HUGE update for people looking to waste a PILE of time: Trick Or Treat Trailer, OZZY on Sobriety, Carmen's Cans, Zakk Wylde on American Idol, Lemmy on stage with SLASH

and now for a close-up of the late Lon Chaney's testicles...you know you want to see it.


Yo mang! Whassup! This be some coo' shizz, yo
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right? and YES, we DO follow you. To the post office, to the grocery store, etc...
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the children we keep in cages...KIDDING!
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Your mom is SO fed up with your old man's antics that she's pushing his Mustang into a pond:

How do we know this? we found it in her personal ad... Hell hath no fury, dude.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Same as the way you say mean things under your breath, thinking no one will notice. Of course everyone DOES)

Here are some prophetic words of wisdom from a once non-sober OZZY OSBOURNE:

Yes, it does indeed S U C K. Unless you think getting out of bed to make poo is gross.

Amazing documentary. Highly reccommended. Yes, by US. Sheesh.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your feet, which smell like you walked through elephant shit)

and now, the movie that proved that playing your records backwards was ALWAYS a bad idea - TRICK OR TREAT

You know Skippy from FAMILY TIES was in this, right? Oh yeah, Gene Simmons and OZZY OSBOURNE too.

Yes, playing your records backwards raises dead rock stars from the dead. God, do we have to explain it all?.

Jennifer Lawrence ... is umm... not related to Martin Lawrence or Joey Lawrence:

In fact, we have no F-ing idea who she is. So there.

Nevaeh. Raina Lee. Touching Tongues. That is all. Resume clicking (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Volvo S60 T6 AWD Car Review (Bullz-Eye)

5 More Rom-Com Sequels We'd Like to See (After When Harry Met Sally 2) (How About We)

I'm Ashamed to be a Boston Sports Fan (MadeMan)

lisa Niels is wearing pants that don't fit. Thankfully she doesn't keep them on for long (z0d)

Sandee Westgate has brown hair and a big-ass tattoo on her ribs. When did this shit happen? (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your taste in women is like your taste in clothing; cheesy, beat up, and worn out)

Anyone see a little show called American Idol last night?

You should check it out. See, it's like a talent show / karaoke contest. There's celebrity judges... oh yeah, and ZAKK F*CKING WYLDE.

Zakk has a little band thing he does on the side...sha-boom.

The fact that Johnny Solinger from SKID ROW can cook is fairly... uhhh, meh.

The fact that he can chug a bottle of tequila near a hot stove and open flame? NOw THAT folks, is entertainment!

See, Johnny is the guy who came into the band after they re-formed...he's not Sebastian Bach, but that has more to do with D.N.A., you know?

Yes, that's Lemmy from MOTORHEAD and his prune-sized liver on stage with SLASH in Argentina.

Does the ol' Lem even HAVE a liver anymore? Sucker drinks an awful lot of Jack Daniels, yaknowwhatImean, mang?

If you haven't seen the Lemmy movie yet, then ... well, you're just a doo-doo brain. Yup. I said it. Doo-Doo brain.

We just thought this was some cool video, so we put it up.

Well, that and we thought a testicle-angle video of Corey Taylor from STONE SOUR was good enough to post.

Someone asked me if I had the new STONE SOUR disc the other day. I yelled "Yes!"...and then slapped him with a fresh haddock.

OK, time to bring out the beeeeeyotches, yo

What is it with girls like Danni Kaliforniaand these enormous bottles of baby oil?

Is their skin that scaly? It certainly must be, because they use an awful lot of it.

our girl Carmen who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos... made um...this:

You can catch Carmen each and every night LIVE at FOUNDRY CAMS! ...aaaaaand roll credits.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS, we felt it needed a facelift, so we made a whole nifty new page at over here now...

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make salsa in woodchipper.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

MILF loves St Patrick's Day, Drunk girls do too, Batman: Arkham City, Sammy Hagar spills the beans on Eddie, DEF LEPPARD Acoustic, Michael Monroe is Old, New FOUNDRY CAMS

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

MILF looking for a friend, Drunkard gets Racial (kind of), Drifing and Crashing in Russia, Ass in Leggings, Red Band PAUL trailer, SOILWORK's new video, CINDERELLA in Sweden, Brianna Frost

Your mom is taking provocative photos of herself...again. Can't say we don't mind.

You see, your mom's been on the market for a while...looking for a 'friend with benefits'...and we don't mean health insurance.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your face. Stop breaking mirrors, assface)

Stand back, folks... this drunkard is about to get all racial!

If only he could REMEMBER what 'racial' means. Last time we checked, the word 'Kerosene' didn't fall under the guidelines of racist terminology.

Thank GOD for dashboard-mounted cameras...

Honestly, how else would we get to see horrific highway accidents up close and personal -- like this one in Russia.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your contribution to society, waste of space)


Ass in Leggings! Ass in Leggings! Ass in Leggings! Yeah. So? (Drunken Stepfather)

OK, how do we give away a hint for this one? blah blah blabbity blah... CHLOE...blabbity blah blah blah


Nessa Is Nice and Naked and Showing off her Naughty Bits (FreakShow Planet)

Car Review: 2011 Nissan Xterra (Bullz-Eye)

What kind of a name is XLCR MOON, anyway? We have no clue and we can't pronounce it (z0d)

Brigitte Anne is blonde, beautiful and showing off her Boobies. BRAVO. (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only friend you have is that bottle of Jack you cozy up to every night.)

Swedish power metal group SOILWORK is getting all mellow in their old age:

... oh wait, we were thinking of Johnny Mathis. Common mistake. SOILWORK still sounds like a fist to the face... several times.

If Tom Keifer from CINDERELLA wants to sing any higher, he's going to have to put his nuts in a vise:

We thought it was 'vice'... then we realized that he can't really put his nuts into cigarettes or alcohol... get it? Vice? Eh, we finally do.

...and we finally broke down and watched the Red Band Trailer for the movie PAUL:

NOW we understand why it's supposed to be so funny. Any movie that references "Alien Balls" this much has GOT to be funny.

From Bands and Big Ass Movies, we move along to... ok, we get it... BOOTY! *blows party horn*

What is Caroline Pierce doing in a movie called BIG WET ASSES?

Here's a hint, Chester. She's not baking banana bread.

The lovely and talented Brianna Frost, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos is lotioning up her chest:

She must have very ashy skin, because why else would a gal rub so much lotion on herself?? Oh. Ah. Wait a moment. We get it now.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is how we say "Beat it, monkeybrain"

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Drunk Russian Lady in Garbage, Ted Williams Auto-Tuned, Winona Ryder's Cleavage, Nikki Sixx's New Book, Steven Tyler & Jimmy Fallon, Heather Summers sucks at Sudoku

Someone better tell this gal she forgot to put a shirt on:

Ah, wait... it's intentional. she must be one of them 'promiscuous' types...we never seem to get enough of them.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Baby it's cold outside...but you don't have to worry because you weigh 300 lbs)

what's that noise coming from the garbage chute?

Oh nothing. It's just a sobbing drunk Russian lady. Warning: Ugly Russian breast ahead.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your general state of health IS...)

Golden-voiced Ted Williams loves his Mommy evidently:

Thanks to our pal Dru Boogie for this amazing auto-tuned remix.

Because we're mean-spirited... we give you... Winona Ryder's cleavage! (Drunken Stepfather)

and because we're good-natured...here's Winona Ryder's naked body.. of course, depending on who you are, this could also go under 'mean-spirited'.

Eight Legendary Drinking Binges that Only Celebrities Could Have Gotten Away With (The Smoking Jacket)

Jenna is wearing shoes with heels SO big, you have to wonder how she doesn't knock herself out with 'em (FreakShow Planet)

Ten QB-needy teams that passed on Aaron Rodgers in the 2005 draft (Scores Report)

Kristen Bennet is the kind of topless brunette in pink panties you can bring home to Momma (Dailyniner)

Nella Jay has awful argyle socks. Thank God she looks great topless, because those socks are really distracting (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't eat frosting for every meal, tubb-o)

Nikki Sixx has a new book coming out called This Is Gonna Hurt: Music, Photography and Life Through the Distorted Lens of Nikki Sixx and SIXX A.M. is releasing an album to go along with it:

Nikki likes taking photographs of wheelchair-bound transsexuals, apparently. Yeah, but who doesn't? Amiright? Amiright?

Steven Tyler (sans AEROSMITH) went on Jimmy Fallon's show the other night to promote his gig as a judge on American Idol, and wound up performing "Walk this Way" with Fallon and THE ROOTS:

... and the song sounded exactly the same. AEROSMITH? Wait, who? When? What?

From kinda smart musicians to kinda dumb blondes...

Heather Summers kinda sucks at Sudoku:

Thank goodness her boobs are huge, otherwise this would be an enormous waste of time.

Speaking of the boobies which are huge:

19 year-old Czech brunette seems to have been trampled by a small woodland creature:

Look at the paw prints on her stomach! What vile miniature creature could have done such a thing?!?!



...and that, as they say, is that. Now go enjoy the day and try not to offend anyone with your horrendous stench...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Three-way-kissing extravaganza, Sebastian Bach sings for UoA, ALTER BRIDGE and SLASH live in Hollywood, Jelena Jensen, and Rachel Aldana show off their boob meat

The next time you head out to a nightclub with your cronies, try to go for the elusive three-way makeout session...

WHo cares if they showed up with other guys... they're all yours for the night... no, we don't mean the boyfriends

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(How's about a New Year's Resolution to get into smaller jeans? No? Didn't think so)

Don't make the clerk at the halal-friendly KFC angry...

You wouldn't like him when he's angry. (and no, we'd never even heard of a 'halal-friendly' ANYTHING until we saw this clip)

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Sophie Monk and her boobs are making a really cheesy movie. (Drunken Stepfather)

Chikita is one sexy Chickie, especially when she's without those pesky clothes (FreakShow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Jaimie Bernhardt (Bullz-Eye)

Veronica DeSouza is a well-oiled instrument. Quick, someone blow into her! (z0d)

Medellon Con is cozying up to not one, but TWO naked young ladies! (Dailyniner)

Vocab Lessons: Baseball Metaphors For Grown-Ups (How about We...)

Stupid Advice: The Art of Manscaping (The Smoking Jacket)

Uncle Administers Ass Whoopin Justice on Teenage Nephew (Video GOne Viral)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry, not every meal consists of cake, blubber guts)

Most college teams have fight songs, but thanks to Sebastian Bach, the University of Oregon has its own POWER BALLAD:

And thanks to irreconcilable differences, Sebastian is separated from his wife of 18 years. Pow. Zing.

Those nifty boys in ALTER BRIDGE we joined by none other than SLASH on stage in HOllywood:

Let the VELVET REVOLVER speculation begin...and end... because Slash has said it's not Myles Kennedy who is commited to Alter Bridge.

...and what would a whole day's worth of rock updates be without... you guessed it! Racks!

Jelena Jensen has very little practical use for those huge boobs of hers:

Unless of course, she's exposing them, then I'm sure you could find a few dozen uses for them...like hammering niails with them

Buty Brit Rachel Aldana knows exactly how far those enormoud G-cups will ger her Next up on the agenda... a brothel in Nevada!

Once again, we marvel at how a girl like that can stay upright with those things hanging off her chest.


...and that, as they say, is that. Now go enjoy the day and try not to offend anyone with your horrendous stench...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.