Drunk Russian Lady in Garbage, Ted Williams Auto-Tuned, Winona Ryder's Cleavage, Nikki Sixx's New Book, Steven Tyler & Jimmy Fallon, Heather Summers sucks at Sudoku

Someone better tell this gal she forgot to put a shirt on:

Ah, wait... it's intentional. she must be one of them 'promiscuous' types...we never seem to get enough of them.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Baby it's cold outside...but you don't have to worry because you weigh 300 lbs)

what's that noise coming from the garbage chute?

Oh nothing. It's just a sobbing drunk Russian lady. Warning: Ugly Russian breast ahead.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your general state of health IS...)

Golden-voiced Ted Williams loves his Mommy evidently:

Thanks to our pal Dru Boogie for this amazing auto-tuned remix.

Because we're mean-spirited... we give you... Winona Ryder's cleavage! (Drunken Stepfather)

and because we're good-natured...here's Winona Ryder's naked body.. of course, depending on who you are, this could also go under 'mean-spirited'.

Eight Legendary Drinking Binges that Only Celebrities Could Have Gotten Away With (The Smoking Jacket)

Jenna is wearing shoes with heels SO big, you have to wonder how she doesn't knock herself out with 'em (FreakShow Planet)

Ten QB-needy teams that passed on Aaron Rodgers in the 2005 draft (Scores Report)

Kristen Bennet is the kind of topless brunette in pink panties you can bring home to Momma (Dailyniner)

Nella Jay has awful argyle socks. Thank God she looks great topless, because those socks are really distracting (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't eat frosting for every meal, tubb-o)

Nikki Sixx has a new book coming out called This Is Gonna Hurt: Music, Photography and Life Through the Distorted Lens of Nikki Sixx and SIXX A.M. is releasing an album to go along with it:

Nikki likes taking photographs of wheelchair-bound transsexuals, apparently. Yeah, but who doesn't? Amiright? Amiright?

Steven Tyler (sans AEROSMITH) went on Jimmy Fallon's show the other night to promote his gig as a judge on American Idol, and wound up performing "Walk this Way" with Fallon and THE ROOTS:

... and the song sounded exactly the same. AEROSMITH? Wait, who? When? What?

From kinda smart musicians to kinda dumb blondes...

Heather Summers kinda sucks at Sudoku:

Thank goodness her boobs are huge, otherwise this would be an enormous waste of time.

Speaking of the boobies which are huge:

19 year-old Czech brunette seems to have been trampled by a small woodland creature:

Look at the paw prints on her stomach! What vile miniature creature could have done such a thing?!?!



...and that, as they say, is that. Now go enjoy the day and try not to offend anyone with your horrendous stench...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Wacky Woman Witness, New 'BURIED' trailer, Axl storms off stage AGAIN, Awesome Acoustic Metallica, Sara Stone & Kelly Madison Topless, Angie Savage has her fingers in her mouth

It's the end of the week, and the start of a long-as-hell weekend (for some) so spend it with an experienced older woman you barely know messing up a hotel room... and we don't mean dropping candy on the floor, either

Silly boy, adultery is for adults. Stealing your parents' smut is for kids. Yeah, we're a wonderful influence

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as horrible as the situation you're about to find yourself in, drunkard. Vaya con Dios!)

A Gas station convenience store in Kansas City was almost robbed the other day:

...but the most interesting part of the story was this whacked-out lady who told her story to KMBC Channel 9.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Because it's our God-given right, we're going to plug this one more time It's the first original animation from the fine folks at gear-logo central...FOUNDRYTOONS... or FMTOONS for short

Meet Fuzz Buttrock and Hooks the Gorilla in Episode 1: Kitty Littered!

You can also watch it on YouTube


and because we're just SO...GODDAMN...TALENTED, let's give it up one more time for RETOOLED!

Thanks to our production genius buddy Rich DeCicco and guitar virtuoso Rob Balducci, We present to you RETOOLED - totally revamped versions of those classic FOUNDRY songs.


See? We even updated the cover art... now click it!


Whose fantastic ass could this be in some movie we've never heard of? (Drunken Stepfather)

We promise we won't ruin it by saying something like "Good luck Chuck" or "Fantastic 4"... oh no. We wrecked it again

Ten TV Shows You Never Knew Existed (Gunaxin)

Diana Dagota. Sounds Exotic. Looks Erotic. We're Psychotic. (Freakshow Planet)

Fall Movie Preview (Bullz-Eye)

Simona is all about cleanliness. Here she is, taking a shower. outside. with people watching (z0d)

Brandon Jennings Goes All Ga-Ga [Video] (The Hoop Doctors)

Oh Jessica Marie, Why Won't you look at me. Oh that's right. You're hot. (Dailyniner)

The Man Who Licked Princess Leia: An Interview With Jabba the Hutt Puppeteer Toby Philpott (inside Movies)

Facebook Founder Whines About His Privacy, Poor Baby (Gamma Squad)

When Stallone Met Twitter - Part 2 (Film Drunk)

Hilarious STFU Jesus Motivational Comics (Fork Party)

Ten Import Models to Look Out for at Car Shows This Year (Sub5Zero)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you're about to wreck the ONE semi-solid relationship you still have in your life)

Hey Look! Axl Rose and GUNS N' ROSES walked out on stage late...AGAIN. Fans threw bottes...AGAIN...

Aaaand Axl had a fit and stormed off stage...AGAIN.

This husky fella is Russian guitarist Igor Presnyakov:

He's playing the most baddest-ass version of METALLICA's "Fade To Black" you'll ever hear.

From friggin' amazing guitar players to fokkered up film trailers

Here's the new trailer for the Ryan Reynolds claustrophobia-fest BURIED:

If you're not fond of tight spaces, this movie should have you hyperventilating in NO time.

Don't you go anywhere, madam! We have BOOBIES to show you!

Breastacular Kelly Madison and Sara Stone do their civic duty and haul out their huge boobs:

You can watch the full scene in the epic film Big Natural Titties 5 - on DVD, of course.

Young, impressionable busty blond Angie Savage is home, all alone, jamming her fingers down her throat:

Goodness golly, we hope she's not bulimic. Oh wait. She's not. We're completely missing the point.

21 year-old Breanna (aka BreannaRose) makes her FOUNDRY CAMS debut in this eye-popping topless video which features (of course) Breanna, one of our old-school, ripped up FoundryMusic T-shirts, and Breanna's outstanding topless body. You'll never wish you were a tiny white thong more in your life.
Thanks to Danish heavy metal band PRETTY MAIDS for the song "Pandemonium".



Click on Breanna's ta-tas...watch the full vid...rock out for a while... then once you're all done drooling into a bucket, head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Breanna LIVE on CAM!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Cow Riding Fail, Seattle Cop Punches Woman, Megan Fox is Engaged, Halle Berry is Bending Over, GUNS N ROSES keyboard player falls, New PAPA ROACH music, Violet and Iron Man, Annette Schwarz is filthy, Dasha Astafieva is a proud Ukrainian

Yeehaw! It's Hump Day, cowboy! So find yourself a cute li'l cowgirl and do some humping

So what if she's got a fella? she's a free spirit, and he's passed out. Go enjoy yourself and have an affair.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(You know, like the way you interact with...everyone?)

Man Rides Cow. Lasts Fifteen Seconds Before falling off:

All Dreams of becoming a Cowboy are lost forever.

You'd think with all the camera phones surrounding this little scuffle in Seattle...

The cop would have exercised some restraint. Right or Wrong, just hold back a little so there's not so much footage, ya know?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Megan Fox is Engaged. Again. (WWTDD)

Oh boy, Megan Fox is Naked. Again.


Halle Berry Has a Swell Camel Toe (Drunken Stepfather)

Not that she's known for subtlety...considering we've lost count how many times she's been totally nekkid on camera

Jayna Oso is Oh-So-Sexy (Freakshow Planet)

A chat with Lee Unkrich, Director of TOY STORY 3 (Bullz-Eye)

The Vuvuzela - The Ultimate Online Guide to the Real Star of World Cup 2010 (URLesque)

Space Race 2020: USA vs. Adorable Robots (UPROXX)

Capri Anderson is as clean as a whistle, but still feels the need to shower. Good for her! (Dailyniner)

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Madam (Asylum)

Angel Dark really needs to give up on clothes at this point. Why bother with 'em? (z0d)

The Booth Babes of E3 2010 (Gunaxin)

A Tribute to Dads Who Go Above and Beyond: Awesome Treehouses (The Bachelor Guy)

The Worst Blind Date Ever (Campus Socialite)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your complete lack of personality will prevent you from having any meaningful relationships)

Chris Pitman from GUNS N' ROSES (click it, fool) fell ass-over-teacup during the band's opening song in Moscow:

That Russian Vodka has some serious kick to it. Wait, are we implying that someone in GUNS N' ROSES drinks? Eh, maybe.

Those friendly boys in PAPA ROACH (who happen to have a TON of albums out) have a new single:

The band's new album Time For Annihilation...On The Road and On The Record will be out in late August

from rowdy rock bands to bouncing boobies...

You've seen Violet in plenty FOUNDRY CAMS videos, and she has a new site, Viorotica:

...and now she's giving IRON MAN a naked lap dance. What a lucky superhero.

Ukrainian Hotness and PLAYBOY Playmate Dasha Astafieva loves showing off her Ukrainian heritage:

she also loves showing off her naked hiney...which we'll never object to.

German-born Annette Schwarz is one of the filthiest adult starlets we've ever met (and yes we have met her):

SO filthy, that this clip is only :58 seconds long... for Annette's full-blown ass-reaming, check out BIG WET ASSES 11 - On Demand Now!

Holy Smokes! Another beautiful webcam model shaking her ass! Whodathunkit?

Ember Reigns, the buxom blond bombshell who you have seen in numerous FOUNDRY CAMS videos, as well as at her own site, has given us what could be her finest performance yet:


Honestly... do you REALLY need us to tell you to click on Ember's pic? JUST DO IT!

Great song. Great hiney. When you stop hallucinating, Go check out Ember's Sexy Self LIVE - online NOW

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Wednesday Links: Oblivious Old Woman, Windsor Guard Pukes, Mary Carey's fun-sized bags, Megan Fox ain't a slut, New SLASH and MEGADETH videos

It's Hump Day, kids! find a fancy, refined, married woman...and start HUMPING!



Married women need love too, and you're just the person to give it out!



THAT's TERRIBLE:

(but the way your breath smells IS, so have a mint, whydontya?)

Want to see the most OBLIVIOUS old woman on the planet?




The store is being ROBBED. She has no idea.

This guard in front of Windor Palace must have had a rough night:




Projectile vomiting WHILE marching? Well done, old chap!

Mary Carey has obnoxious boobs (Drunken Stepfather)



But who cares...because she really knows how to use them... in her movies... which are not suitable for minors.





Megan Fox says she's not a slut (WWTDD)



However... She really does enjoy playing one in the movies!



Featured Model: Rali Ivanova (Bullz-Eye)



Mindy Main has Massive (fake) Melons (FreakshowPlanet)



Is it worth using Viagara if you don't need it? (The Campus Throne)



Nikita Valentin... is very naked...in the woods. Watch out for poison ivy! (z0d)



50 spoilers in 4 minutes (Inside Movies)



Asian Lesbian Babes and a lot of Candy bracelets (Dailyniner)



Forget Beer Pong -- Turtle Racing Is the Newest Bar Trend (Asylum)



20 Horrifyingly Awesome Velvet Paintings (FunnyCrave)



6 Most Memorable REAL WORLD departures (UPROXX)



Our buddy Robert Kelly with Kevin Nealon at the Laugh Factory:





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that you never developed emotionally beyond the age of two. It's OK. It happens. With DOGS, usually)

The guest lineup for the new SLASH album is more impressive than this year's Grammy's:



Fucking OZZY OSBOURNE and SLASH, just working out ideas.

The semi-reunited MEGADETH (David Ellefson rejoined on 2/8/2010) kicked off the Rest In Peace 20th Anniversary Tour in Spokane:



That would be Dave Mustaine behind that big red mop of hair.

The lovely, New York-born Ivy Black has a big bottle of baby oil:



and a big-ass hardwood floor. Someone's going to get hurt.

What's the best thing about all the topless beaches in Europe?



Gee, let's think about this...could it be...ALL THE TOPLESS WOMEN?!?! Um, yeah.

Everyone say "howdy" to 20 year-old Czech Beauty KAMI...she must be a cowgirl. You know, cuz of the hat.



Who else wears pink furry cowboy hats? OK, well EXCEPT for pimps in the late 1970s.

Busty, blond, BISEXUAL Femme, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos, fires up her fantastic body in this new clip with music by George Lynch (ex-DOKKEN) and our buds in LYNCH MOB:







CLICK ON FEMME's BEAUTIFUL BISEXUAL BODY...and have a bib handy

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.