised boobs to newer boobs... or 'noobs', petite, young Ariel Rebel is dancing in her underwear... much like you do when no one is looking:

only when SHE does it full-blown bisexuality tends to break out... and when you do it... the neighbors tend to freak out.

aaaaand what would an update from us be without a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS shaking her ass to rock music, which happens to be from DROWNING POOL this time:


Stare into Shanelle's eyes... only for a moment, then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Shanelle LIVE...and nekkid (her, not you...genius)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.