Hot Girls Falling, Russian Dopes Attacking, FOZZY and the Canucks Rocking, Richie Kotzen Whining, Crystal Harris Marrying, Natalie Portman and Mia Kunis Kissing

Hey-O, boys and girls...as we bear down on the new year, let's consider all of the indescretions we have engaged in this year:

Yeah, sure. Monogamy is normal. For penguins, maybe.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the face you see in the mirror every morning, chubster)

Good-looking dancing girls falling off a bar = ALWAYS funny.

Come to think of it, an ugly girl falling would be pretty damn funny too.

Because asking for her number is just WAY too easy...

These guys figure they'll just shoot her with a water cannon. Insecure much, fellas? Sheesh.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Bar Rafaeli In a Bikini... Does NOT suck. (Drunken Stepfather)

Gracie Glam has perky nubs and a firm backside you could bounce nickels off ...BOINGOINGOINGOINGOING!!! (FreakShow Planet)

Bullz-Eye.com Girl Next Door: Mia Vincent (Bullz-Eye)

If you like the ladies with a little bit of meat on their bones, we give you...Jessica Mitchell (z0d)

Jenya and her hot blond friend are getting all kinds of friendly...and by 'Friendly'.. we mean 'naked fun sexy-time' (Dailyniner)

Five Incredibly Stupid Cons that Actually Worked (The Smoking Jacket)

164 of the Best Advice Animals (Fork Party)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you outgrew another wardrobe, piggy)

Want to see Chris Jericho and the rest of FOZZY did their thing in Ontario to a crowd of screaming Canucks. Wanna see? No? Too bad:

A professional wrestler? Singing? In a band? Nah, it'll never work.

Listen, bub! RICHIE KOTZEN is an important man, and he does NOT like feedback. You got that?!?!:

Especially when he's playing gigs in the bowels of the Czech Republic...now fix the Goddamn feedback!!! Please? Mister? He was in POISON... for like, five minutes and one album.

Now that you're done looking at THAT, take a look at THIS!

PLAYBOY Playmate Crystal Harris got engaged to Hugh Hefner over Christmas:

Not only did she receive a ring, but she got a colostomy bag changing schedule as well... ZING! *rimshot*

Anyone see the artsy-fartsy BLACK SWAN? No? We're going to give you a good reason to:

Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis lesbian sex... Hey-O!! Get us a ticket now, whydontcha?

Who IS Emily Addison?

Some... person. Meh, we don't know. What we DO know is that she looks REALLY good without her clothes... and that's all we really needed to know, honestly.

Carmen, who you have seen in countless other FOUNDRY CAMS videos and her own site Cam With Carmen, as well as Sweet Victoria, Lita, Lux, Eve, Jade, and Jaylee are giving the gift of scantily-clad awesomeness this holiday season.
Thanks to our buddy GARY HOEY for his version of "Carol Of The Bells" and thanks to Jon for the editing.



CLICK ON CARMEN's GIFT-WRAPPED TA-TA's and UNWRAP HER PRESENTS

After you're done drooling, why not see more of Carmen at CAM WITH CARMEN and check out her fully-unwrapped, fully-nude, fantastic rack...and everything else.

...and that, ladies and gents, is today's big ol' enchilada update....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Holiday affairs, When Otters Attack, Acoustic Gnarls Barkley, Richie Kotzen and Old School Def Leppard, Brea Lynn, Justene Jaro and LOTS of Gisele

Weekend in detention, eh? I'll betcha we can think of a thousand different scandalous acts of adultery you could have been committing with that hot MILF teacher of yours:

So what if she's married? Teachers are at school to help students, and in our opinion, nothing is more effective than a little touchy-feely

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your girthy chunky butt. Here's a free gym membership. Use it.)

Who knew otters were so vicious?

Evidently not this 19 year-old from Boca Raton, Florida... He got his ass bitten by one pissed-off otter with rabies.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Jennifer Aniston loves showing off that body of hers (Drunken Stepfather)

Does she REALLY? She SURE does. That gal Jennifer LOVES getting naked

Bullz-Eye.com Holiday Gift Guide (Bullz-Eye)

15 Hot Chicks Working Out (Top Cultured)

Tiffany Brookes looks awfully spiffy in a top hat. (FreakShow Planet)

Abbey Brookes is one Penthouse Pet who doesn't mind showing off ALL of her no-no spots at once (z0d)

Robyn TrueLove...probably using a fake name... probably (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that you're still blaming all of your problems on other people. Way to grow up, ya nut.)

His name is DON ROSS ...and he's a Canadian who can play GNARLS BARKLEY like no one we have ever seen:

One guy. One Guitar. Crazy, right? Right.

What's this? Rainbow shirts & a Drummer with 2 arms?

It's DEF LEPPARD... in 1979.

Why is it that RICHIE KOTZEN never caught on as a pop musician?


Could it be that his last name literally means "Puke" in German? Perhaps...

From amazing musicians, we drift on over to amazing bodies

Busty beautiful, and now blond Brea Lynn is no stranger to taking her shirt off:

Sweaters are so constricting when it comes to diddling, don't you agree? off with you, vile sweater!... and watch the most wonderful video ever.

This scantily-clad bikini babe is Justine Jaro, and she stinks at washing cars:

But we're not entirely sure car-washing was the point of this clip. What says you, eh Chester?

Our buddy Gisele is naked, in the shower, rubbing oil all over herself:

Not to nit-pick, but doesn't the oiling come AFTER the showering? Eh, we dunno. We love Gisele. You should too.

Speaking of Gisele...

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Kendra Exposed Released Today, Drunk Fat Girl, Drunk Russian Guy, Richie Kotzen in Philly, Y&T does DIO, Kirra Lynne's Booty, Natalie Sparks Loves Lotion

Today is the day, boys and girls...

Kendra Exposed: The Kendra Wilkinson Sex Tape is being released today...a week early...because a nation of total filthbags (us included) couldn't wait.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Sort of like your shitty sense of entitlement)

This chubby girl rolling around in the mud at Ohio's 7Fest could be the least flattering clip we have seen all day:


Insert pig-in-mud reference HERE.

Speaking of drunks, check out this Russian guy who tumbles down a subway escalator:


Thank GOD the light fixture to the face broke his fall.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Lindsay is CURED! (WWTDD)

THANK GOD! because the sooner she can get back to making low-budget skin flicks, the better! Amiright? Amiright?

Whose big old lady boobs are these??? (Drunken Stepfather)

We'd love to point you to some titty pics of her but apparently she's WAY too uptight to let those funbags fly...and she doesn't take it in the butt...allegedly.

Johnny B. Goode: Back to the Future 1 & 2 Simultaneous (Dave and Thomas)

Penthouse Pet Ryan Keely looks Regal in this Black-and-White Photo Shoot (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Emily (Bullz-Eye)

Georgia Jones is the Sweetest Peach we've seen all Day (Dailyniner)

Worst National Anthem Performances (Gunaxin)

It's Always Sunny in Philly goes into syndication Mon. Here's their new "The Drunks Are On Us" clip (TheBachelorGuy)

Riley Evans Really Likes Getting Naked (z0d)

Top 20 WTF Movie Moments (The Campus Socialite)

A Practical Guide to Watching Porn With Your Girlfriend (FunnyCrave)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you forgot to skim the pool and change the kegs in a timely fashion. Maybe next time you won't have to sleep in the garage)

You may know RICHIE KOTZEN (click for discography) from his time in POISON and MR BIG:

He rarely does shows in the U.S., and this is him in Philadelphia - at the North Star Bar.

Los Angeles rock vets Y&T paid homage to Ronnie James Dio with their version of "Rainbow In The Dark":

Y&T, boy... um, we got nothing.

From great guitars to great asses...

Hiney-rific Kirra Lynne is oiling down her booty:

if you're dying to see what else happened to her hiney watch BIG WET ASSES #14 - On Demand Now!

Nicely-shaped Natalie Sparks Loves Lotion:

That's not ALL she loves. Natalie Loves all kinds of Dirty Things.

What's this? More fantastic shamless self-promotion?? INDEED!

You know Carmen from her many FOUNDRY CAMS videos and from her solo site - CamWithCarmen. Here's a great clip of her "Unraveling" her clothes to some music by our friends in SEVENDUST:


CLICK THE PIC TO SEE CARMEN STRIP!

Then, when the feeling returns in your arms and legs... chat with Carmen LIVE, one-on-one!

You can also get hundreds of new photos and videos at Carmen's solo site - CamWithCarmen

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Thursday Links: Crappy Grenade Throwing, Nicole Richie is a Zombie, Kirstie Alley is *gasp* Large, SLASH plays the Blues, SIXX AM, Brianna is falling

THAT's TERRIBLE:

This soldier SUCKS at throwing grenades...




Betcha he gets picked last every time for "who wants to be in MY foxhole"...

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(but the pool still has leaves all over it. Skim it AGAIN, boy!)





Holy Shit! Zombies! Oh..wait. It's Nicole Richie (Drunken Stepfather)



You get ONE guess...and you'll be kicking yourself if you don't get it right





OMG. What is that? (WWTDD)



like ummm... remember when she looked like THIS???



2010 Lamborghini Murciélago Rev-Air Roadster...and a hot-ass Bikini Babe (Bullz-Eye)



Jayden Cole is the naughtiest teacher you'd ever want to stay after class with (FreakshowPlanet)



Dirty Dozen: College Girls at Their Best (The Campus Throne)



Leggy Rebecca Lynn Likes to lose her Lingerie (z0d)



Detroit bans lap dances in strip clubs; let the exodus begin (Guyism)



Roxanna...you don't have to put on your pink robe... get it? Police song? Roxanne? echh (Dailyniner)



How To Keep Your Grandparents Safe Online (UPROXX)



Tim Burton Remakes "Weekend At Bernie's (Babelgum)



Self-Correcting Dominos? So Awesome. (Today's Big Thing)



Biblical Mushroom Trip (atom)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that your lack of a basic skill set will have you sucking off others for years to come.)

The one and only SLASH from GNR and VELVET REVOLVER is jamming on some classic BB King in Sherman Oaks:



He's also apparently trying to quit smoking by chewing on guitar picks.

and because we fucking feel like it, here's a video by Nikki Sixx's band, SIXX AM:



"Accidents Can Happen" was the fourth single from The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack, and we thought the video was nifty. Suck it.

Sexy, slender FOUNDRY CAMS babe Brianna Frost fell off her stripper pole...AGAIN:



Yeah, that's right. this has happened before.

Busty brunette Isis Taylor from Twistys wore an itsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy, sorta-polka-dot-bikini...



.actually, it was more like a dress, and it wasn't on for very long.

This disembodied pair of boobs stuffed into a tight pink shirt belongs to a Latina named Jazmyn.



If it's any consolation, that shirt doesn't stay on very long.

Busty, blond, BISEXUAL Femme, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos, fires up her fantastic body in this new clip with music by George Lynch (ex-DOKKEN) and our buds in LYNCH MOB:







CLICK ON FEMME's BEAUTIFUL BISEXUAL BODY...and have a bib handy

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tuesday Links: Supermodel falls twice, Turkish STAR TREK, Mischa Barton is a Menace, STRYPER does JUDAS PRIEST, Missy Carrington, and Sexy Czech Terry

It's Tuesday, boys and girls... time to ask your friend's hot mom out for a drink...or nine.



You're young, full of stamina, and you should be having affairs with married women...especially the ones with large bosoms and camel toe.

of course you could choose NOT to act on impulse and step aside for the Dancing Bear.



His furry pelvis will be all over your mom...

THAT's TERRIBLE:

What's funnier than a supermodel falling down?




The SAME supermodel falling down AGAIN. 10 seconds later. THAT's WHAT. Everyone say howdy to Supermodel Agyness Deyn

After seeing this scene from a Turkish version of STAR TREK...




We think ALL future versions of STAR TREK should be in Turkish. ALL of them.

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(but your bitching and moaning on the other hand, IS..so why not knock it off)





Say, whose big juicy mom-boobs are these? (Drunken Stepfather)





Mischa Barton is a Menace (WWTDD)



menace or not, Mischa Barton has a helluva nice hiney!.



THE WOLFMAN: Movie Review (Bullz-Eye)



Sandy Summers has the perfect body for, well...Summer. (FreakshowPlanet)



Cover your tracks on Facebook when Playing the Field (The Campus Throne)



Mariah Milano is looking super-hot in her almost-bikini (z0d)



The 7 Worst (and Best) Movies Ever Made (ForkParty)



Lexi Belle can't keep her hands off herself... we wouldn't be able to either (Dailyniner)



Adult Swim fans take note. Venture Bros toys a comin'.. (Dave and Thomas)



How to view Private Facebook Profiles (Funycrave)



Christina Hendricks Fills Out The Pages Of NY Magazine (Don Chavez)



The 20 WORST Tramp Stamps (HEAVY)



An Open Letter to LOST fanatics (Warming Glow)



I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that the only way you can boost your self esteem is to embrace people who have less than you do. Impressive.)

What's this? STRYPER?? playing a song by JUDAS PRIEST??



Indeed. What are you? Prejudiced? Give a bunch of guys in bumblebee suits a break, whydontcha?.

Who dis bitch? Aaaawwww shit, it's sexy PLAYBOY coed Missy Tarrington.



She's all naked and shit. Which is a good thing.

This 18 year-old large breased sexy Czech babe is Terry and she's got perfect boobs.



Does she look nervous? Nooo she doesn't. Damn skippy God bless them Czech bitches.

Our FOUNDRY CAMS girl Brooke made us a finger-licking video. Rob Balducci sent us his new track "Choke". Together, they look like this:






Click on Brooke's Body, crack a beverage, and forget whatever you had planned for the day. she'll be online when you get done mopping up.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.