New TWITTER, MILF washing a Ferrari, Winger Winging it, BRUCE LEE auditioning, New ANVIL, Old NIGHT RANGER, New THIN LIZZY line-up, Lisa Ann, Julia Ann, Mary Carey...Ann

Remember, kids... you follow us and we'll follow you!
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right?
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the cockfights we have going on in the basement
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Why is your mom washing your dad's Ferrari with steel wool pads? Dad must have done something none-too-pleasing

and how do we know it's your mom? She posted the pic online in a personal ad... Dad's not getting the job done at home, evidently.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the way you pretend your hair isn't falling out in clumps on an hourly basis)

When is WINGER going to change the name of "Seventeen" to "Thirty-eight"... you know, considering the age factor of the fans:

*rimshot*... fine, it wasn't one of our best.

That clip was actually shot in 2007...just to show you how timely we are... Boooooooooo.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your hairline, which would look better if you combed your eyebrows up over your head)

Who wants to see Bruce Lee's original audition for the role of Kato on 'The Green Hornet'? We're gonna show you anyway:

Pay special attention to the Kung Fu demonstration with the old man (about halfway through)

Oooh - look what's coming to video soon! This wasn't half bad, actually.

Jennifer Lopez has a bit of a sloppy stomach:

Why she's showing it off, we don't know

Neveah and Raina Lee touching tongues. Yay. (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Suzuki Kizashi Review (Bullz-Eye)

Dating Tips from the Funniest Women on Twitter (How About We)

I'm Ashamed to be a Boston Sports Fan (MadeMan)

Chikita...she's one hot banana...and by 'banana' we mean 'large-breasted blond babe' (z0d)

Victoria Rae Black may be pasty, but she's way purty (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you're going to muddle through life with the same mediocrity you attack every other task with)

Did you NOT hear the latest ANVIL song? Well, here ya go:

"Juggernaut of Justice"...nothing like subtlety. Love it! We're sure it'll sell tens of copies.

OK, maybe a hundred copies. C'mon, look at that cover art.

How many original members of a band do you need to keep using the name? If you're THIN LIZZY, the answer is ONE. Maybe two:

When one of your guitarists has to leave to re-join DEF LEPPARD, you're bordering on silly...

DULUXE EDITION?!?! Well, then I should rush out and buy this bugger right now.

Hey Mexico! We're NIGHT RANGER! Here's a song you may not have heard a hundred thousand times in the past 26 years:

See, that was what we call sarcasm. Anyone who hasn't heard "Sister Christian" has probably been living on Jupiter... or at least Mars... for a while.

...and this is the last album the band released. Umm, no one is buying music these days, if you haven't already figured that out.

How much for ze little girlz, eh?

We've got a double-banger of our favorite MILF, Lisa Ann for you... banger...bang-her... get it? *rimshot*
Lisa Ann is seducing a very lucky grocery boy in this clip.

VERY lucky. SUPER lucky. EXTRA-SPECIAL super-lucky, with sugar on top...and on the sides.

...and here's the lovely Lisa Ann in leopard-print lingerie.

OK, enough alliteration for one stupid entry. Alright already.

OK, folks...show of hands: who wants to see blond MILF Julia Ann roll around half-naked on a pool table?

Yeah, that's what we thought. All of you. whatcha waitin' for then?

Our braniac friend Mary Carey loves taking her clothes off outside. How do we know?

Because every damn clip she sends us features her... taking her clothes off outside. THAT's how we know

Facelifts are let's face it, necessary...and FOUNDRY CAMS was no exception to that rule, so we did this:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make salsa in woodchipper.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

MILF Cyborg - Maybe, Gun-shy Robbers, ADLER's APPETITE in SPAIN, DEICIDE in Rochester, STONE SOUR on Kimmel, Candy Manson wrapped in Gold, Carmen wrapped in Very little

Joey's mom is in the kitchen with giant tubs of whey protein. Crap. Joey's mom is a Cyborg

Oh hell, there's a first time for everything. hooking up with a cyborg could be a lot of fun...regardless of whether it's your friend's mom.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your face. Stop breaking mirrors, assface)

Check out the world's most gun-shy robbers...

These geniuses held up a jewelry store in England. The shop owner had NO weaponry of any kind. He still chased them away... *cough* PUSSIES *cough*

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your contribution to society, waste of space)


Could someone tell Bam Margera that if he's going to cheat, maybe he shouldn't be taking PICTURES of it (Drunken Stepfather)



Anju... what a weird name. What a not-so-weird body (FreakShow Planet)

Ten Movies the 2011 Academy Award Nominees Don't Want You to See (Bullz-Eye)

Bobbi Billard has boobs you just want to go to bed on (z0d)

Sofia Webber will have you so so so so so so...what were we saying? Dayum. (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only friend you have is that bottle of Jack you cozy up to every night.)

DEICIDE could be the hardest-to-understand band playing today:

Of course, that's a sweeping generalization based on one video of the low-end, gutteral howling done by the singer/bassist with the upside-down cross burned in his head. WOW, don't sound too judgemental now, sheesh..

ADLER's APPETITE continues to capitalize on the old GUNS N' ROSES catalog with gigs like this one in Spain:

Eh, if SLASH can do it, so can Steven Adler... and comparing Adler to Slash is realistic... yeah, sure..

...and we can't think of anything smarmy or sarcastic to say about STONE SOUR playing on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE:

Only that if CORY TAYLOR gets the VELVET REVOLVER gig, that's THREE bands that sucker is going to be in, and we'll be counting down until his massive corinary.

From Guitars... we spin the wheel of awesome over to... you guessed it! Girls!

Candy Manson is packed into a gold leotard just about as tight as humanly possible... and that, folks is no small feat:

You ever wonder how a gal with 32DDD bosoms sleeps at night? Does she have to dig out a trench in her mattress? One can only wonder.

Once again, we must ogle the lovely...and busty...Carmen from Cam With Carmen...who you have seen in numerous FOUNDRY CAMS videos:

There's nothing like strategically-placed heart-shaped decals to make the imagination run wild, thankyouverymuch.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is how we say "Beat it, monkeybrain"

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

FOUNDRY CAMS: SOUND OFF with TRAPT and Tattooed Candy

TRAPT has a new album out called No Apologies, a new single Sound Off, and we have a new totally tattooed girl in our FOUNDRY CAMS club named Candy. Of course, we had to get these people together to make an amazing new video.
What you see is amazing compilation of tattoos, tunes, and titilating video, courtest of Candy from FOUNDRY CAMS. Thanks again to TRAPT for the music, and thanks as always to our own Jon for the editing.



Click on Candy's Tattooed Cans...NOW. then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Candy LIVE...and Naked... (and if YOU want to be naked, that's all on you)

Bands and labels, if you want YOUR music featued in a FOUNDRY CAMS video, you should send your CDs and press kits to:

FoundryMusic
c/o DFL MEDIA, LLC
PO Box 257
Millington, NJ
07946


Thanks again to our buddies in TRAPT for the song Sound Off, which you can pick up online in a number of places:


You can also pick up some TRAPT online at iTunes:


Ok, you officially have no more excuses to keep reading this.
1. Watch Candy'a Video.
2. Chat with Candy LIVE
3. Run, don't walk, and pick up No Apologies from our friends in TRAPT

Got it? Good. We're tired of explaining it.

FOUNDRY CAMS: Breanna Busts Out For PRETTY MAIDS

21 year-old Breanna (aka BreannaRose) makes her FOUNDRY CAMS debut in this eye-popping topless video which features (of course) Breanna, one of our old-school, ripped up FoundryMusic T-shirts, and Breanna's outstanding topless body. You'll never wish you were a tiny white thong more in your life.
Thanks to Danish heavy metal band PRETTY MAIDS for the song "Pandemonium" and thanks be to our own Jon for the editing.



Click on Breanna's ta-tas...watch the full vid...rock out for a while... then once you're all done drooling into a bucket, head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Breanna LIVE on CAM!

Bands and labels, if you want YOUR music featued in a FOUNDRY CAMS video, you should send your CDs and press kits to:

FoundryMusic
c/o DFL MEDIA, LLC
PO Box 257
Millington, NJ
07946


Thanks once again to those nice Danish guys in PRETTY MAIDS for the song "Pandemonium", which is also the title track of their latest album:



You can also Download some PRETTY MAIDS at iTunes:


...and that should be it. video, thanks, comb, keys, money, wallet, rubbers, and change...

Whatcha waiting for? GO watch Breanna's video already!

Speeding Teen Takes out Highway, Someone tried to kill Paris Hilton, Rob Halford's Leather and Chains, MEGADETH in Hollywood, DROWNING POOL does PANTERA, Capri Cavalli will get you fired, PLAYBOY's Sofia Lane, Kiss Kara does homework

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(But not even remotely as bad as your receding hairline and breath. Here's a mint and some Rogaine)

If you're going to take out a freeway for six hours, you might as well do it Dukes of Hazzard style:

Car split into three pieces, and the kid LIVED... let's all get dashboard-cameras and see what kind of mayhem we can record while driving!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Someone tried to Kill Paris Hilton (WWTDD)

Say it ain't so! the world needs vapid blockheads who get famous after releasing homemade sex tapes. Hell, that's most of reality TV.


Someone's surgically-enhanced ass was strolling through the sand (Drunken Stepfather)

C'mon this is an easy one it's not like we haven't posted links to her sex tape a hundred times before. Now that wasn't so hard, was it?

'Star Wars' Reimagined as Silent Films (MovieFone)

Giuliana Marino is one seriously spicy meatball...and she's pretty cute too (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Jessica Marie (Bullz-Eye)

Someone Should tell Jana Cova that her tiny necktie isn't nearly enough to cover her for that interview at Hardee's (z0d)

Jana and Jana are Just the Best Of Friends...who get naked a lot and lick each other (Dailyniner)

Catherine: The Weirdest Video Game You’ll Ever Play (The Campus Socialite)

Other Celebrity Stormtrooper Action Figures (Gunaxin)

Poodle Puppy Dances For Freedom (College Humor)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that most of your friends' names are plastered on the front of whiskey bottles)

In retrospect, when you look at all the leather and chains ROB HALFORD shackles himself with:

...the whole gay thing isn't really that shocking, is it?

The guys in MEGADETH are releasing Rust In Peace - LIVE, and this friends, is a little taste of "Holy Wars...The Punishment Due":

Well, OK... it's the WHOLE song. Mustaine's guitar is so pointy, it's a miracle no one in the band gets stabbed with it.

OUr amigos in DROWNING POOL paid homage to the PANTERA guys with their take on "Cowboys from Hell":

Damn, there's some cool shit going on at Ozzfest this year. We's going!

Heavy Metal always leads to...Heavy Hooters!

In any normal job situation Capri Cavalli would get everyone in the office fired for pulling this shit:

But not in Smut-land! You can see the end result of Capri's advances in the full version. It's totally realistic, man. Really.

This beautiful blond bombshell is PLAYBOY's Sofia Lane and she used to be 40 pounds heavier:

But she's not anymore, so put away the harpoon guns and gawk at her shapely hiney in the shower.

We suggest that ALL women do their homework just like Kara:

topless, feeling herself up, in front of her laptop and big-ass flat screen TV Kiss Kara is a Homework Role Model, dammit.

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to "Tattoos & Tequila" by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil's Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.


Click on Emi's very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you'd like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don't want any of that drunk-typing happening)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

FOUNDRY CAMS: Emi Loves Her Tattoos & Tequila

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to "Tattoos & Tequila" by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil's Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.
Thanks to VINCE NEIL for the song.
Thanks to our own Jon for the editing.



Click on Emi's very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you'd like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don't want any of that drunk-typing happening)

Bands and labels, if you want YOUR music featued in a FOUNDRY CAMS video, you should send your CDs and press kits to:

FoundryMusic
c/o DFL MEDIA, LLC
PO Box 257
Millington, NJ
07946


Thanks once again to VINCE NEIL for "Tattoos & Tequila" from his latest disc of the same name:

Speaking of which, Vince has a book (almost) by the same title coming out later in September:
Tattoos & Tequila: To Hell and Back with One of Rock's Most Notorious Frontmen

Oh! almost forgot! You can also download Vince Neil and download Mötley Crüe to your heart's content over at iTunes:


Hmm... we get everything? Yeah, that looks to be it...

Get your arse over to FOUNDRY CAMS and hook up with Emi LIVE...on cam...NOW!

FOUNDRY CAMS: Luscious Latina Janelle is EXTREME-ly Spicy

Janelle is a curvy, 23 year-old Latina with exotic green eyes DD-sized breasts, and an ass-tastic hiney that fits perfectly in a tiny thong. We sent Janelle one of our HUGE old-school FoundryMusic T-Shirts, and she wore it for a few seconds, then tossed it aside in favor of fishnet stockings and pink panties. We have ZERO objection to this behavior, and we'll continue to encourage it.
Thanks to our Boston boys in EXTREME for the song "King of the Ladies".
Thanks to our own Jon for the editing.



Click the pic. Rub your...(oh, now that's just not neccessary, is it?) then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Janelle LIVE (she'll be wearing next-to-nothing. You wear whatever the hell you want, amigo)

Bands and labels, if you want YOUR music featued in a FOUNDRY CAMS video, you should send your CDs and press kits to:

FoundryMusic
c/o DFL MEDIA, LLC
PO Box 257
Millington, NJ
07946


Thanks again to Gary, Nuno, Pat, and Kevin in EXTREME for the song "King of the Ladies", which you can also check out on their latest CD/DVD release Take Us Alive: Boston 2009


You can also download EXTREME to your li'l heart's delight over at iTunes



Got everything? Keys, wallet, lunch money, butt-plug... OK, we're good.

You. Go. Now. Watch video. Scram. Nothing to see here

Hot MILF Hookup, Chubby Gal Video Tantrum, Drunk Girl vs Poker Table, Lindsay Got Punched, Mystery MILF Nips, KORN on Kimmel, Ashley Bulgari in the Desert, Jodie Starr in the Shower, Roxy Panther loves Soccer

Awwwww shit! It's Friday, you bastards! Get up. Get out. and fornicate with the lonely widow who lives next door!

Wait, she's NOT a widow? Her husband is still kickin'? eh, no matter. Get to it!. She wouldn't be wearing heels like that if she wasn't asking for it, you know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your hairline. It's called ROGAINE. Go get some.)

This young lady is MAD AS HELL...and SHE's NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Holy shit. That's a girl? Amazing, right?

Poker = Fun. Drunk Girls = A lot of Fun.

Drunk Girls - clothes + Poker table = Really Funny.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Lindsay Lohan Got Punched In The Face? and the problem is....? (WWTDD)

Quick, Lindsay! make another lousy movie where you play an armless stripper! That'll make all the hurt go away.


Gee, whose perky MILF nips are these? (Drunken Stepfather)

Would it totally give it away if we told you she's the same woman who peddled her own sex tape, acted all victimized by it, and then collected close to a million dollars up-front for it? Yeah, that's kind of a dead giveaway.

25 Things You May Not Have Known About Back to the Future (Gunaxin)

Aliya Wolf will make you howl like a... oh you get the idea (Freakshow Planet)

Featured Model: Niki (Bullz-Eye)

The Worst Tribeca Film Festival Movie Pitch - Would You Fund This Guy's Movie? (URLesque)

No Dentist In the World will help this woman (DJMICK)

Julri Waters and her Hot Friend are getting awfully...friendly (Dailyniner)

You Might Not Have Known, but Handheld Gaming Is Huge (Asylum)

Cherry and Hrisianta are Licking each other's feet (z0d)

Videogame Characters Solve Real World Problems (Dorkly)

Everyday Mexican Standoffs (FunnyCrave)

Interviewer punks M. Night Shyalami (FilmDrunk)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only ass you'll ever get is attached to a Peruvian pool boy)

Our friends in KORN are hitting the road in support of their new record (click for tickets!) and they made a little stop at Jimmy Kimmel Live:

Get them KORN tickets before they're all gone, fella.

From Hard rock...right to hard nips...

Sexy Czech Ashley Bulgari is naked in the desert for this photo shoot:

She's gonna be cleaning sand out of her butt for weeks. Yowch.

no matter how many times we tell her, Jodie Starr Keeps Forgetting to take her clothes off in the shower:

It's not a crisis, but sheesh... her underwear is getting all soggy.

Hungarin hotness Roxy Panther is so amped up about the World Cup that she painted her whole body like Team USA:

it's going to take forever to get all that paint out of her cooter. Poor gal.

We have another beautiful busty blond babe shakin' her hiney in a FoundryMusic shirt...

Busty blond beautiful Bobbia makes her FOUNDRY CAMS debut in this clip featuring music by Sweden's CRASHDIET:


CLick Bobbia's Booty, damn you!!

Nice, right? Cam up with Bobbia at FOUNDRY CAMS and try to charm her out of her shorts

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.