Groupies RULE, Zakk Wylde and William Shatner, gratuitous drum solo, OZZY on TV, SLASH on Lopez Tonight, Big Booty and Bigger Bra Sizes

Being famous certainly has its perks, but what do all the groupies do when there are no celebrities around?

Glad you asked! They troll around online looking for strangers to have uncommitted flings with

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your bald spot. Want the number of a good wig store?)

William Shatner has recruited none other than ZAKK WYLDE to perform on his cover of ... "IRON MAN"?:

We don't agree with it at all. We UNDERSTAND it...but we don't agree with it.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your constant craving for attention IS. Weren't you hugged as a child?)

Normally we wouldn't care about Amber Heard, but she's looking great in Esquire (Drunken Stepfather)

we appreciate Amber Heard even more now that we've seen her naked scenes

Malibu is named after a city AND a beverage. Thank God she wasn't named "Bayonne" (FreakShow Planet)

11 Movies for 2011 (Bullz-Eye)

Brittany Bardot is dressed like a schoolgirl, but she's anything other than that (Dailyniner)

Cali Lakai. Awful Name. Amazing Body (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your temper, attitude and disposition make you unfit to hold any other job except 'house boy')

...and now for your gratuitos drum solo of the day, here's Frankie Banali from QUIET RIOT:

QUIET RIOT is totally re-formed with a new singer because... well, because their original singer... is uhh... dead.

A surprisingly lucid OZZY OSBOURNE appeared on Good Day L.A.:

Amazing what a lack of chemicals in the body will do to a person.

SLASH was on LOPEZ TONIGHT playing the ROLLING STONES classic "Brown Sugar":

Eh, not many. One, maybe? Can you even call the band THIN LIZZY at this point.

From metal, we saunter gently over to the mammaries...nice segue, right?

Busty blondes Kayla Cupcakes and Summer Sin filled up the whole camera with their massive hooters:

...and if not for the obnoxious cameraman, this clip would be perfect.

...and now for today's lecture on rocket science...

...No, not really. We lied. It's Brooke Lee Adams and Ava Rose showing off their big booty. That's kind of like rocket science, isn't it?



...and that, as they say, is the way the cookie crumbles... Now go have a good cry and drink yourself unconscious

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

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We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Skydiving with a Rubik's Cube, Kelly Brook at Piranha Premiere, Mystery Hiney, Joe Perry Knocks Down Steven Tyler, Dokken is Getting Old, Ashlynn Brooke, Karina Hart, and Lataya Roxx are all topless and frisky

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not nearly as bad as your self-esteem. How DO you make it through the day without slitting your wrists?)

If you're not jumping out of a plane on an inflatable raft, doing a Rubik's cube, then you're just a pussy:

Skydivers in the Czech Republic apparently have balls the size of basketballs.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Kelly Brook at the Piranha 3D Premiere (WWTDD)

and WHY should you care? Because you get to see Kelly Brook's Tits and Arse in Piranha 3D. Duh.


Gee, whose surgically-augmented ass in a bikini is this? (Drunken Stepfather)

Come ON, guess, would ya? it's not like we're going to tell you she's a former Playboy Playmate who released a sex tape through Vivid. Aw shit. We did it again.

Millionaire Couple Builds Robotic Child (Noob Dad)

Monique Alexander makes slutty look not-so-slutty in this Black & White Photo Shoot (Freakshow Planet)

2010 Summer TCA Press Tour Recap (Bullz-Eye)

Evelyn Rain Wants to show you what's Under Her shorts (z0d)
Adventures In Rihanna’s On-Stage Self-Love (The Frisky)

Seven Technologies That Are Going to Kill Us All (UPROXX)

Welcome to Nassau: They have Dope Bagels and Rich Kids (New York Pudding)

15 Ways to Fight the Freshman 15 (The Campus Socialite)

The 15 Most Famous Secrets and Glitches in Videogame History (Dorkly)

Jessica Jaymes is looking all old-school pinup in this nifty photo set (Dailyniner)

I'M SORRY:
(So sorry the only women that you can pick up are hungover stragglers from last night's pool party)

In Toronto, where AEROSMITH was on tour at the Air Canada Centre, Joe Perry knocked Steven Tyler clean off the stage:

You know, in case you haven't seen them... you should go see AEROSMITH live before Perry and Tyler strangle one another.

You're not Rockin... unless you're blowing your voice out with Don Dokken! whose voice is sounding worse every day...

DOKKEN's latest album is a collection of re-recorded classics... and it's on sale now!

From classic rock, we segue into classic RACKS...

This video of the lovely Ashlynn Brooke is not exactly what we'd call 'subtle':

Any clip that starts with a camer aimed up her skirt and her butt getting oiled up is bound to end well.

This busty Slovak chick is LaTaya Roxx, and she's deluded herself into thinking she's Batman:

Since when does Batman bounce on a trampoline with his tits hanging out? once, maybe? Exactly.

Keeping with the eastern European big-boobed babes here's Karina Hart and her obnoxiously-huge boobs:

They're packed into a teeny-tiny bikini... but honestly they don't stay in there for very long. they flop out very quickly and she shows off their 34H goodness.

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to "Tattoos & Tequila" by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil's Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.


Click on Emi's very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you'd like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don't want any of that drunk-typing happening)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Scooter smacked by car, New & Old Victoria Silvstedt, Mystery Nips, Five Finger Death Punch on Kimmel, Zakk Wylde Wank-tastic Gutiar Playing, Ashlynn Brooke, Robin Andersen

Why did the ancient Egyptians call Wednesday "Hump Day"? probably because of all the mid-day sex the Pharaohs were having... Nice, right? A Pharaoh reference...

It's a centuries-old tradition, so take that horny co-worker of yours to a local motel and soil the sheets. more than they already HAVE been, we mean.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not nearly as bad as your self-esteem. How DO you make it through the day without slitting your wrists?)

Thanks to the wonder of the dashboard-mounted camera, we get to see another dummy on a scooter get wrecked:

Why would you pull in front of a car THEN hit the brakes? You're gonna need a new scooter, mister.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Victoria Silvstedt in a Bikini (WWTDD)

You know, Victoria was the 1997 Playmate of the Year


Saaaay, who's got the rock hard nips going on? (Drunken Stepfather)

You wouldn't believe it if we told you So we're just gonna give you a hint: Big Forehead, Wednesday Addams, Black Snake M---. Wait. too much again, right?

“True Blood” Gets Naked And Bloody For Rolling Stone (The Frisky)

Erika Mayshawn is just the right amount of cream for our coffee...and probably yours too (Freakshow Planet)

Featured Model: Stephanie Farris (Bullz-Eye)

XBOX Girls Get Revenge (College Humor)

Lindsey Lohan in Maxim September 2010 vs. Lindsey Lohan in Maxim September 2007 (BroBible)

ProStars: The Unseen Episodes (Sports Pickle)

The Five-Step Guide to Making Your Room Pop (The Campus Socialite)

Lingerie Football League Star Goes “Full Nerd” (Gunaxin)

Madison Scott Couldn't wait to get out of that bulky pink sun dress (Dailyniner)

Pre Season Football, The 1st Cousin of Non Alcoholic Beer (New York Pudding)

Jessica Hall is Toned, Tan, and ... um, wait.. what were we saying? (z0d)

8 of the Dirtiest Sexual Innuendos in Children's Cartoons (Asylum)

How Pam Anderson's lady parts are similar to M. Night Shyamalan (FilmDrunk)

I'M SORRY:
(So sorry the only women that you can pick up are hungover stragglers from last night's pool party)

Those cheerful guys in FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH were on Jimmy Kimmel Live playing their cover of "Bad Company"

For a cover song, it's not too shabby.... Download some FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH now, dammit.

Zakk Wylde and BLACK LABEL SOCIETY played The Roxy in Hollywood and of cousrse...

... Zakk did the obligatory masturbatory guitar solo midway through the song, "Fire It Up".

and from metal, we segue into mammaries...

Lovely little Ashlynn Brooke is an Oklahoma-born 'good egg':

Which is just another way of saying she has NO problem flinging her lace lingerie to the floor.

Shapely young Playboy hottie Robin Andersen has no need for pesky clothing:

After a boring-as-watching-grass-grow interview Robin finally gives us something to look at.

Speaking of PLABOY, You remember Victoria Silvstedt, don't you? You SHOULD. We just linked to her a few minutes ago. Sheesh.:

Victoria was Playboy's 1997 Playmate of the Year...and that, friends...is nothing to fling boogers at. She's STILL amazing looking, even at 35.

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to "Tattoos & Tequila" by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil's Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.


Click on Emi's very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you'd like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don't want any of that drunk-typing happening)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Poo-eating-Gorilla, New PIRANHA 3D trailer, Johnny Depp is a Boy Scout, Boring Bra on a Sexy Actress, New LIMP BIZKIT, ALICE COOPER and MEGADETH live, Alexis Texas, Katrin & Westy

Happy Mondee, everybuddy. Here's hoping you spent the weekend fornicating with a co-worker in a motel with lots of sex toys. If you didn't, then you're missing out, dagnabbit.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(just like the smell you leave behind when you walk out of a room)

Going to the zoo... Going to the zoo... Gonna watch a gorilla eat his poo...


and that's it for the educational portion of today's update.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

As if the first trailer wasn't mind-numbing enough, the second trailer for PIRANHA 3D will make your skin-crawl (but in a fun way):


Jam-packed with toothy fish, idiot college kids, and Doc Brown himself, Christopher Lloyd!.

Johnny Depp is a Goody Two-Shoes (WWTDD)


think 'Showgirls' .... 'Bound'... got it yet? No? You're a dipshit. (Drunken Stepfather)

Need Help? she apparently had a boob job to make her tiny boobs...less tiny... because why be obvious when you can be...subtle

'Iron Man 2' After Credits Scene Revealed [SPOILERS] (Comics Alliance)

Diana Doll is Damn sexy in her Green thong (Freakshow Planet)

Top 5 Light Beers (Bullz-Eye)

Vanessa Wade is a well-proportioned wife (Dailyniner)

Slave Leias Make For Sexiest Geek Car Wash Ever (Asylum)

Top 10 Movies Not To See With Your Parents (The Campus Socialite)

The 6 Greatest Movie Villains We Just Forgot About (UPROXX)

Nikki Benz is Blond, Buxom, Beautiful...and she's nekkid! (z0d)

The 20 Most Boobtastic Athletes Of All Time (Bleacher Report)

Creating Your Own Cockney Slang Words (FunnyCrave)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that there's no Nobel Prize for holding grudges...because you'd get it for sure!)

Finally (sarcasm intended)! Some new music from LIMP BIZKIT!:

Sounds like old LIMP BIZKIT...which is good if that's your thing.

Nice to see ALICE COOPER doing his thing on stage in Vancouver, and NOT breaking a hip:

ALICE COOPER and ROB ZOMBIE are on tour NOW! (click for tickets!)

We've said it before, but it's apparently true: MEGADETH is just as popular in Argentina as South American Hookers:

It's difficult to find something more popular than South American Hookers, wouldn't you say?

From Bands we move to booty...

Booty-tastic ALEXIS TEXAS - who has made more video than we can count is showing off her outstanding hiney on the stairs:

She's part German, and part Puerto Rican. Guess which part is Puerto Rican?

From Big Booty to Bigger Boobies...

Naturally-buxom Czech blondes Katerina Hartlova and Westy are playing a li'l game of indoor soccer:

We're much less interested in the dumb soccer game than the bisexual boob-fest that happens afterwards to be honest.

You like blondes, do ya Doc?

Why do we love sending out enormous old school FoundryMusic T-Shirts to our FOUNDRY CAMS girls? Because we love seeing what girls like Brooke and Sweet Victoria wind up doing with them. In this case, they made a vest and a miniskirt, respectively.
Thanks to our friends in FRAMING HANLEY for "Stupid Girl".

Click on Brooke blond locks, and stare wide-eyed at the screen for a while

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Drunk Drumming, New SPLICE Trailer, Chelsea Handler Sex Tape, Mystery Middle Aged Nippage, EXTREME's new Video, Brandy Robbins on Webcam, PLAYBOY's Julie Morse

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(just like your ace and hairline. Boy, are YOU in trouble)

Everyone meet Julio, the drunkest drummer EVER:


He's too drunk for drums..and that, folks...is a cryin' shame.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

While we weren't initially crazy about seeing SPLICE, the latest trailer is filled with Adrien Brody's Nosey Goodness:


Why do we have to reference Adrien Brody's Schnozz every time? Because we're fucking infants. That's why.

Chelsea Handler has a Sex Tape (WWTDD)

Wait, hold on a minute...the author of MY HORIZONTAL life has a Sex Tape???. We...umm, never saw this coming.


Whose Middle-aged well-maintained nips are poking out through this shirt? (Drunken Stepfather)

So what if she has lips like a blowfish? She looks great without her clothes on... and we're pigs so that's all that matters.

PRINCE OF PERSIA Trailer Gets LEGO-ized (MovieFone)

Jessica Jaymes is Just Jumping out of her Bikini (Freakshow Planet)

Splinter Cell: Conviction - Review (Bullz-Eye)

Nikki Benz is the kind of gal you'd like to buy a...Benz...for (Dailyniner)

Broke-Ass Marilyn Monroe -- Is It Porn? (Asylum)

25 Ridiculous Product Directions Protecting People From Themselves (TheBachelorGuy)

High Speed Footage Of Sh-t Blowing Up (UPROXX)

Christine Mercedes (insert forced luxury car reference here) is mostly naked on the bed... *drool* (z0d)

is this Chubby Baby Hosting an Alien? (Video Gone Viral)

Hey Mom!! Come take a picture of me for my metalhead friends! (College Humor)

The 20 Dirtiest Muppet Photos Of All Time (Manofest)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the chip on your shoulder is roughly the size of Mount Everest)

Our friends in EXTREME are reunited (that's not news) and they found a backyard full of people for their "King Of The Ladies" video:

The video is one of several bonuses on the band's new Take Us Alive CD/DVD, coming out in May.

from EXTREME songs to exrteme-ly large breasts...

Hooterific Brandy Robbins got a new webcam:

Apparenly, Brandy just figured out that guys like watching women strip on Webcam. We've known that for a while.

as long as we're looking at busty gals...

Buxom, curvy PLAYBOY babe Julie Morse is going to to school to be a teacher:

"but don't let her soft spoken ways fool you" is what her online bio says... Yeah, because that whole crawling-naked-on-the-table thing totally had us thrown for a loop.

You like blondes, do ya Doc?

Why do we love sending out enormous old school FoundryMusic T-Shirts to our FOUNDRY CAMS girls? Because we love seeing what girls like Brooke and Sweet Victoria wind up doing with them. In this case, they made a vest and a miniskirt, respectively.
Thanks to our friends in FRAMING HANLEY for "Stupid Girl".

Click on Brooke blond locks, and stare wide-eyed at the screen for a while

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Religious Girl Faints, Jenna Jameson is Nuts, Adrianne Curry Twitter Flashing, Piranha 3D Trailer, New Last Airbender Trailer, Jayme Langford, Claire Dames

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(just like your ace and hairline. Boy, are YOU in trouble)

Religious zealot at a secular school in Texas hits the deck during her preachy graduation speech:


...evidently God was too busy to catch her.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The one and only Richard Dreyfuss is going back to the water to battle angry fish in PIRANHA 3-D:


...only this time, he's bringing Jerry O'Connell, Ving Rhames, Elisabeth Shue, and Doc Brown himself...Christopher Lloyd.

Jenna Jameson is Insane and Always Has Been (WWTDD)

But come ON...We're not watching Jenna for stability...we're watching her get naked and bang. As long as we're being honest.


Adrianne Curry is flashing her cans on Twitter...again (Drunken Stepfather)

Which is no biggie because we have seen Adrianne Curry's boobs a bazillion times... or maybe you haven't? Eh, click it

First Look at Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow in Exclusive 'Iron Man 2' Clip (MovieFone)

Roxanna, you don't have to put on the red Light... but taking off your dress would be nifty (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Melissa Melendez (Bullz-Eye)

Cody Love just LOVES being naked...and there's nothing wrong with that (Dailyniner)

Iron Manly (starring Joe DeRosa) (atom)

The Seven Manliest Films From John Carpenter (Gunaxin)

The 10 Coolest Roadside Attractions in the US (Guyism)

Puma Swede is Pulling Up Her Purple Dress (z0d)

A Los Angeles Dodgers Hater Guide (FunnyCrave)

The Top 5 Hottest TV Poker Hosteses (The Bachelor Guy)

Hollywood Sign Saved by Naked Girls and Cocaine (FilmDrunk)

SEC Checks Itself In To Rehab Due To Porn Addiction (Apoliticus)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the chip on your shoulder is roughly the size of Mount Everest)

Danish hard rock? INDEED! PRETTY MAIDS still think it's 1989, apparently:

The band has been around for nineteen years... but they're Danish. So it's OK if you don't know who they are.

from bands to benders...

The latest trailer for M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender is filled with all kinds of CGI goodness:


...and it's filled with all kinds of bending... earth, air, fire water, all CGI and Bendy.

From airbending we move on to... bosoms!

Curvy adult starlet Claire Dames oiled up her booty for the kind folks at Big Wet Asses:

and you want the filthy? Check out the full, dirty, hardcore, oiled-up clip in BIG WET ASSES 16!

and from Bosoms, we move to MORE bosoms!

We're usually not big on redheaded girls, but Jayme Langford is the kind of gal we'd like to take out for a malted:

and then make a malted on her face because it looks like she's into that kind of thing.

Why do we love sending out enormous old school FoundryMusic T-Shirts to our FOUNDRY CAMS girls? Because we love seeing what girls like Brooke and Sweet Victoria wind up doing with them. In this case, they made a vest and a miniskirt, respectively.
Thanks to our friends in FRAMING HANLEY for "Stupid Girl".

Click on Brooke blond locks, and stare wide-eyed at the screen for a while

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.