Hotties on unemployment, Bret Michaels Sings Poorly, Bullet for My Valentine Re-invents the Ballad, Sara Stone, Lisa Ann, and Kelley Scarlett re-invent nudity...kinda

Holy crap. the women on the unemployment line are getting better-looking every day:

alright alright, so we grabbed a photo Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port to make our point. The point is there are a lot of able-bodied people on the unemployment line looking for torrid affairs... it's true. Really. We're serious.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your girthy chunky butt. Here's a free gym membership. Use it.)

OK, I know he's our buddy and we have made videos like this for him, but BRET MICHAELS really should have re-thought singing the National Anthem:

He should stick to singing with POISON and doing an abundance of reality shows. Dude, we love you, but we had to break your balls for this debacle.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Will someone PLEASE get this skinny-as-hell celebrity superstar a sandwich??? (Drunken Stepfather)

Who could it be? Could it be someone who adopts a ton of impoverished kids and has been naked more often than not?...Wow, that was a lot more than a hint. We have to slow down.

Blast From the Past Models: Ali Sonoma (Bullz-Eye)

7 Family Members and Their Stats (Dorkly)

Who DOESN'T love a totally naked Kayden Kross? Exactly....NO ONE. (FreakShow Planet)

Erin Brittany is Tan, Toned, and Totally Shaved (z0d)

Katie Jordan is hosing off her Cooter. Must smell fishy...what? Where'd everyone go? (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that you're still blaming all of your problems on other people. Way to grow up, ya nut.)

Remember those 80's rock ballads? They always had to have a girl like Tawny Kitaen crawling on the hood of a car... or something:

The band BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE takes a different approach with their women. Stick-fighting, mostly.

So what if he's gay? He's Rob Fuckin' HALFORD, maaaaaaan.

He's got a new album, a line of T-shirts, and of course that li'l gig with JUDAS PRIEST, which doesn't suck. He's opening for OZZY OSBOURNE all over North America, too. Goddamn, that's a show we need to see.

From screaming queens to bosom dreams... hey it rhymes. Get off our back

Naturally busty adult starlet Sara Stone has her 36DD's wrapped in a tight sweater:

...and a jackass behind the camera interviewing her. Thank God it doesn't last long and She gives a lucky boy a present

Oh we got a big-boob-thing going on today! It's Superstar Lisa Ann:

She's dumping that pesky brown lingerie in lieu of something more comfy... like nothing at all... just saying...naked is better.

Continuing on with the large bosom theme, Busty British Kelley Scarlett is all by herself:

Ya know what else she does alone? Umm... gets naked and diddles herself. Hooray for diddling!

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tuesday Links: Driver vs. Rockslide, 10 ft Unicycle fail, Big Boobs get a gal a job, Kirstie Alley = Swamp Thing, New Bullet for my Valentine,New RATT

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(So is your smile. Keep your mouth shut, or risk having all of your teeth chisled out)

53 year-old Ralph + 10 ft tall Unicycle = 5 seconds of pure hilarity




Why is Ralph's old ass on a unicycle anyway?

Want to see the world's most oblivious man drive straight into the most obvious Rockslide?




of COURSE you do. Why else you dicking around here?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:





Somebody's great big new boobs landed her a movie role (Drunken Stepfather)



Gee, Whoooo could it be? maybe someone who wasn't that famous to begin with? Eeeeeyah. Probably.





Holy Shit! SWAMP THING is REAL! (WWTDD)



Wait wait...no. Sorry. it's just Kirstie Alley. Sheesh. Remember when she was hot?



Need help filling out your March Madness bracket? (Scores Report)



Rachel Roxxx rocks the big booty (FreakshowPlanet)



Attn Nerdy Poker Fans: How to play online poker with your Rock Band instruments (The Bachelor Guy)



Sigrid has an awful name...but awfully nice nubs (z0d)



The Corned Beef and Cabbage Cocktail. You know, for St. Patty's Day (The Bachelor Guy)



Bianca Beauchamp has big boobs, an amazing booty, and umm... what were we saying? (Dailyniner)



Superhero De-motivational Posters (Gunaxin)



65 Craziest Basketball Fans (Comedy)



The 10 Funniest Public Access Prank Calls Of All Time (Manofest)



Homemade Rocket Fuel is AWESOME (TodaysBigThing)



Jean-Claude Van Dance (Guyism)



The 20 Worst TV News Fails (HEAVY)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that your breath stinks like booze, and your hair smells like old man breath. Repress much?)

Them wacky Welsh fellas in BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE have released the video for "The Last Fight":



The band's new disc, Fever will be out in late April.

as long as we're talking new music, here's a track from RATT's latest disc:


Oooh, that song is just jam-packed with warm, gooey, 80's goodness. Infestation will be out later in April.

From headbangers, we move on to knob gobblers...

our old gal-pal Shay Laren is modeling the tiniest bikini on the ugliest sofa:



Why are we paying attention to the sofa? 1. It's ugly. 2. When you see as much hardcore nudity as we do, you tend to notice OTHER things.

What are the odds of having another video of another girl named Shay on the same day?



Eh, pretty slim... we could have held off till tomorrow to post this clip, but Shay Malone couldn't wait to be gawked at.

Toned, tall Tori Black is ANYTHING but tame...



In fact, she's pretty tawdry in the full uncut clip... and that is one LUCKY vibrator.

To celebrate the opening of Gisele's new solo site, GOT GISELE take a look-see at the new FOUNDRY CAMS video she made for us:






Click on Gisele right now, and watch the full jaw-dropping awesome video!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Thursday Links: Low Cost Dentistry, Baldwin Daughter Gets Revenge, Ginger Spice is looking Old, John Mayer is Sorry, Ted Nugent Is Patriotic

THAT's TERRIBLE:

No money for dental insurance? No Problem!




Just get a big-ass brick, a piece of string, and hold yer breath...

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(but if you keep making that pouty face, it's going to stay that way)





Ginger Spice Got Old, didn't she? (Drunken Stepfather)



...we prefer to remember the Ginger Spice...aka Geri Halliwell who used to make big boob topless videos





Ireland Baldwin has gotten her revenge...mwahahahaha! (WWTDD)



...and since we're total filthbags, let's all stare lovingly at nude pictures of her mother, Kim Basinger.



Blast From the Past Model: Meriah Nelson (Bullz-Eye)



Brandi Bryant Breaks out her Boobs and Booty (FreakshowPlanet)



Top Ten Bear Stories You Need to Know About (Gunaxin)



Colleen Connolly Can't Keep her Clothes On (z0d)



Ten signs your friend is a terrible wingman (The Campus Throne)



Irena and her heavy natural boobs hanging out on the Dock



6 Great Songs Written About Drugs (Afro Jacks)



T-Shirt War! (daveandthomas)



5 Valentine's Day Cards Inspired by the Jersey Shore (CollegeHumor)



Animated Dinasaur Sex? Yes Please (Warming Glow)



10 Rejected Wii Accessories (Comedy)



10 Things You Didn't know about the Brat Pack (MovieFone)



I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that have successfully managed to alienate everyone who has ever tried to help you. Well done, fella!)

Our buddy our friend JOHN MAYER made a tearful apology during his Nashville comment last night:



He's sorry for all those things he said in PLAYBOY recently.

Outspoken conservative and all-around badass TED NUGENT banged out the National Anthem in Texas:



No animals were bow-hunted during the making of this video.

Those dandy fellas in BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE are releasing a new CD in the Spring:



This is the new single "Your Betrayal", and it goes out to radio on March 8.

From bands to breasticles, here's Hungarian hotness Dorothy Green:



Her bikini fell off. No it didn't. She took it off. Seriously. She meant to.

This amazingly fit babe is PLAYBOY's Jessica DeCarlo:



She has NO problem walking around bare-assed, letting guys take photos of it....and we have NO problem with that

WHo IS this large-breasted European blond? Why, it's none other than Katerina, that's who!



She's having a very hard time keeping her boulders in that boulder-holder...and that's just the start of this dirty girl's fun

Our FOUNDRY CAMS girl Brooke made us a finger-licking video. Rob Balducci sent us his new track "Choke". Together, they look like this:






Click on Brooke's Body, crack a beverage, and forget whatever you had planned for the day. she'll be online when you get done mopping up.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.