Hotties on unemployment, Bret Michaels Sings Poorly, Bullet for My Valentine Re-invents the Ballad, Sara Stone, Lisa Ann, and Kelley Scarlett re-invent nudity...kinda

Holy crap. the women on the unemployment line are getting better-looking every day:

alright alright, so we grabbed a photo Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port to make our point. The point is there are a lot of able-bodied people on the unemployment line looking for torrid affairs... it's true. Really. We're serious.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your girthy chunky butt. Here's a free gym membership. Use it.)

OK, I know he's our buddy and we have made videos like this for him, but BRET MICHAELS really should have re-thought singing the National Anthem:

He should stick to singing with POISON and doing an abundance of reality shows. Dude, we love you, but we had to break your balls for this debacle.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Will someone PLEASE get this skinny-as-hell celebrity superstar a sandwich??? (Drunken Stepfather)

Who could it be? Could it be someone who adopts a ton of impoverished kids and has been naked more often than not?...Wow, that was a lot more than a hint. We have to slow down.

Blast From the Past Models: Ali Sonoma (Bullz-Eye)

7 Family Members and Their Stats (Dorkly)

Who DOESN'T love a totally naked Kayden Kross? Exactly....NO ONE. (FreakShow Planet)

Erin Brittany is Tan, Toned, and Totally Shaved (z0d)

Katie Jordan is hosing off her Cooter. Must smell fishy...what? Where'd everyone go? (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that you're still blaming all of your problems on other people. Way to grow up, ya nut.)

Remember those 80's rock ballads? They always had to have a girl like Tawny Kitaen crawling on the hood of a car... or something:

The band BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE takes a different approach with their women. Stick-fighting, mostly.

So what if he's gay? He's Rob Fuckin' HALFORD, maaaaaaan.

He's got a new album, a line of T-shirts, and of course that li'l gig with JUDAS PRIEST, which doesn't suck. He's opening for OZZY OSBOURNE all over North America, too. Goddamn, that's a show we need to see.

From screaming queens to bosom dreams... hey it rhymes. Get off our back

Naturally busty adult starlet Sara Stone has her 36DD's wrapped in a tight sweater:

...and a jackass behind the camera interviewing her. Thank God it doesn't last long and She gives a lucky boy a present

Oh we got a big-boob-thing going on today! It's Superstar Lisa Ann:

She's dumping that pesky brown lingerie in lieu of something more comfy... like nothing at all... just saying...naked is better.

Continuing on with the large bosom theme, Busty British Kelley Scarlett is all by herself:

Ya know what else she does alone? Umm... gets naked and diddles herself. Hooray for diddling!

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Holiday Hotness is Heavenly, New GREEN HORNET trailer, Rare Dimebag Darrell video, ANTHRAX is still Moshing, Shay Laren, Sara Stone, Aria Giovanni, and Lexi Ray are all Nekkid

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Actually, it's NOT. But your inability to get your hefty ass off the couch IS. Move a little, why dontcha?)

When your wife can do decline crunches while holding your son, you know you have to watch what you say, because picking a fight with abdominal muscles like that could get you killed:

Which reminds us, there's only a few days left to sign up for her BLACK FRIDAY SALE - lose a pile of weight in time for all those Holiday parties!

Coincidentally, that's "Pendulum" from Retooled (feat. Rich DeCicco) blasting in that clip. Catchy, eh?


THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The second trailer for Skinny Seth Rogen's adaptation of The GREEN HORNET is online and while there's a LOT more explosions in this one, we're still not 100% sure we want to see it:

See? SMAAAAASH!!

If your ass is THAT big, should you really be wearing leather pants? (Drunken Stepfather)

Whose ass? Umm, HER ass...which used to look a helluva lot better

2010 Holiday Movie Preview (Bullz-Eye)

Stormy Daniels could calm even the most savage seas and rough waters... no, not really...but she IS very attractive (FreakShow Planet)

Julri Waters (yes, that's how you spell it) is a PLAYBOY girl who says 'yes yes' to her no-no spot (z0d)

Becky Payne is going to give herself one hell of a headache if she keeps hanging upside-down like that (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that one day the cops are going to have to knock a hole in your wall to get you out of the house, chunky-butt.)

Headbangers rejoice! DIMEBAG DARRELL is alive and well ...in video form, that is:

This rare semi-upskirt footage of DAMAGEPLAN was captured a little less than three months before Dimebag's murder.

Get Some DAMAGEPLAN, why dontcha?

Something tells us if the guys in ANTHRAX really DID get "Caught in a Mosh", one of those old farts would break a hip.:

Not familiar with ANTHRAX madam? We can fix that, you know.

From metal to ... oh mama!

Naturally large-breasted SARA STONE can't get anywhere near a swimming pool or fountain without whipping off her bikini

Just like in this scene from NATURAL WONDERS 7 (which you can see on demand NOW!

Sure, there's art hanging all over the walls, but the real work of art is Aria Giovanni's Ass ...which we cannot get enough of.

there's just something about the scent of a good hiney... Amiright? Amiright?

For a college gal, PLAYBOY's Lexi Ray ain't too bright.

The shirt comes off BEFORE we get in the shower, toots.

Not that we really care all too much about decorating, but Shay Laren is taking off her bikini and showing off her boobs...

...and all WE can stare at is that ugly, uncomfortable-looking sofa. Buh-lech.

Chad Smith (RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, CHICKENFOOT) and his funk-rock band, CHAD SMITH's BOMBASTIC MEATBATS (Jeff Kollman, Kevin Chown, Ed Roth, and of course, Chad Smith) just dropped a new album titled 'More Meat' and they were saintly enough to give us the track "The Gunboat is On!"... we thought it only appropriate to have our own brown-haired, brown-eyed, BISEXUAL FOUDNRY CAMS babe Natasha do up a video for them. What you see here, folks, is the fruits of that



Click Natasha's Nicely-formed Hiney. then regain your composure and click on on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Natasha LIVE...and Naked... (YOU naked, HER naked, it's all good)
Of course, once you cool off a little, carry your carcass on over to FOUNDRY CAMS where you can chat with Natasha LIVE on cam for hours on end.

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Dancing Doll Man, Fergie in her Undies, New videos from ALICE IN CHAINS & SOUNDGARDEN, Sara Jay, Sara Stone, and Alina all Show off their Huge Hooters

Welcome... to another week off... cleaning Chex Mix out of the bed:

granted, this needs to be done when you have two otherwise attached women eating Chex off each other's butts. Adultery. It's for Adults. Just like Chex Mix.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but definitely not as bad as the looks YOU get coming up and down the hall)

Some people would call Australia's Dancing Doll Man 'truly free':

We, on the other hand, submit to you, that he is 'truly insane'. Deal with it. He's loco. Not motive.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



Fergie on a Bike In Her Underwear (Drunken Stepfather)

When Beer Saves The Day (The Smoking Jacket)

Heather Carolin is wearing a big ass hat ...and nothing else (Freakshow Planet)

Featured Model: Leia Marie (Bullz-Eye)

Domino has Tattoos...and Big Boobs...and that's it (z0d)

Hamster Mis-shifts in V-tec (Fork Party)

Kayden Kross wastes no time in showing you her no-no spot (Dailyniner)

Dad Grooves to Bieber, Upstages Daughters (college humor)

4 Year-old is Pissed But with really good reason (Noob Dad)

The 20 Coolest NFL Player Cars (Sub5Zero)

Hamster Mis-shifts in V-tec I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the closest you'll ever be to rock star status is singing drunken karaoke in a basement. Glug. Glug. Glug.)

In case you've been living in a cave, SOUNDGARDEN is back and is about to release some new music?

Here's the first single from Telephantasm, called "Black Rain"... Hey, we saw that movie too!

As long as we're talking about Seattle bands, ALICE IN CHAINS released the most confusing video we've ever seen for "Acid Bubble":

We're of the opinion that you have to be ON acid to understand the video, but of course we're not going to condone that behavior.

From Seattle grunge, we take a hard left to Ameircan Boobs

Sienna West needs her office cleaned...and her carpet munched:

Thank GOD Sara Stone shows up and takes care of everything.

The seductive, MILF-tastic Sara Jay is showing off her curvaceous body... why?

Because in all honesty, it's about to get reamed by a very well-endowed, and happy black man... look at that smile!!

This is Ukrainian-born Alina. She is young, she is naturally-busty, and she is willing to get naked:

In addition, Alina is also willing to compromise herself in any which way she can to make a name for herself... use EXTRA lube, honey muffin!

Camerella is a naturally-busty, young, perky, beautiful young lady who has no problem taking her clothes off on her cam. She's also the kind of good sport who has no problem chopping up one of our old-school, over-sized Foundrymusic T-Shirts and turning it into a two-piece outfit. Thanks to Josh, Keith, and our friends in BUCKCHERRY for the song "All Night Long".



Click on Camerella's strategically-placed hand, watch the full-length video, then spend all night long chit-chatting with Camerella online on her cam LIVE!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Wacky Woman Witness, New 'BURIED' trailer, Axl storms off stage AGAIN, Awesome Acoustic Metallica, Sara Stone & Kelly Madison Topless, Angie Savage has her fingers in her mouth

It's the end of the week, and the start of a long-as-hell weekend (for some) so spend it with an experienced older woman you barely know messing up a hotel room... and we don't mean dropping candy on the floor, either

Silly boy, adultery is for adults. Stealing your parents' smut is for kids. Yeah, we're a wonderful influence

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as horrible as the situation you're about to find yourself in, drunkard. Vaya con Dios!)

A Gas station convenience store in Kansas City was almost robbed the other day:

...but the most interesting part of the story was this whacked-out lady who told her story to KMBC Channel 9.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Because it's our God-given right, we're going to plug this one more time It's the first original animation from the fine folks at gear-logo central...FOUNDRYTOONS... or FMTOONS for short

Meet Fuzz Buttrock and Hooks the Gorilla in Episode 1: Kitty Littered!

You can also watch it on YouTube


and because we're just SO...GODDAMN...TALENTED, let's give it up one more time for RETOOLED!

Thanks to our production genius buddy Rich DeCicco and guitar virtuoso Rob Balducci, We present to you RETOOLED - totally revamped versions of those classic FOUNDRY songs.


See? We even updated the cover art... now click it!


Whose fantastic ass could this be in some movie we've never heard of? (Drunken Stepfather)

We promise we won't ruin it by saying something like "Good luck Chuck" or "Fantastic 4"... oh no. We wrecked it again

Ten TV Shows You Never Knew Existed (Gunaxin)

Diana Dagota. Sounds Exotic. Looks Erotic. We're Psychotic. (Freakshow Planet)

Fall Movie Preview (Bullz-Eye)

Simona is all about cleanliness. Here she is, taking a shower. outside. with people watching (z0d)

Brandon Jennings Goes All Ga-Ga [Video] (The Hoop Doctors)

Oh Jessica Marie, Why Won't you look at me. Oh that's right. You're hot. (Dailyniner)

The Man Who Licked Princess Leia: An Interview With Jabba the Hutt Puppeteer Toby Philpott (inside Movies)

Facebook Founder Whines About His Privacy, Poor Baby (Gamma Squad)

When Stallone Met Twitter - Part 2 (Film Drunk)

Hilarious STFU Jesus Motivational Comics (Fork Party)

Ten Import Models to Look Out for at Car Shows This Year (Sub5Zero)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you're about to wreck the ONE semi-solid relationship you still have in your life)

Hey Look! Axl Rose and GUNS N' ROSES walked out on stage late...AGAIN. Fans threw bottes...AGAIN...

Aaaand Axl had a fit and stormed off stage...AGAIN.

This husky fella is Russian guitarist Igor Presnyakov:

He's playing the most baddest-ass version of METALLICA's "Fade To Black" you'll ever hear.

From friggin' amazing guitar players to fokkered up film trailers

Here's the new trailer for the Ryan Reynolds claustrophobia-fest BURIED:

If you're not fond of tight spaces, this movie should have you hyperventilating in NO time.

Don't you go anywhere, madam! We have BOOBIES to show you!

Breastacular Kelly Madison and Sara Stone do their civic duty and haul out their huge boobs:

You can watch the full scene in the epic film Big Natural Titties 5 - on DVD, of course.

Young, impressionable busty blond Angie Savage is home, all alone, jamming her fingers down her throat:

Goodness golly, we hope she's not bulimic. Oh wait. She's not. We're completely missing the point.

21 year-old Breanna (aka BreannaRose) makes her FOUNDRY CAMS debut in this eye-popping topless video which features (of course) Breanna, one of our old-school, ripped up FoundryMusic T-shirts, and Breanna's outstanding topless body. You'll never wish you were a tiny white thong more in your life.
Thanks to Danish heavy metal band PRETTY MAIDS for the song "Pandemonium".



Click on Breanna's ta-tas...watch the full vid...rock out for a while... then once you're all done drooling into a bucket, head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Breanna LIVE on CAM!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.