Get your Holiday Body Back, Uncle Ted Nugent Selling Crazy, Gisele, FOUNDRY CAMS and FOUNDRY - together at last, Joe Satriani is God, Lemmy is God, Mike Portnoy is Good, Lana and Dawson are very topless

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Actually, it's NOT. But your inability to get your hefty ass off the couch IS. Move a little, why dontcha?)

The holiday season is just around the corner, and you can either look like this:


...Or you could get a little help from someone who knows what she's doing, and look like THIS:

Choose wisely, Chesterfield.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Old 'Uncle' TED NUGENT would seem a lot more sensible if he didn't sound so F-ing Crazy all the time:

Here's Nugent, kicking back on his porch, selling crazy to the Michigan news. Look at that face.

When he's not being nuts, he actually makes really great music... see?



Kim Kardashian is selling... toilet paper?? (Drunken Stepfather)

A job is a job, right Kim? Atta girl! Just like the 'blow' job you gave Ray J in that tape of yours a while back...just sayin'

Featured Model: Holly Lynn (Bullz-Eye)

Sunny Lane has a shiny landing strip...but not big enough for a plane. (FreakShow Planet)

Anita Dark and another clear case of "Shouldn't have even bothered to wear a bikini" (z0d)

Sophie Dee's Boobs make us want to breast-feed zoo animals. By 'zoo animals' we mean 'us' (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that one day the cops are going to have to knock a hole in your wall to get you out of the house, chunky-butt.)

His name is JOE SATRIANI ...and he plays guitar better than you and everyone who looks like you:

This is his new video for "Light Years away, off of his new CD Black Swans & Wormhole Wizards.

If you ever wanted to stare at a drummer's armpits for six minutes, now's your chance:


Drummer Mike Portnoy, who used to be in DREAM THEATER, but is currently touring with AVENGED SEVENFOLD, has a camera set up in front of his drum kit. Now you can drool over his sweaty armpits during every show.

God's greatest creation is probably women with big boobs. His SECOND greatest creation would have to be Lemmy Kilmister from MOTORHEAD:


We say this because two guys felt compelled enough about him to make an entire documentary about the man... and that link above is for the second teaser.

From Lemmy, we segue into Lickable Ladies... Nice transition, right?

Everyone...say hello to Ultra-busty Romanian Lana Ivans:

OK, you can pick your jaw up off the floor now because there's a LOT more of Lana to see... click it, dummy.

Don't you just hate when your workout pants are too tight? so does Dawson Miller:

She's out of those constricting pants faster than you can shout "Get Naked or I'll Kill Your whole family!" ... not that you WOULD... just sayin'

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Wednesday Links: Happy First Hump Day of 2010, Drunk Bus Driver and Screaming Kids, Rock Climbing Close Call, LEMMY: The Movie, Busty Babes Jaime Hammer, Bobbi Billard

It's the first hump-day of 2010, everyone is back at work, and the secretary down the hall is looking quite fetching

Whatcha waiting for, dummy? she's not sitting like that because she's asking you for the time. Secretaries have needs too, dammit!

THAT's TERRIBLE:

Just another day on the school bus...

Rolling backwards over mailboxes, into a ditch, with a dozen screaming kids. Yeah.

This rock climbing video will serve as incentive for all fat lazy bastards to STAY ON THE COUCH:

Falling rocks and shit. Helllls no, we won't go!

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:
(but your breath is, so brush your teeth, yuck-mouth)

PENTHOUSE sex columnist tells you how boys and girls how to stay fit. (MuscleSorority)

Mariah Carey drunk acceptance speech.
(Drunken Stepfather)

Jessica Jaymes is Just Juicy. Her boobs are, that is. (z0d)

2010 BCS Bowl Preview (Bullz-Eye)

Heather Vandeven and the luckiest front wedgie ever (Daily Niner)

Faceplant Off Truck (Break)

Angel Cassidy! We can see up your skirt... but we think you wanted us to (FreakshowPlanet)

PWN'D support group (CollegeHumor)

Remote Controlled Cooler: When You're Too Lazy to Walk to the Fridge (The Bachelor Guy)

Stay Away From YouTube Today (Heavy)

Saruman The White Makes A Metal Concept Album (GammaSquad)

10 Fictional Sporting Events We’d Pay Good Money to Attend (FunnyCrave)

20 Stupid Star Wars Character Names (Gunaxin)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you think your grudge-holding skills could win you a Nobel Prize. If the Swedes gave those out, that is.)

We think busty blond Bobbi Billard/a> has ashy skin. She's using so much lotion:

Oh, wait...shit. We get it. She LOVES the lotion and the slippery things she can do with it...and we love her for it.

Lusty, leggy, and busty Jaime Hammer is wearing a see-through pink bikini.

Why even bother with clothing at this point? she spends enough time naked feeling herself up as it is. Just go bikini-less next time, honey.

From leggy models to LEMMY MOTÖRHEAD frontman Lemmy Kilmister is the focus of an upcoming documentary:

If you don't see this movie, you should be beaten with Lemmy's boil. It's going to debut at SXSW in Austin, Texas this March.

Wanda from FOUNDRY CAMS is welcoming in the New Year with some tunes from our buddies in DIRTFEDD.

CLICK THE PIC TO WATCH WONDERFUL WANDA

Take a break from hitting on the lonely MILF next door, and recap what we added to the MEDIA SECTION, including:

LEMMY: The Movie - Teaser Trailer
Jaime Hammer In a See-Through Pink Bikini
Caught On Video: Mountain Hiking Close Call
Bobbi Billard Rubs Lotion All Over Her Body
Drunk School Bus Driver takes kids on a Bumpy Ride
Carol Goldnerova Bails on Her Blue Bra

These are some of the many social networking programs we're linked up with, so JOIN US, won't you?

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FRIEND FEED: FoundryMusic
Break.com: NSFW videos (we put all the dirty vids in one location)
LiveVideo: FoundryMusic (updated daily)

 

Posted via web from foundry's posterous

Wednesday Links: Mid-Week Affair and the Dancing Bear, Motorcycle Mash-Up, Joe Perry Live, New OZZY Documentary, Russian babe fest with Merilyn Sakova

It's hump day, kids... so start humping, dammit. Those boobs aren't going to fondle themselves, you know.



Well she might fondle them BY herself, but that's not as much fun as having an affair with the busty co-worker in the next cubicle, now is it?

By the way, if your woman tells you she's going out with the girls... watch out for the Dancing Bear.



Check her clothes for fur fragments when she gets home, buster.

THAT's TERRIBLE:

Don't worry mister motorcycle man, that STOP sign doesn't apply to you:




...unless there's another motorcycle man on the other side of the intersection.

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(But your condescending mouth is, so shut up before someone nails your lips shut)



Aubrey O'Day and Holly Madison Go Topless in Vegas (Drunken Stepfather)... and here's Holly Madison Getting naked on film!



Saantha Ryan Can't stop touching herself (Daily Niner)



Glamor Girl: Reagen (Bullz-Eye)



Cindy Hope...Hopes there's no one looking in her backyard with a telescope (z0d)



Five supplies you should steal from work (Illuminati)



Naughty Schoolgirl Ashlyn Page messes up the library (Freakshow Planet)



“I’m with Stupid” – Cartoon Edition (Gunaxin)



Signs you are trick-or-treating at a swinger's house (Illuminati)



A Definitive Guide To Combovers (Yep Yep)



Nicole Eggert is...Chubby! Nooooooo! (Don Chavez)



Legend of Neil, Season 2, Ep. 5 (atom)

YouTube’s 5 Best Parkour Fails (Nextround)



The 10 Hottest Celebrity Sports Wives and Girlfriends (Bleacher Report)



This Week In Clothed Animal Commericals (Warming Glow)






I'M SORRY:

(Actually, we're not sorry. You suck at life, and you'll die lonely and broke)

Busty Russian beauty Merilyn Sakova can't seem to find clothes that fit:



Well, she CAN. She just chooses to wear tiny bikinis. We don't mind one bit.

Russian babes are the flavor of the day, and Honey is finger-licking good:



Honey is also about to get DP'ed by two gentlemen, so we hope she has lots o' lube.

While AEROSMITH takes a li'l break, Mr Joe Perry is rocking the solo gigs, like this one in Plymouth, Mass:



Walk This Way, fuckstick.

The Prince of Fucking Darkness, OZZY OSBOURNE will be the focus of a new documentary, produced by his son, Jack:



Newly sober, and reflective as hell. He's Ozzy, bitches.

Boobies and milk! It's Anya from Polish Busty washing her milk jugs in a bathtub full of ...milk:



Why even bother with clothes?

Now let's all lust after the ladies of FOUNDRY CAMS, like Maiya, Sweet Victoria, Kyra, and a slew of others grinding their asses in a Grinhouse-style tribute to our buds in SCUM OF THE EARTH:





CLICK ON MAIYA, DAMN YOU!

(and now to recap... for the people with the attention span of sparrows. US included.)

Hold off on sleeping with your friend's wife and lookee what we added to the MEDIA SECTION:



OZZY OSBOURNE - 'Wreckage Of My Past' - Trailer

Hot Russian Blond Babe Honey Shows Off Her Tight Body

Double Motorcycle Collision at Intersection

Anya Washes Her Massive Boobs In Milk

JOE PERRY PROJECT: 'Walk This Way' LIVE in Plymouth, MA

Busty Merilyn in a Tiny Black Bikini

These are some of the many social networking programs we're linked up with, so JOIN US, won't you?


Zannel: FoundryMusic

Facebook: FoundryMusic

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Twitter: FoundryMusic (you can get updates to your cell phone here as well)

MySpace: FoundryMusic

NING: FoundryMusic

FRIEND FEED: FoundryMusic

Break.com: NSFW videos (we put all the dirty vids in one location)

LiveVideo: FoundryMusic (updated daily)