Chubby gals need love too, Nic Cage's New Movie, METALLICA Guitarist plays soccer with kid's face, Lemmy Knows How to Die, RATT knows how to fade into obscurity, Corey Taylor knows how to dress like a woman

OK, we'll be realists for a moment... not every gal you meet online is going to be a winner...

But who gives a shit? the bigger gals DO try harder. And YES, we're proud to say we know from experience.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(But your sense of aim really sucks. How hard IS it to blow your brains out when you're drunk?)

What do you get when you give Kirk Hammett from METALLICA a big black beach ball?

You get to see him use a little kid in Australia for a goal post. SCORE!

The band is out promoting Metallica/Slayer/Megadeth/Anthrax: The Big 4 - Live from Sofia, Bulgaria, which by the way, we just ordered.
THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:
OK, We lied. It IS...

Is seems that NICOLAS CAGE has gone and made another film no one is going to care about:

Meh, it's OK... They can't ALL be GHOST RIDER...and yes that movie RULED!

Heels, Stockings, Nice ass. Anyone want to guess? (Drunken Stepfather)

Well friends, if you saw her in CHLOE, you don't need to

Featured Model: Allegra Wynne (Bullz-Eye)

Nikki Jayne knows how to wear...and NOT wear...shorts (FreakShow Planet)

Honestly, will someone tell Susana Spears to just not even bring clothing next time? (z0d)

Shera Bechard knows a thing or three about showering (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Someday... Love will find you... break those chains that...oh wait, no it won't, asshole.)

Lemmy, MOTORHEAD, and all of his face bumps want you to check out "I Know How To Die", which is (we think) based on his ability to consume Jack Daniels:

They're about to release the face-bumping-fest The World Is Yours, which we ordered the the classic rock version of.

Yes, because we're SNOBS.

That's it. Corey Taylor from STONE SOUR is officially the Ugliest. Tranny. Ever:

Then again, it was a halloween show. They're out promoting Audio Secrecy to the legions of lunatics. Us being some of them.

You know, RATT used to be able to fill arenas ... like 20 years ago:

Now they're in New York, playing on the smallest. stage... EVER. However, Infestation did sell a decent amount of copies.

AND from RATT we move to RACKS!

Her namme is JEWELS JADE and she's enjoying some vibrator time in the sauna:

Normally we wouldn't be so concerned but please watch your fluids, madam

To say that Nikki Benz has big boobs is a bit of an understatement.

But they're damn big and she seems to have to hold them up a lot.

Her name is Carmen Croft and she's soaping up her huge Czech boobs in the shower.

That, friends...is ALL the information you need

Holy Indian Hotness Priya Anjali Rai is showing her objection to biknis publicly by stripping hers off.

Away with you, vile bikini! There's diddling to be done!

Chad Smith (RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, CHICKENFOOT) and his funk-rock band, CHAD SMITH's BOMBASTIC MEATBATS (Jeff Kollman, Kevin Chown, Ed Roth, and of course, Chad Smith) just dropped a new album titled 'More Meat' and they were saintly enough to give us the track "The Gunboat is On!"... we thought it only appropriate to have our own brown-haired, brown-eyed, BISEXUAL FOUDNRY CAMS babe Natasha do up a video for them. What you see here, folks, is the fruits of that



Click Natasha's Nicely-formed Hiney. then regain your composure and click on on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Natasha LIVE...and Naked... (YOU naked, HER naked, it's all good)
Of course, once you cool off a little, carry your carcass on over to FOUNDRY CAMS where you can chat with Natasha LIVE on cam for hours on end.

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Fear Factory Bus Fire, Mystery MILF Ass-Scratch, SOUNDGARDEN plays a Chicago Club, Bret Michaels vs. Promoter, Latina Foundry Cams Hotness, Prinzzess Felicity Jade

Hooray! You made it through another week! Celebrate by spending the weekend sans-pants with a room full of married women

Screw nightclubs. at least with a swinger party you know what you're getting into. and who you're getting into. Get it? eh?.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Almost as terrible as your breath, clothes and hairline. It's a trifecta of 'Awful' Poolboy!)

The poor bastards in FEAR FACTORY got to watch their tour bus burst into flames on the way to London airport:

The band is just fine. Everything on the bus? Eh, not so much.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Which MILF pop-star mess is scratching her ass? (Drunken Stepfather)

Hint, Hint, Hint, Hint... *cough* went batshit crazy and shaved her head, lost custody of her kids to her chubby husband *cough*... Too much? Yeah, we suck at hints.

The 7 Richest Criminals In History (Celebrity Net Worth)

The 20 Most Intimidating Fictional Sharks of All Time (Brobibile)

Five More Yogi Bear Poster Taglines (Heavy)

PLAYBOY's Anastasia Christen has mastered the art of getting naked while balancing on rickety furniture (Freakshow Planet)

Lollapalooza 2010 Live Blog (Bullz-Eye)

8 Star Wars Pickup Lines - "there is no handjob." (Dorkly)

When Shawna Lenee isn't going batshit crazy, she looks really great naked (Dailyniner)

Passing on a Sports Team (Ask Men)

Nina James is Tight, Tattooed, and ...um, what were we saying? (z0d)


I'M SORRY:
(So sorry you have yet to develop a skill set beyond that of a shit-shoveler)

Reunited Alterna-Grunge rockheads SOUNDGARDEN dusted off their flanel and played a tiny club in Chicago the other night:

They're playing Lollapalooza on Sunday AND they have a brand new record coming out in September.

Our buddy our pal, Bret Michaels is on tour now (click for tickets)... but he had to bail on a Syracuse show:

Why? Because the bulky bastard promoter bounced a check or two...or three.

from bands we've met... to boobs we'll never get near...

Florida-born beauty Prinzzess Felicity Jade can't wait to get out of that pesky white lingerie:

How could you blame her, really? if you had a body like hers you'd be feeling yourself up non-stop...and if you disagree, you're LYING.

What do we know about fantastic-assed Monica?

Not a whole lot, to be honest. She does, however, need very little convincing to get nude and get sloppy with a lucky fella. Big Ass Adventure, indeed!.

Janelle is a curvy, 23 year-old Latina with exotic green eyes DD-sized breasts, and an ass-tastic hiney that fits perfectly in a tiny thong. We sent Janelle one of our HUGE old-school FoundryMusic T-Shirts, and she wore it for a few seconds, then tossed it aside in favor of fishnet stockings and pink panties. We have ZERO objection to this behavior, and we'll continue to encourage it.
Thanks to our Boston boys in EXTREME for the song "King of the Ladies".



Click the pic. Rub your...(oh, now that's just not neccessary, is it?) then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Janelle LIVE (she'll be wearing next-to-nothing. You wear whatever the hell you want, amigo)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Drunken Finnish Pronunciation, More Mel Gibson Audio Goodness, Katie Price's New Face, ANTHRAX and SLAYER jam AC/DC, SKID ROW in Minnesota, Caroline Cage Loves Soccer, and Dominno Loves Bananas

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not half as terrible as your halitosis. Have a mint, dragon-breath)

And now, a drunk, toothless Finnish man is going to demonstrate how to properly prounounce American auto names:

Ahh, so THAT's how you pronounce "Chrysler". We were doing it wrong the whole time.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Whoopi Defends Mel Gibson (WWTDD)

ooh lookie! There's a THIRD Mel Gibson Audio Clip online! (Radar Online)


Katie Price Shows Off Her New Face (Drunken Stepfather)

Personally, we're fans of The good old Katie Price Sex Tape... otherwise we'd have no idea who she is.

19 Facts You May Not Have Known About the 'Star Wars' Universe (Asylum)

Eight Inexpensive Things Repurposed for Something Awesome (UPROXX)

Veronica Ricci must have an Itchy Bra... because she pulls it off very quickly (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Taylor O'Connor (Bullz-Eye)

Video: Terrell Owens Gets Dunked On At The Rucker Park In Harlem (Real Talk NY)

Crazy Costco Charlie Will Make You Sample His Samples, Like it or Not (URLesque)

How To Fix Your Mom’s Computer Over the Phone (Flowchart) (Windowless Van)

Heather Vandeven is pulling back her Bikini and touching herself on a lucky inflatable chair (Dailyniner)

The Empire Strikes Back in MS Paint [GIF] (egoTV)

Alena and Anna Get Awfully Friendly and Frisky Awfully Quickly (z0d)

How To Propose to Your Girlfriend (FunnyCrave)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your hopes and dreams have been crushed like so many empty beer cans)

So. Very. Metal. ANTHRAX and SLAYER, who will be touring together on the AMERICAN CARNAGE tour jammed backstage in Europe on some classic AC/DC:

...and on vocals... Dave Mustaine's guitar tech Willie G. Wait, who? Exactly.

Our friends in SKID ROW are touring non-stop (click for tickets and tour dates), and here's a gig in Oakdale, Minnesota (wait, where?):

This is what happens when you play "Monkey Business for the billionth time, apparently. You do a massive guitar breakdown in the middle of the song.

From relatively big bands... to relatively bouncing...boobs:

We've shown you sexy Czech babe Dominno before:

But this is the first time (to our knowledge) that she's fellating a banana... lucky banana.

Her name is Caroline Cage, and she's a huge Soccer fan... so huge, that in honor of the World Cup, she's painted herself up like the Dutch soccer team:

Once she's done giving that soccer ball a rim job ...she's going to be cleaning paint out of her cooter for a month.

aaaaand what would an update from us be without a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS shaking her ass to rock music, which happens to be from DROWNING POOL this time:


Stare into Shanelle's eyes... only for a moment, then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Shanelle LIVE...and nekkid (her, not you...genius)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.