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THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Almost as terrible as your breath, clothes and hairline. It's a trifecta of 'Awful' Poolboy!)
The engineers at Lockheed Martin have discovered the most expensive and inefficient way to make Chicken Salad:
Firing raw chickens into the Canopy of an F-35. Mmmm...chicken.
THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:
This 30-second teaser trailer for THE AVENGERS is going to make some geeks cream their pants, and some could give two shits:
It's not coming out until May 2012, so get some videos and catch up on your Avengers history... and hope the movie isn't mind-numbingly stupid.
Amy Winehouse is Sexy AND Fancy (WWTDD)
Whose occasionally-sexy rump is in Vogue UK? (Drunken Stepfather)
Hmm, do we give this one away? or do we drop hints like 'Twiggy' 'Cocaine habit' and 'A Rolling stone gathers no'... Hmm, that last one probably gave too much away.
Getting laid is just as easy as showering (The Campus Socialite)
Follow this guide to become the next Stephenie Meyer (UPROXX)
Alexis Ford has the Cadillac of Hineys (Freakshow Planet)
Bullz-Eye's 2010 Summer TCA Press Tour Blog (Bullz-Eye)
30 Animals Drinking Alcohol (Banned In Hollywood)
Shay Laren is going to throw out her back playing Tennis without a shirt like that (Dailyniner)
Martin Loofah King (Dave and Thomas)
Danielle and Maye are playing 'bad student / badder teacher' (z0d)
I'M SORRY:
(So sorry you have yet to develop a skill set beyond that of a shit-shoveler)
WOW. Time is indeed a BITCH. Blackie Lawless from W.A.S.P. is looking more and more like a bullfrog with every passing year:
Despite his amphibian appearance, Blackie still holds it together live... or he's lip-syncing. Ah-Booo.
As long as we're honoring old farts, THE CULT has a new single on iTunes... and they broke it out LIVE in Holland:
Apparently Ian Astbury is tired of dressing up like Jim Morrison and playing with reeeeeeeally old farts.
aaaand from rock, we move to RACKS!
How is it that a busty Czech babe like Veronique/Dominno can get groped on a bus and NO ONE gets arrested or killed?
as if that's not enough, She winds up blowing the guy in the bathroom...and yes, we believe everything we read on the internet.
Zuzana Z. likes to sunbathe naked:
That is all. Zuzana. Sunbathing. Naked. Masturbating. Clickity-Click-Click-Boom.
Holy. Moley. Our Italian a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS girl Dannie Gee or Danni G did a great job tearing up and re-working our old-school FoundryMusic T-shirt, and shaking her ass to "Kick in The Teeth" by PAPA ROACH from their upcoming album Time For Annihilation..On the Road, and On The Record:
Pick yourself up off the floor, wipe the drool off your chest...and then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Danni Gee/Danni G LIVE...and NUUUUDE (uh, yeah...we mean HER. Not you)
Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?
We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did
FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing
Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates
be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep
We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.
We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.
We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.
FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.
Happy. Umm. Monday? Wipe thr crusties from your eyes, and politely tell the two married women on either side of the bed to gather up their things
Someone is bound to be looking for them, and the weekend of debauchery you just had is all done. Well, until next weekend.
THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not half as terrible as your halitosis. Have a mint, dragon-breath)
Will MACHETE propel Danny Trejo into super-stardom?
Honestly? Probably not. Will we go see it? Absolutely. Hail Danny Trejo!
THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:
Edward Norton Got Fired from 'The Avengers' (WWTDD)
Kim Kardashian's Butt isn't getting any Smaller (Drunken Stepfather)
As usual, we'll use the above photo as an excuse to promote Kim Kardashian's sex tape... You know, the one she did with Ray J...
A Guide to Disney’s Horrible Female Role Models (feat. Photo Evidence) (UPROXX)
Rene Perez is one Seriously Spicy Li'l Meatball (Freakshow Planet)
Girl Next Door: Taylor O'Connor (Bullz-Eye)
The Incredible Bendy Bike (URLesque)
Sex Tips From Olivia Munn (Asylum)
Mary Queen. Rhymes with Dairy Queen. Her Bikini is awful. Thank God she's taking it off (Dailyniner)
Career Suicide: Ten Awful Celebrity Rants (Part I) (Campus Socialite)
Joanne has a GIANT new sex toy (z0d)
Sexy Women of the LPGA (FunnyCrave)
I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your hopes and dreams have been crushed like so many empty beer cans)
Remember the hair band WARRANT? All of the original members are back, minus Jani Lane. Robet Mason is singing with them now:
Gee, who do you think the problem in that band was? C'mon... this isn't a difficult one, kids.
His name is KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!
He opened up the Giants Stadium BON JOVI the other day, and attempted to explain what "Bawitaba" means to 80,000 New Jersey Meatheads. It didn't work.
From Really big bands... to really big... you guessed it! Boobs!
You've heard of Gianna Michaels (and if you haven't, then shame on you):
This is Gianna Michaels oiling up her chest in a scene from 'Big Wet Tits 4'... *Applause*
Sticking with the 'Big Wet' theme, this is our favorite new plaything, Angelina Valentine:
Who must have VERY dry skin, because in this clip from BIG WET TITS 7 ...she's lubing up her chest with more oil than it takes to lube your old man's Ford.
From establised boobs to newer boobs... or 'noobs', petite, young Ariel Rebel is dancing in her underwear... much like you do when no one is looking:
only when SHE does it full-blown bisexuality tends to break out... and when you do it... the neighbors tend to freak out.
aaaaand what would an update from us be without a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS shaking her ass to rock music, which happens to be from DROWNING POOL this time:
Stare into Shanelle's eyes... only for a moment, then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Shanelle LIVE...and nekkid (her, not you...genius)
Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?
We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did
FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing
Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates
be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep
We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.
We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.
We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.
FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.
