Chubby gals need love too, Nic Cage's New Movie, METALLICA Guitarist plays soccer with kid's face, Lemmy Knows How to Die, RATT knows how to fade into obscurity, Corey Taylor knows how to dress like a woman

OK, we'll be realists for a moment... not every gal you meet online is going to be a winner...

But who gives a shit? the bigger gals DO try harder. And YES, we're proud to say we know from experience.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(But your sense of aim really sucks. How hard IS it to blow your brains out when you're drunk?)

What do you get when you give Kirk Hammett from METALLICA a big black beach ball?

You get to see him use a little kid in Australia for a goal post. SCORE!

The band is out promoting Metallica/Slayer/Megadeth/Anthrax: The Big 4 - Live from Sofia, Bulgaria, which by the way, we just ordered.
THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:
OK, We lied. It IS...

Is seems that NICOLAS CAGE has gone and made another film no one is going to care about:

Meh, it's OK... They can't ALL be GHOST RIDER...and yes that movie RULED!

Heels, Stockings, Nice ass. Anyone want to guess? (Drunken Stepfather)

Well friends, if you saw her in CHLOE, you don't need to

Featured Model: Allegra Wynne (Bullz-Eye)

Nikki Jayne knows how to wear...and NOT wear...shorts (FreakShow Planet)

Honestly, will someone tell Susana Spears to just not even bring clothing next time? (z0d)

Shera Bechard knows a thing or three about showering (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Someday... Love will find you... break those chains that...oh wait, no it won't, asshole.)

Lemmy, MOTORHEAD, and all of his face bumps want you to check out "I Know How To Die", which is (we think) based on his ability to consume Jack Daniels:

They're about to release the face-bumping-fest The World Is Yours, which we ordered the the classic rock version of.

Yes, because we're SNOBS.

That's it. Corey Taylor from STONE SOUR is officially the Ugliest. Tranny. Ever:

Then again, it was a halloween show. They're out promoting Audio Secrecy to the legions of lunatics. Us being some of them.

You know, RATT used to be able to fill arenas ... like 20 years ago:

Now they're in New York, playing on the smallest. stage... EVER. However, Infestation did sell a decent amount of copies.

AND from RATT we move to RACKS!

Her namme is JEWELS JADE and she's enjoying some vibrator time in the sauna:

Normally we wouldn't be so concerned but please watch your fluids, madam

To say that Nikki Benz has big boobs is a bit of an understatement.

But they're damn big and she seems to have to hold them up a lot.

Her name is Carmen Croft and she's soaping up her huge Czech boobs in the shower.

That, friends...is ALL the information you need

Holy Indian Hotness Priya Anjali Rai is showing her objection to biknis publicly by stripping hers off.

Away with you, vile bikini! There's diddling to be done!

Chad Smith (RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, CHICKENFOOT) and his funk-rock band, CHAD SMITH's BOMBASTIC MEATBATS (Jeff Kollman, Kevin Chown, Ed Roth, and of course, Chad Smith) just dropped a new album titled 'More Meat' and they were saintly enough to give us the track "The Gunboat is On!"... we thought it only appropriate to have our own brown-haired, brown-eyed, BISEXUAL FOUDNRY CAMS babe Natasha do up a video for them. What you see here, folks, is the fruits of that



Click Natasha's Nicely-formed Hiney. then regain your composure and click on on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Natasha LIVE...and Naked... (YOU naked, HER naked, it's all good)
Of course, once you cool off a little, carry your carcass on over to FOUNDRY CAMS where you can chat with Natasha LIVE on cam for hours on end.

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tuesday Links: Driver vs. Rockslide, 10 ft Unicycle fail, Big Boobs get a gal a job, Kirstie Alley = Swamp Thing, New Bullet for my Valentine,New RATT

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(So is your smile. Keep your mouth shut, or risk having all of your teeth chisled out)

53 year-old Ralph + 10 ft tall Unicycle = 5 seconds of pure hilarity




Why is Ralph's old ass on a unicycle anyway?

Want to see the world's most oblivious man drive straight into the most obvious Rockslide?




of COURSE you do. Why else you dicking around here?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:





Somebody's great big new boobs landed her a movie role (Drunken Stepfather)



Gee, Whoooo could it be? maybe someone who wasn't that famous to begin with? Eeeeeyah. Probably.





Holy Shit! SWAMP THING is REAL! (WWTDD)



Wait wait...no. Sorry. it's just Kirstie Alley. Sheesh. Remember when she was hot?



Need help filling out your March Madness bracket? (Scores Report)



Rachel Roxxx rocks the big booty (FreakshowPlanet)



Attn Nerdy Poker Fans: How to play online poker with your Rock Band instruments (The Bachelor Guy)



Sigrid has an awful name...but awfully nice nubs (z0d)



The Corned Beef and Cabbage Cocktail. You know, for St. Patty's Day (The Bachelor Guy)



Bianca Beauchamp has big boobs, an amazing booty, and umm... what were we saying? (Dailyniner)



Superhero De-motivational Posters (Gunaxin)



65 Craziest Basketball Fans (Comedy)



The 10 Funniest Public Access Prank Calls Of All Time (Manofest)



Homemade Rocket Fuel is AWESOME (TodaysBigThing)



Jean-Claude Van Dance (Guyism)



The 20 Worst TV News Fails (HEAVY)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that your breath stinks like booze, and your hair smells like old man breath. Repress much?)

Them wacky Welsh fellas in BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE have released the video for "The Last Fight":



The band's new disc, Fever will be out in late April.

as long as we're talking new music, here's a track from RATT's latest disc:


Oooh, that song is just jam-packed with warm, gooey, 80's goodness. Infestation will be out later in April.

From headbangers, we move on to knob gobblers...

our old gal-pal Shay Laren is modeling the tiniest bikini on the ugliest sofa:



Why are we paying attention to the sofa? 1. It's ugly. 2. When you see as much hardcore nudity as we do, you tend to notice OTHER things.

What are the odds of having another video of another girl named Shay on the same day?



Eh, pretty slim... we could have held off till tomorrow to post this clip, but Shay Malone couldn't wait to be gawked at.

Toned, tall Tori Black is ANYTHING but tame...



In fact, she's pretty tawdry in the full uncut clip... and that is one LUCKY vibrator.

To celebrate the opening of Gisele's new solo site, GOT GISELE take a look-see at the new FOUNDRY CAMS video she made for us:






Click on Gisele right now, and watch the full jaw-dropping awesome video!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Thursday Links: One more Day for Deviance, Dopey Robber vs Dye Pack, Tiger's Big Booby Mistress, NBC = WTF, New RATT music, Shadows Fall Does OZZY

Just keep saying it... "one more day... one more day...we only have to be good for one more day"



Morality is for suckers. Deviant behavior is for winners. Get on it, bub!

THAT's TERRIBLE:

A chubby 50-ish woman robbed a bank in Wichita, Kansas:




...but the dye pack exploded, so now she's got to figure out how she's going to spend all those ink-soaked hundreds.

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(but your perpetural whining is really irritating the shit out of us, so how's about removing your larynx with a spork?)





Tiger Woods' mistress "Big Boobs MaGee" on some Italian talk Show (Drunken Stepfather)



Loredana Jolie Ferriolo was a nude model for a while but that didn't work out, so she started humping Tiger Woods.





WTF is NBC doing? (WWTDD)



Featured Model: Karen Salas (Bullz-Eye)



Jack and JILL went up the hill. JILL has really big tits. (FreakshowPlanet)



The Super Bowl XLIV Guide For Boob-havers (Yep Yep)



Nadine has Nada Clothes On (z0d)



10 Worst Super Bowl Commercials of All-Time (Sports Pickle)



Shanda Michelle has really white hair...and she's got no clothes on (Daily Niner)



BIOSHOCK 2 Trailer features Big Sister on Daddy Action (GammaSquad)



5 jobs that Somehow Exist (FunnyCrave)



Maxim, AskMen and FHM's Top 100 Women Lists Dissected (Asylum)



Ten Gadgets Designed Specifically for Lazy People (Gunaxin)



Hot Chick Time Machine: Heather Thomas


I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that have successfully managed to alienate everyone who has ever tried to help you. Well done, fella!)

What's this? New music from RATT? Yes indeedy. Get yer party hats on, kids!



C'mon. You got a boner. Admit it. Don't hide it. Be proud. Show it to your mom.

and if that is soooo not your thing, how's about a video of the guys in SHADOWS FALL doing some classic OZZY OSBOURNE:



Swing and a miss? Hmmm... OK, let's shift gears a little....

We stared at this video of Aria Giovanni for 30 minutes trying to think of something witty to say:



We failed. It's mathematically impossible to be funny while watching Aria Giovanni roll around naked fondling herself.

Aaaand as long as we're talking tits... check out Candice Cardinele trying to stay packed into a bra:



She's not doing too good.... not that we mind, of course.

Our FOUNDRY CAMS girl Brooke/b> made us a finger-licking video. Rob Balducci sent us his new track "Choke". Together, they look like this:






Click on Brooke's Body, crack a beverage, and forget whatever you had planned for the day. she'll be online when you get done mopping up.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.