HUGE update for people looking to waste a PILE of time: Trick Or Treat Trailer, OZZY on Sobriety, Carmen's Cans, Zakk Wylde on American Idol, Lemmy on stage with SLASH

and now for a close-up of the late Lon Chaney's testicles...you know you want to see it.


Yo mang! Whassup! This be some coo' shizz, yo
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right? and YES, we DO follow you. To the post office, to the grocery store, etc...
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the children we keep in cages...KIDDING!
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Your mom is SO fed up with your old man's antics that she's pushing his Mustang into a pond:

How do we know this? we found it in her personal ad... Hell hath no fury, dude.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Same as the way you say mean things under your breath, thinking no one will notice. Of course everyone DOES)

Here are some prophetic words of wisdom from a once non-sober OZZY OSBOURNE:

Yes, it does indeed S U C K. Unless you think getting out of bed to make poo is gross.

Amazing documentary. Highly reccommended. Yes, by US. Sheesh.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your feet, which smell like you walked through elephant shit)

and now, the movie that proved that playing your records backwards was ALWAYS a bad idea - TRICK OR TREAT

You know Skippy from FAMILY TIES was in this, right? Oh yeah, Gene Simmons and OZZY OSBOURNE too.

Yes, playing your records backwards raises dead rock stars from the dead. God, do we have to explain it all?.

Jennifer Lawrence ... is umm... not related to Martin Lawrence or Joey Lawrence:

In fact, we have no F-ing idea who she is. So there.

Nevaeh. Raina Lee. Touching Tongues. That is all. Resume clicking (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Volvo S60 T6 AWD Car Review (Bullz-Eye)

5 More Rom-Com Sequels We'd Like to See (After When Harry Met Sally 2) (How About We)

I'm Ashamed to be a Boston Sports Fan (MadeMan)

lisa Niels is wearing pants that don't fit. Thankfully she doesn't keep them on for long (z0d)

Sandee Westgate has brown hair and a big-ass tattoo on her ribs. When did this shit happen? (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your taste in women is like your taste in clothing; cheesy, beat up, and worn out)

Anyone see a little show called American Idol last night?

You should check it out. See, it's like a talent show / karaoke contest. There's celebrity judges... oh yeah, and ZAKK F*CKING WYLDE.

Zakk has a little band thing he does on the side...sha-boom.

The fact that Johnny Solinger from SKID ROW can cook is fairly... uhhh, meh.

The fact that he can chug a bottle of tequila near a hot stove and open flame? NOw THAT folks, is entertainment!

See, Johnny is the guy who came into the band after they re-formed...he's not Sebastian Bach, but that has more to do with D.N.A., you know?

Yes, that's Lemmy from MOTORHEAD and his prune-sized liver on stage with SLASH in Argentina.

Does the ol' Lem even HAVE a liver anymore? Sucker drinks an awful lot of Jack Daniels, yaknowwhatImean, mang?

If you haven't seen the Lemmy movie yet, then ... well, you're just a doo-doo brain. Yup. I said it. Doo-Doo brain.

We just thought this was some cool video, so we put it up.

Well, that and we thought a testicle-angle video of Corey Taylor from STONE SOUR was good enough to post.

Someone asked me if I had the new STONE SOUR disc the other day. I yelled "Yes!"...and then slapped him with a fresh haddock.

OK, time to bring out the beeeeeyotches, yo

What is it with girls like Danni Kaliforniaand these enormous bottles of baby oil?

Is their skin that scaly? It certainly must be, because they use an awful lot of it.

our girl Carmen who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos... made um...this:

You can catch Carmen each and every night LIVE at FOUNDRY CAMS! ...aaaaaand roll credits.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS, we felt it needed a facelift, so we made a whole nifty new page at over here now...

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make salsa in woodchipper.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

QUEENSRYCHE singer wears eyeliner, Heidi Montag Sex Tape Drama, MOTLEY CRUE at Ozzfest, MARTY FRIEDMAN's new Video, Topless fun with Gia Malone, September Carrino, and Sara Stone

Hip, hip, Hoo... blech. It's Monday. the pants have to be on, and your spicy latina co-worker has to go home... because her kids are bound to be wondering where she is.

yeah, right... Like you never fooled around with someone at work. Unless you work at a slaughterhouse, in which case the blood is a bit of a turn off.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(But not even remotely as bad as your receding hairline and breath. Here's a mint and some Rogaine)

We're fans of QUEENSRYCHE, but the amount of eyeliner singer Geoff Tate is wearing has been a little suspect:

granted, they are doing the whole Queensyche Cabaret thing, but ease up on the eye makeup, wouldya? No? OK. Fine. We have no pull.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Heidi Montag, Karissa Shanon made a lesbian sex tape (WWTDD)

Well OF COURSE they did. Why Wouldn't they have... Vivid Entertainment says the real money lies with a Spencer/Heidi sex tape. Who knew Vivid liked the dick so much? (pun intended)


ooh! an ass in a purple bikini! Who could it be? (Drunken Stepfather)

We're betting on 'Who Gives a Shit?' but you, however might just want to know what this Not-So-Ugly Betty is all about. See? That was just the right amount of hint, wasn't it?

A History of (Sports) Violence (The Campus Socialite)

Sophie Moone Can Moon us any day of the week (Freakshow Planet)

Interview With Spike Lee (Bullz-Eye)

Jazmine Lyn Likes Looking at Her Boobs. Funny, so do we (z0d)

Janelle Priego is ridding herself of her pesky lingerie (Dailyniner)

How to Make a Game Out of a Movie (That Doesn't Suck) (UPROXX)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that most of your friends' names are plastered on the front of whiskey bottles)

Our pals in MOTLEY CRUE are on the road with OZZFEST, and this is what Vince Neil looked like in Hartford the other night:

Thanks to Mike for the great footage.

After several years in MEGADETH, and then bailing to live in Tokyo, this is what MARTY FRIEDMAN is up to:

So THAT's what living in Japan for ten years will do to your guitar playing.

From Great Guitarists to Great Big Boobies...

Busty blond MILF Gia Malone can't wait to show off her boobies:

She pulls them out in the passenger seat before getting slammed in the living room. You know, she's an active older gal.

Now, for the high-brow audience...naturally large-breasted September Carrino is bouncing on her bed:

Her boobs are obnoxiously huge, so watching them bounce freely like that just makes us giggle.

We're going to nominate Sara Stone for Secretary of the Year:

She gives her agitated boss a nice back rub... and a whole helluva lot more...because she's a good egg.

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to "Tattoos & Tequila" by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil's Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.


Click on Emi's very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you'd like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don't want any of that drunk-typing happening)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Weekends are Pants Optional, Finnish Metal version of DURAN DURAN, Indiana Jones 5?, DISTURBED and Gorilla Noises, TAKING DAWN covers FLEETWOOD MAC, Heather Vandeven is smart AND naked, Kagney Linn Karter can Sing AND Strip, Alisha King likes Ice Cream

Yay! Weekend Time! Pants...Are...Optional! make solid use of of that pants-free time and hook up with a promiscuous co-worker... because God would want you to.

What? You've never seen a room full of women in their underwear? YOU have been hanging out in the wrong places, friend. Adultery. For Adults. It's in the Bible. Somewhere.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not nearly as bad as your self-esteem. How DO you make it through the day without slitting your wrists?)

Finnish heavy metal band. Siniging "A View To A Kill" by DURAN DURAN. Need we say more?

No. We don't. They're the NORTHERN KINGS. They're an acquired taste.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Indiana Jones 5 is Coming... For. Some. Reason. (WWTDD)

Oooh! we know why! apprarnetly 'Crystal Skull' wasn't embarrassing enough. 3 out of 4 ain't bad, is it? Let Indy Go Gracefully, please?


Finally! An appropriate Photo of Snooki's Large Dumper! (Drunken Stepfather)

Nothing Like A Prank War to Start The Year Off (The Campus Socialite)

Aiden Ashley bends over the luckiest leather couch EVER (Freakshow Planet)

Interview With Spike Lee (Bullz-Eye)

Dannni Yeager Rubs against a Yellow Corvette. Lucky Car. (z0d)
10 Signs You're a 20-Something, According to The New York Times (Lemondrop)

Wing Falls Off Plane at Argentina Airshow (The Smoking Jacket)

Drinking and Driving Mixing Even Less Well Than Ususal (UPROXX)

I'm On a Shark!!! (GammaSquad)

Midwife sews woman’s anus shut during labor (The Frisky)

Roger Clemens to Enter Prison in a Red Sox Cap (Sports Pickle)

I'M SORRY:
(So sorry the only women that you can pick up are hungover stragglers from last night's pool party)

Our friends in DISTURBED kicked off their tour in Minnesota, and proved there's always room for gorilla noises in heavy metal:

and if you're into gorilla noises... go see DISTURBED live...because their songs have lots of it. Gorilla noises, that is.

After appearing on countless album covers... Vic Rattlehead finally made an appearance at a MEGADETH concert...

granted, he seemed a bit shy, but if you had a skeletal face that was clamped together and shackled, you'd be a little insecure too.

our buddies in TAKING DAWN released a video for their cover of the FLEETWOOD MAC classic "The Chain". See?

Not to brag or nothing, but we knew this song was gonna be huge MONTHS ago, so we used it in a FOUNDRY CAMS video...don't tell US we don't know what we're doing.

See what we mean? Clickity-click-click, mister!
and take THAT, Chester!

From hard rock to hard bodies (where ELSE did you think this was going?)...

PENTHOUSE Pet Heather Vandeven has a degree in education:

Which comes in very handy when masturbating on video. Just sayin'...

Busty, surgically-enhanced Kagney Linn Karter can sing while she's getting naked:

You know, just in case a judge from American Idol is watching shhut up and get naked, lady! What? Too Much?

Perky young Alisha King is rubbing ice cream all over her boobs:

Not like we fault her or nothing... if we had boobs like hers, we'd be doing the SAME thing. Yaaaay Ice Cream! Er, Yaaaay Boobies!

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to "Tattoos & Tequila" by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil's Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.


Click on Emi's very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you'd like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don't want any of that drunk-typing happening)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Skydiving with a Rubik's Cube, Kelly Brook at Piranha Premiere, Mystery Hiney, Joe Perry Knocks Down Steven Tyler, Dokken is Getting Old, Ashlynn Brooke, Karina Hart, and Lataya Roxx are all topless and frisky

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not nearly as bad as your self-esteem. How DO you make it through the day without slitting your wrists?)

If you're not jumping out of a plane on an inflatable raft, doing a Rubik's cube, then you're just a pussy:

Skydivers in the Czech Republic apparently have balls the size of basketballs.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Kelly Brook at the Piranha 3D Premiere (WWTDD)

and WHY should you care? Because you get to see Kelly Brook's Tits and Arse in Piranha 3D. Duh.


Gee, whose surgically-augmented ass in a bikini is this? (Drunken Stepfather)

Come ON, guess, would ya? it's not like we're going to tell you she's a former Playboy Playmate who released a sex tape through Vivid. Aw shit. We did it again.

Millionaire Couple Builds Robotic Child (Noob Dad)

Monique Alexander makes slutty look not-so-slutty in this Black & White Photo Shoot (Freakshow Planet)

2010 Summer TCA Press Tour Recap (Bullz-Eye)

Evelyn Rain Wants to show you what's Under Her shorts (z0d)
Adventures In Rihanna’s On-Stage Self-Love (The Frisky)

Seven Technologies That Are Going to Kill Us All (UPROXX)

Welcome to Nassau: They have Dope Bagels and Rich Kids (New York Pudding)

15 Ways to Fight the Freshman 15 (The Campus Socialite)

The 15 Most Famous Secrets and Glitches in Videogame History (Dorkly)

Jessica Jaymes is looking all old-school pinup in this nifty photo set (Dailyniner)

I'M SORRY:
(So sorry the only women that you can pick up are hungover stragglers from last night's pool party)

In Toronto, where AEROSMITH was on tour at the Air Canada Centre, Joe Perry knocked Steven Tyler clean off the stage:

You know, in case you haven't seen them... you should go see AEROSMITH live before Perry and Tyler strangle one another.

You're not Rockin... unless you're blowing your voice out with Don Dokken! whose voice is sounding worse every day...

DOKKEN's latest album is a collection of re-recorded classics... and it's on sale now!

From classic rock, we segue into classic RACKS...

This video of the lovely Ashlynn Brooke is not exactly what we'd call 'subtle':

Any clip that starts with a camer aimed up her skirt and her butt getting oiled up is bound to end well.

This busty Slovak chick is LaTaya Roxx, and she's deluded herself into thinking she's Batman:

Since when does Batman bounce on a trampoline with his tits hanging out? once, maybe? Exactly.

Keeping with the eastern European big-boobed babes here's Karina Hart and her obnoxiously-huge boobs:

They're packed into a teeny-tiny bikini... but honestly they don't stay in there for very long. they flop out very quickly and she shows off their 34H goodness.

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to "Tattoos & Tequila" by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil's Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.


Click on Emi's very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you'd like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don't want any of that drunk-typing happening)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Korean Collision Caught On Camera, Ice Cream Men Brawl, Tila Tequila Topless, New DISTURBED video, AEROSMITH at Fenway Park, OZZY at OZZFEST, Kelley Scarlett and Krystal Summers show their buxom bodies

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not nearly as bad as your self-esteem. How DO you make it through the day without slitting your wrists?)

A compact car in Korea slides across the slick road and collides with an oncoming minivan:

Anyone want to guess how this turned out?

And you thought drug dealers were the only people to fight over street corners:

Mister Softy and Softy Cream Man Get into it on the streets of New York City. Now NO ONE gets ice cream! Waaaah!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Tila Tequila Was Topless When She Got Attacked (WWTDD)

Speaking of wanna-be famous people, let's plug the Montana Fishburne video... for the last time... seriously!

Montana Exposed - The Montana Fishburne Sex Tape (Vivid)


Oh Shit! ALIEN! Wait, no. It's Shauna Sand in a Bikini (Drunken Stepfather)

Can You believe Someone banged her on video and admitted it? Weird, right?

Whoa. Jasmin St Claire is still around? Who knew? Is that a Wig? (Freakshow Planet)

Featured Model: Stephanie Farris (Bullz-Eye)

Sex Toy Or Dog Toy? (The Smoking Jacket)

How much is that cup of joe actually costing you (The Campus Socialite)

10 T Anchors Gone Wild (The Frisky)

The Most Bootylicious Athletes of All-Time (The Bleacher Report)

Lingerie Football League Star Goes “Full Nerd” (Gunaxin)

Liz Ashley Takes Off Her Tank Top To Expose the Tightest Body We've seen all Day (Dailyniner)

5 Things To Consider Before Beginning Your Super-Villain Career (UPROXX)

Dani Jensen Has Nice Nubs and a Nifty Little Body (z0d)

Four New Fall Shows That Will Make You Want to Kill Your TV (Asylum)

Beat The House: Prevent Your Own Wikileaks Scandal (AskMen)

I'M SORRY:
(So sorry the only women that you can pick up are hungover stragglers from last night's pool party)

What is David Draiman from DISTURBED yelling about?

Oh wait, they have a new video. No need to panic. DISTURBED is on tour now (get those tickets now, Grandma!).

Steven Tyler from AEROSMITH (who are on tour now) played "Dream On" frokm the tippy-top of Fenway Park:

...and he didn't even break his hip! Aerosmith is on tour now, so go see them LIVE before Tyler and Perry kill one another.

This, folks, is OZZY OSBOURNE playing at the start of Ozzfest and he doesn't want to change the world:

He DOES, however, want to change his band members more often than he changes his socks.

From hard rock, we move gently to ... hard nipples!

Buxom British bombshell Kelley Scarlett can't keep her shirt on:

So what chance do you think a flimsy fishnet shirt has against her huge pierced boobs?

Big-breasted blond MILF Krystal Summers is a dirty dirty girl:

She pulls off her black dress, and makes a lucky employee feel even luckier.

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to "Tattoos & Tequila" by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil's Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.


Click on Emi's very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you'd like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don't want any of that drunk-typing happening)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.