Your mom on a Lamborghini, Making money like a Rock Star, OZZY vs Ghoul Attorney, Kim Kardashian's Arse (again), New DEF LEPPARD single, Mary Carey

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Stranded MILF needs help, BRET MICHAELS loves his Ford, FAST FIVE teaser trailer, JOE SATRIANI live in NYC, WITHIN TEMPTATION and Natalee Holloway, Lisa Ann, Rachel Starr, Nikki Benz, Sabrina Maree

What better way to introduce yourself to a lovely lady than assisting a MILF with her car...which is stuck in a half inch of water:

It's one of those little opportunities that don't come along very often. Her old man is nowhere in sight and she's looking for any help she can get... There's your in!

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your general state of health, you elephant. There's a busy highway. Go for a walk.)

As we have stated in the past, BRET MICHAELS is a friend of ours, but sometimes you just have to bust your friend's balls:

Especially when they show up in commercials like this one.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Holy crap. Could you possibly fit any more testosterone or explosions into the trailer for FAST FIVE?

Paul Walker and Vin Diesel get chased by The Rock...err, Dwayne Johnson in the fifth installment of FAST & FURIOUS MOVIES.

Pamela Anderson's billionth PLAYBOY cover (Drunken Stepfather)

Umm... we like the younger version that used to make lots of spontaneous sex tapes... but that's just us.

PLAYBOY's Celest Dimarco is one hot...um.. uh... wow, totally derailed (FreakShow Planet)

The Ultimate Gift Guide for the Well Dressed Man (the Bachelor Guy)

Bullz-Eye 2010 Year-End TV Review (Bullz-Eye)

Blake and Joanna were at a wedding, but got distracted (z0d)

Sasha Cane is our (and we're willing to bet yours too) kind of candy (Dailyniner)

Munchie The Agent: Aurora Snow (atom)

The 50 Hottest Magazine Photo Shoots of 2010 (BroBible)

TRUpidity - Test your Stupid Skills. Play Dumb (TruTV)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you think you have a soul in that bloated body of yours. It's long gone, sweetness.)

Do you know JOE SATRIANI?

Well why the hell not? This is him, on stage in New York City playing "Summer Song" with John Petrucci of DREAM THEATER (err, what's left of it).

Moving on to the slightly heavier, and slightly more obscure, this is the new video from WITHIN TEMPTATION for the song "Where is the Edge" and it features footage from the film "Me & Mr Jones":

...as in "Where is the Edge" ...of the cliff Natalee Holloway's body was pitched off? What? Too much?

Bring on the Girls!!!

Bikini-clad Lisa Ann is consoling Rachel Starr the way all of us should be consoled...

by a topless, bikini-bottom-wearing adult starlet who would transform the process into a threesome ... As she SHOULD, dag nabbit!

Naughty Nikki Benz has a new clear plastic toy:

...and we don't mean a clear plastic barbie doll either Not unless they make Barbie dolls shaped like penises now.

Oh lord... Sabrina Maree is taking her shirt off...again:

Buy Why? It's not like she's got a sex toy lying around to play with uncontrollably... Oh wait... yes she DOES.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Get your Holiday Body Back, Uncle Ted Nugent Selling Crazy, Gisele, FOUNDRY CAMS and FOUNDRY - together at last, Joe Satriani is God, Lemmy is God, Mike Portnoy is Good, Lana and Dawson are very topless

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Actually, it's NOT. But your inability to get your hefty ass off the couch IS. Move a little, why dontcha?)

The holiday season is just around the corner, and you can either look like this:


...Or you could get a little help from someone who knows what she's doing, and look like THIS:

Choose wisely, Chesterfield.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Old 'Uncle' TED NUGENT would seem a lot more sensible if he didn't sound so F-ing Crazy all the time:

Here's Nugent, kicking back on his porch, selling crazy to the Michigan news. Look at that face.

When he's not being nuts, he actually makes really great music... see?



Kim Kardashian is selling... toilet paper?? (Drunken Stepfather)

A job is a job, right Kim? Atta girl! Just like the 'blow' job you gave Ray J in that tape of yours a while back...just sayin'

Featured Model: Holly Lynn (Bullz-Eye)

Sunny Lane has a shiny landing strip...but not big enough for a plane. (FreakShow Planet)

Anita Dark and another clear case of "Shouldn't have even bothered to wear a bikini" (z0d)

Sophie Dee's Boobs make us want to breast-feed zoo animals. By 'zoo animals' we mean 'us' (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that one day the cops are going to have to knock a hole in your wall to get you out of the house, chunky-butt.)

His name is JOE SATRIANI ...and he plays guitar better than you and everyone who looks like you:

This is his new video for "Light Years away, off of his new CD Black Swans & Wormhole Wizards.

If you ever wanted to stare at a drummer's armpits for six minutes, now's your chance:


Drummer Mike Portnoy, who used to be in DREAM THEATER, but is currently touring with AVENGED SEVENFOLD, has a camera set up in front of his drum kit. Now you can drool over his sweaty armpits during every show.

God's greatest creation is probably women with big boobs. His SECOND greatest creation would have to be Lemmy Kilmister from MOTORHEAD:


We say this because two guys felt compelled enough about him to make an entire documentary about the man... and that link above is for the second teaser.

From Lemmy, we segue into Lickable Ladies... Nice transition, right?

Everyone...say hello to Ultra-busty Romanian Lana Ivans:

OK, you can pick your jaw up off the floor now because there's a LOT more of Lana to see... click it, dummy.

Don't you just hate when your workout pants are too tight? so does Dawson Miller:

She's out of those constricting pants faster than you can shout "Get Naked or I'll Kill Your whole family!" ... not that you WOULD... just sayin'

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Drunk on a city bench, Crab Vending Machine, the Origin of Scorpion, FOUNDRY on Sports TV, Karissa Shannon is sloppy-sexy, Satriani LIVE in London Megadeth and SLAYER, New Foundry Cams Video

After striking out at the bars all night you spot this lovely on a city bench...

hey boyfriend dumped her ass there and left her... she's RIGHT where you need her to be, fella. Now scoop her up and bring a puke rag

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but your perfectioninst bullshit really is. Flawlessness must me SUCH a burden)

...and topping the list of shit we're NEVER going to eat from a vending machine...

LIVE CRAB. NEVER.

Are you one of the gazillions of people who wonder about the backstory of Scorpion from MORTAL KOMBAT?

Well you're not alone. This fire-breathing spear-chucker wasn't always such a meanie. MORTAL KOMBAT: Scorpion is coming soon!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Talk about ego-stroking-AWESOME...'Pendulum' from FOUNDRY 'Retooled' showed up on TV the other night:

Thanks to the guys at Monday Evening Quarterback for having excellent taste in music...

Now, the REAL question is ... DO YOU have Awesome taste in music?
FOUNDRY: Retooled EP - on Sale now!


Karissa Shannon is Bloated and Sloppy (Drunken Stepfather)

But that shouldn't stop you...from buying the just-released 'Karissa Shannon Superstar' sex tape


Nice, right? CLICK IT!!

Top 49 Men of 2010 (Ask Men)

Erin Montgomery Enjoys Rubbing her nude body. We wouldn't mind rubbing it either (z0d)

Georgia Jones is not remotely shy about showing off her hairless peach (Dailyniner)

Top Ten NFL Douchebags (Top Ten NFL Douchebags)

Amy Reid has really big boobs...and a small bikini...and really big boobs (Freakshow Planet)

Heat Vision and Jack: The Greatest Show That Never Was (FunnyCrave)

Iron Man Classic Pinball for Your Dude Den (The Bachelor Guy)

Sexy Vampirenes at Bran Castle (Bullz-Eye)

Scarlett Johansson Photo Gallery (ForkParty)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your gums don't stop flapping long enough for you to hear some common sense every once in a while)

Our guitar-shredding bald-headed pal JOE SATRIANI is on tour now click for tickets and this footage comes right out of London:

Satch is out promoting Black Swans & Wormhole Wizards.

Don't be an ass. Pick up Satch's new disc.

On the final night of the Jägermeister Fall Music Tour MEGADETH brought out SLAYER (and former-MEGADETH) guitarist Kerry King on stage:

...to play "Rattlehead" which they hadn't played in 26 years... who wants to bet some guys were practicing for a while?

The teaser trailer for Wes Craven's latest SCREAM sequel is online:

SCREAM re-defined the horror genre... will SCREAM 4 ruin it? I guess we'll see

Metal, Horror Movies...and BOOBIES!

ALL-American beauty Alexis Texas has to free herself from her constrictive bra:

So that she may diddle freely without that bulky lingerie getting in the way Diddle Alexis! Diddle Alexis until your hands go numb!

Busty Kelley Scarlett is half Trinidadian and half Irish, and if her boobs were any bigger, she'd be walking around bent over.

Watch what happens when Kelley loses that pesky pink top only at I Love Bitties!

Chad Smith (RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, CHICKENFOOT) and his funk-rock band, CHAD SMITH's BOMBASTIC MEATBATS (Jeff Kollman, Kevin Chown, Ed Roth, and of course, Chad Smith) just dropped a new album titled 'More Meat' and they were saintly enough to give us the track "The Gunboat is On!"... we thought it only appropriate to have our own brown-haired, brown-eyed, BISEXUAL FOUDNRY CAMS babe Natasha do up a video for them. What you see here, folks, is the fruits of that



Click Natasha's Nicely-formed Hiney. then regain your composure and click on on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Natasha LIVE...and Naked... (YOU naked, HER naked, it's all good)
Of course, once you cool off a little, carry your carcass on over to FOUNDRY CAMS where you can chat with Natasha LIVE on cam for hours on end.

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.