Drunk Cab Fight, Beaten & Run Over, Jessica Simpson on Entourage, Christina Nude in GQ, Video Preview of OZZY's new CD, SLASH and Adam Levine LIVE, Booty and Boobies with Alexis Texas and Rachel Aldana

Happy Wednesday, or 'Hump day' as the Swedes refer to it as... so stop making copies of your assistant's ass and bring her to a motel

After all what is 'Hump Day' without 'Humping'?...Exactly. It's boring.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Like the lingering stench of body odor and farts you leave behind in every room)

Drunk guys start fight for the dumbest reasons...


...and sometimes in the dumbest places... like a taxi cab.

Getting your ass kicked + Getting Run Over + Getting it videotaped and thrown all over the internet...


...is pretty much the 'Trifecta of Embarrassing'... what a lousy day this guy is having.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Jessica Simpson Taped a Scene in 'Entourage' (WWTDD)

oofah... remember when Jessica slimmed down for 'Dukes of Hazzard'?...good times.


Christina Naked in GQ...thank you. (Drunken Stepfather)

Even though Christina's Never Been Shy about Showing off her body before, she's a MILF now...

Top 10 Things Not To Say During A One Night Stand (The Campus Socialite)

16 Reasons Why Sports and Music Should Not Procreate (UPROXX)

PLAYBOY's Teri Harrison is Totally Naked on the Kitchen Counter...hopefully it was cleaned first (Freakshow Planet)

Gisele Bundchen poses for the Hope lingerie company (Celebrity Teaser)

Amber Nicole... Two Great Names and Two Great Ta-Ta's (Dailyniner)

10 singers in successful bands who really aren’t all that good (Guyism)

A Practical Guide to Hiding Your Friend’s Porn Stash (FunnyCrave)

Koopa's Hell (College Humor)

Nichole Heiress Inherited a Whole Pile of Sexy (z0d)

15 Of the Best Film Bullies (Gunaxin)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that there isn't a toothpaste strong enough to clean those awful teeth of yours)

Our buddy our pal OZZY OSBOURNE has released a five minute-long video preview of his upcoming album Scream (click to pre-order!):

'Scream' will be released on June 22, but you can pre-order online now

The Ellen Degeneres Show was actually watchable the other day. SLASH and Adam Levine from MAROON 5 made a li'l appearance:

SLASH's new album is available now, and it's got more guest appearances than a Jerry Lewis Telethon! (oh MAN that was a bad one)

From Rocks to Racks...

Ass-tastic adult starlet Alexis Texas is oiling up that masterpiece hiney of hers:

And oiling it up is only the foreplay to the ass-pounding she gets in BIG WET ASSES 14 on-demand now!

Busty British Bombshell Rachel Aldana is sporting the luckiest sweater EVER:

and we mean that it's very tight and her L-Cup Boobs blast out of it FAST, thereby making it 'Lucky'.

and since we like shameless self-promotion as much as the next fella

Here's Samantha in one of our official FoundryMusic T-Shirts shaking her ass to "Satisfied" by SOCIAL CODE:

CLICK THE PIC TO SEE SAMANTHA's SEXY STRIP!
(well it almost rhymes)

Then, when you have some motor function back... chat with Samantha LIVE, one-on-one, on her cam!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Monday Links: Car Crash Fixes Headlight, Bar Rafaeli in a Bikini, Jessica Simpson Boob Grab, New FEAR FACTORY video, OVERKILL live in Spain

THAT's TERRIBLE:

When is the last time you saw a head-on collision FIX a busted headlight?




There's a first time for everthing, apparently...

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(but that face of yours, however...IS. Get rid of it, please)





Jessica Simpson Got Her Boob Grabbed (Drunken Stepfather)





Bar Refaeli and her Perfect Body in a Bikini in Mexico (WWTDD)



From the Big Screen to the Small Screen: TV Series Inspired By Movies (Bullz-Eye)



AJ Bailey is Bare-assed on the Balcony...Braaavo! (FreakshowPlanet)



Get the Girl: Nice Guys vs. Assholes (The Campus Throne)



Diana Doll could do some damage with those big ass boots (z0d)



6 Reasons Eating Healthier Meat Can Keep Your Meat Healthier (The Bachelor Guy)



Charlie Laine...guy name...definitely not a guy body. Wowzer (Dailyniner)



10 Recorded Instances Of Monkeys Sexually Assaulting Lesser Creatures (UPROXX)



Exclusive Interview with Uwe Boll (FunnyCrave)



57 Seconds of Abuse (atom)



'LOST' and 'HEROES' hate Black People (Comedy)






I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that your lack of a basic skill set will have you sucking off others for years to come.)

Do you think the guys in FEAR FACTORY were optimistic about MTV playing the video for "Fear Campaign?"



Perhaps... the whole Nazi-dog-yelling-at-naked-guy thing might have been a bit much.

Keeping with the metal theme, our buds in OVERKILL have a new album out, and they're touring in Europe:



This was shot in Barcelona, and Bobby "Blitz" Ellsworth needs a sammich... or three.

Pretty Priya Anjali Rai is the sexiest Indian woman we have ever seen:



AAaaaaand she does all that hardcore stuff you wish your girl would do...which is such a bonus.

Proving that the hottest women come from everywhere EXCEPT the U.S., check out Hungarian hotness Aletta Ocean as she rids herself of her bulky bikini:



It just gets in the way of all the suggin and the fuggin...

Flawless young PLAYBOY babe Jamie Graham is showing off her nude body by the window:



Now if that noisy asswipe cameraman would just shut the fuck up, we could get down to bidness...

Busty, blond, BISEXUAL Femme, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos, fires up her fantastic body in this new clip with music by George Lynch (ex-DOKKEN) and our buds in LYNCH MOB:







CLICK ON FEMME's BEAUTIFUL BISEXUAL BODY...and have a bib handy

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.