Worst Guitar Solo, Close Call Car Crash, Snooki Does Rolling Stone, WHITESNAKE unplugged, MOTLEY CRUE summer tour, VINCE NEIL's Mistake, American Idol does Judas Priest, Angie Savage does Zebra

Seriously trying to find something wiseass to say here, and coming up very very blank:

Face it. Your mom and her friends are smoking hot and as long as she posting photos like these... we'll forever be struggling with what to say.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like this year's Academy Awards. What a snooze-fest. Oof)

All the guitar lessons in the world aren't going to help this dude:

Give it up, shmuck. You're not going to get any better.

Officer! We're going to need a fresh diaper and a clean pair of slacks for this man!

Ten more feet, and that guy was going to be buried in two boxes.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike this year's Oscars... yes, we're going to beat that into the ground)


Why is the seriously un-bangable SNOOKI on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine? (Drunken Stepfather)

Is ROLLING STONE doing this deliberately to piss off readers, or is it honor-a-troll month and nobody told us? Magazine sales must be sliding.


Charlie Sheen on Living with Goddesses: 7 Relationship Tips (How About We)

Vanessa Lake is wrapped in Latex on a Summer Day. No wonder she's taking her clothes off (FreakShow Planet)

A Chat with Topher Grace (Bullz Eye)

Conny is kinda cute...and that's kind of an understatement of the year (z0d)

Jana and Georgia are all kinds of friendly and naked, and that's just the way we likes 'em (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you stayed up to watch this year's Academy Awards... getting tired of that line yet?)

Has David Coverdale ever NOT looked like an old woman? We say 'uhh, no'

Keep in mind this show was in Tokyo in 1997... and it's all downhill from here, kids.

Speaking of old ladies, who's the old woman sitting between Tommy and Nikki from MOTLEY CRUE?

Oh. Oh, wait a minute. That's David Johansen. Nice wig.

In a candid, sit-down interview with... his girlfriend... VINCE NEIL said that his latest DUI arrest and stint in jail was a 'mistake'.

He also revealed that the sky is blue and water is wet. Glug-Glug, Vrooom, Vince.

Anyone else see the little gay kid doing the JUDAS PRIEST song on American Idol>

OK, OK... we have no idea if that's true. He may be a gay MAN. Oh...zing... swee what we did there?

Oh let's just get to the boobs... So glad you agree:

How many zebras had to die to make Angie Savage's Bikini?

Umm, none. It's a fucking bikini. It's cloth. Chill out.

When you have boobs as big as Leanne Crow, you just have to play with 'em

Well you don't HAVE to... but it's really fun when you can.

Switching gears (kind of)... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is the way you don't pay attention to the Academy Awards... Had enough yet?

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

MILF Cyborg - Maybe, Gun-shy Robbers, ADLER's APPETITE in SPAIN, DEICIDE in Rochester, STONE SOUR on Kimmel, Candy Manson wrapped in Gold, Carmen wrapped in Very little

Joey's mom is in the kitchen with giant tubs of whey protein. Crap. Joey's mom is a Cyborg

Oh hell, there's a first time for everything. hooking up with a cyborg could be a lot of fun...regardless of whether it's your friend's mom.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your face. Stop breaking mirrors, assface)

Check out the world's most gun-shy robbers...

These geniuses held up a jewelry store in England. The shop owner had NO weaponry of any kind. He still chased them away... *cough* PUSSIES *cough*

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your contribution to society, waste of space)


Could someone tell Bam Margera that if he's going to cheat, maybe he shouldn't be taking PICTURES of it (Drunken Stepfather)



Anju... what a weird name. What a not-so-weird body (FreakShow Planet)

Ten Movies the 2011 Academy Award Nominees Don't Want You to See (Bullz-Eye)

Bobbi Billard has boobs you just want to go to bed on (z0d)

Sofia Webber will have you so so so so so so...what were we saying? Dayum. (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only friend you have is that bottle of Jack you cozy up to every night.)

DEICIDE could be the hardest-to-understand band playing today:

Of course, that's a sweeping generalization based on one video of the low-end, gutteral howling done by the singer/bassist with the upside-down cross burned in his head. WOW, don't sound too judgemental now, sheesh..

ADLER's APPETITE continues to capitalize on the old GUNS N' ROSES catalog with gigs like this one in Spain:

Eh, if SLASH can do it, so can Steven Adler... and comparing Adler to Slash is realistic... yeah, sure..

...and we can't think of anything smarmy or sarcastic to say about STONE SOUR playing on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE:

Only that if CORY TAYLOR gets the VELVET REVOLVER gig, that's THREE bands that sucker is going to be in, and we'll be counting down until his massive corinary.

From Guitars... we spin the wheel of awesome over to... you guessed it! Girls!

Candy Manson is packed into a gold leotard just about as tight as humanly possible... and that, folks is no small feat:

You ever wonder how a gal with 32DDD bosoms sleeps at night? Does she have to dig out a trench in her mattress? One can only wonder.

Once again, we must ogle the lovely...and busty...Carmen from Cam With Carmen...who you have seen in numerous FOUNDRY CAMS videos:

There's nothing like strategically-placed heart-shaped decals to make the imagination run wild, thankyouverymuch.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is how we say "Beat it, monkeybrain"

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Auto-Tuned Earthquake Warning, SCREAM 4 Traler #2, Tight and Toned Tushy, DISTURBED and SEVENDUST in PA, STONE SOUR, Carmella Bing, Alexis Texas and Her Booty

Psst... your mom is posting photos of herself online again:

Apparently, the old man isn't getting the job done at home. perhaps one of your friends could help?...Yeah, we know. Sick, right?

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Baby it's cold outside...but you don't have to worry because you weigh 300 lbs)

Oh Frankie McDonald, your Earthquake warnings are so... unnecessary.

Thanks to our pal Dru Boogie, they just got a whole lot funnier.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your general state of health IS...)

More Ghostface Killer = More Excellent! The second trailer for the latest entry in the SCREAM film franchise has hit the web, and the body count is R I S I N G:

Does Neve Campbell die in this one? Oh sweet lord, does anyone even CARE?!?!?!.

The most toned-ed hiney ever is going snorkeling (Drunken Stepfather)

You might actually know this one...if you're into the muscular girls.. and if you're not, then you'll never ever guess this one.

Jenna Jameson...when she was still kinda normal looking (FreakShow Planet)

Building Blocks: Why "Minecraft" matters to Gamers (Bullz-Eye)

Spicy Latina Lupe Fuentes likes her skateboard...and likes her shirt off (Dailyniner)

Cydel is one of the few women that makes us re-think our dislike of redheads (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't eat frosting for every meal, tubb-o)

DISTURBED has hit the road on the MUSIC AS A WEAPON TOUR once again:

and if gorilla noises are wrong, these guys don't wanna be right.

Speaking of MUSIC AS A WEAPON, those guys in SEVENDUST are on the road with DISTURBED, KORN, and IN THIS MOMENT:

SEVENDUST... screaming at Seven Thousand Fans? I'm MINDING...MY...OWN...BUSINESS!!!! FALCONS ON TOP! FALCONS GONNA WIN!!

Ladies and Germs... We present the softer side of STONE SOUR frontman Corey Taylor:

Simple is better, sometimes...cuz you don't need to bother...

From big bands to big booty and big boobies...

Alexis Texas thinks her butt can knock pictures off the wall:

Gee honey, that's fantastic. Can you make it rain, too? Can ya?

Busty brunette Carmella Bing is going out to dinner and spent an awful lot of time lotioning up her boobs:

If all women took this long to lotion up, all men would starve to death.



...and that, as they say, is that. Now go enjoy the day and try not to offend anyone with your horrendous stench...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Hotties on unemployment, Bret Michaels Sings Poorly, Bullet for My Valentine Re-invents the Ballad, Sara Stone, Lisa Ann, and Kelley Scarlett re-invent nudity...kinda

Holy crap. the women on the unemployment line are getting better-looking every day:

alright alright, so we grabbed a photo Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port to make our point. The point is there are a lot of able-bodied people on the unemployment line looking for torrid affairs... it's true. Really. We're serious.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your girthy chunky butt. Here's a free gym membership. Use it.)

OK, I know he's our buddy and we have made videos like this for him, but BRET MICHAELS really should have re-thought singing the National Anthem:

He should stick to singing with POISON and doing an abundance of reality shows. Dude, we love you, but we had to break your balls for this debacle.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Will someone PLEASE get this skinny-as-hell celebrity superstar a sandwich??? (Drunken Stepfather)

Who could it be? Could it be someone who adopts a ton of impoverished kids and has been naked more often than not?...Wow, that was a lot more than a hint. We have to slow down.

Blast From the Past Models: Ali Sonoma (Bullz-Eye)

7 Family Members and Their Stats (Dorkly)

Who DOESN'T love a totally naked Kayden Kross? Exactly....NO ONE. (FreakShow Planet)

Erin Brittany is Tan, Toned, and Totally Shaved (z0d)

Katie Jordan is hosing off her Cooter. Must smell fishy...what? Where'd everyone go? (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that you're still blaming all of your problems on other people. Way to grow up, ya nut.)

Remember those 80's rock ballads? They always had to have a girl like Tawny Kitaen crawling on the hood of a car... or something:

The band BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE takes a different approach with their women. Stick-fighting, mostly.

So what if he's gay? He's Rob Fuckin' HALFORD, maaaaaaan.

He's got a new album, a line of T-shirts, and of course that li'l gig with JUDAS PRIEST, which doesn't suck. He's opening for OZZY OSBOURNE all over North America, too. Goddamn, that's a show we need to see.

From screaming queens to bosom dreams... hey it rhymes. Get off our back

Naturally busty adult starlet Sara Stone has her 36DD's wrapped in a tight sweater:

...and a jackass behind the camera interviewing her. Thank God it doesn't last long and She gives a lucky boy a present

Oh we got a big-boob-thing going on today! It's Superstar Lisa Ann:

She's dumping that pesky brown lingerie in lieu of something more comfy... like nothing at all... just saying...naked is better.

Continuing on with the large bosom theme, Busty British Kelley Scarlett is all by herself:

Ya know what else she does alone? Umm... gets naked and diddles herself. Hooray for diddling!

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Holiday Hotness is Heavenly, New GREEN HORNET trailer, Rare Dimebag Darrell video, ANTHRAX is still Moshing, Shay Laren, Sara Stone, Aria Giovanni, and Lexi Ray are all Nekkid

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Actually, it's NOT. But your inability to get your hefty ass off the couch IS. Move a little, why dontcha?)

When your wife can do decline crunches while holding your son, you know you have to watch what you say, because picking a fight with abdominal muscles like that could get you killed:

Which reminds us, there's only a few days left to sign up for her BLACK FRIDAY SALE - lose a pile of weight in time for all those Holiday parties!

Coincidentally, that's "Pendulum" from Retooled (feat. Rich DeCicco) blasting in that clip. Catchy, eh?


THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The second trailer for Skinny Seth Rogen's adaptation of The GREEN HORNET is online and while there's a LOT more explosions in this one, we're still not 100% sure we want to see it:

See? SMAAAAASH!!

If your ass is THAT big, should you really be wearing leather pants? (Drunken Stepfather)

Whose ass? Umm, HER ass...which used to look a helluva lot better

2010 Holiday Movie Preview (Bullz-Eye)

Stormy Daniels could calm even the most savage seas and rough waters... no, not really...but she IS very attractive (FreakShow Planet)

Julri Waters (yes, that's how you spell it) is a PLAYBOY girl who says 'yes yes' to her no-no spot (z0d)

Becky Payne is going to give herself one hell of a headache if she keeps hanging upside-down like that (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that one day the cops are going to have to knock a hole in your wall to get you out of the house, chunky-butt.)

Headbangers rejoice! DIMEBAG DARRELL is alive and well ...in video form, that is:

This rare semi-upskirt footage of DAMAGEPLAN was captured a little less than three months before Dimebag's murder.

Get Some DAMAGEPLAN, why dontcha?

Something tells us if the guys in ANTHRAX really DID get "Caught in a Mosh", one of those old farts would break a hip.:

Not familiar with ANTHRAX madam? We can fix that, you know.

From metal to ... oh mama!

Naturally large-breasted SARA STONE can't get anywhere near a swimming pool or fountain without whipping off her bikini

Just like in this scene from NATURAL WONDERS 7 (which you can see on demand NOW!

Sure, there's art hanging all over the walls, but the real work of art is Aria Giovanni's Ass ...which we cannot get enough of.

there's just something about the scent of a good hiney... Amiright? Amiright?

For a college gal, PLAYBOY's Lexi Ray ain't too bright.

The shirt comes off BEFORE we get in the shower, toots.

Not that we really care all too much about decorating, but Shay Laren is taking off her bikini and showing off her boobs...

...and all WE can stare at is that ugly, uncomfortable-looking sofa. Buh-lech.

Chad Smith (RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, CHICKENFOOT) and his funk-rock band, CHAD SMITH's BOMBASTIC MEATBATS (Jeff Kollman, Kevin Chown, Ed Roth, and of course, Chad Smith) just dropped a new album titled 'More Meat' and they were saintly enough to give us the track "The Gunboat is On!"... we thought it only appropriate to have our own brown-haired, brown-eyed, BISEXUAL FOUDNRY CAMS babe Natasha do up a video for them. What you see here, folks, is the fruits of that



Click Natasha's Nicely-formed Hiney. then regain your composure and click on on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Natasha LIVE...and Naked... (YOU naked, HER naked, it's all good)
Of course, once you cool off a little, carry your carcass on over to FOUNDRY CAMS where you can chat with Natasha LIVE on cam for hours on end.

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.