New TWITTER, MILF washing a Ferrari, Winger Winging it, BRUCE LEE auditioning, New ANVIL, Old NIGHT RANGER, New THIN LIZZY line-up, Lisa Ann, Julia Ann, Mary Carey...Ann

Remember, kids... you follow us and we'll follow you!
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right?
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the cockfights we have going on in the basement
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Why is your mom washing your dad's Ferrari with steel wool pads? Dad must have done something none-too-pleasing

and how do we know it's your mom? She posted the pic online in a personal ad... Dad's not getting the job done at home, evidently.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the way you pretend your hair isn't falling out in clumps on an hourly basis)

When is WINGER going to change the name of "Seventeen" to "Thirty-eight"... you know, considering the age factor of the fans:

*rimshot*... fine, it wasn't one of our best.

That clip was actually shot in 2007...just to show you how timely we are... Boooooooooo.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your hairline, which would look better if you combed your eyebrows up over your head)

Who wants to see Bruce Lee's original audition for the role of Kato on 'The Green Hornet'? We're gonna show you anyway:

Pay special attention to the Kung Fu demonstration with the old man (about halfway through)

Oooh - look what's coming to video soon! This wasn't half bad, actually.

Jennifer Lopez has a bit of a sloppy stomach:

Why she's showing it off, we don't know

Neveah and Raina Lee touching tongues. Yay. (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Suzuki Kizashi Review (Bullz-Eye)

Dating Tips from the Funniest Women on Twitter (How About We)

I'm Ashamed to be a Boston Sports Fan (MadeMan)

Chikita...she's one hot banana...and by 'banana' we mean 'large-breasted blond babe' (z0d)

Victoria Rae Black may be pasty, but she's way purty (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you're going to muddle through life with the same mediocrity you attack every other task with)

Did you NOT hear the latest ANVIL song? Well, here ya go:

"Juggernaut of Justice"...nothing like subtlety. Love it! We're sure it'll sell tens of copies.

OK, maybe a hundred copies. C'mon, look at that cover art.

How many original members of a band do you need to keep using the name? If you're THIN LIZZY, the answer is ONE. Maybe two:

When one of your guitarists has to leave to re-join DEF LEPPARD, you're bordering on silly...

DULUXE EDITION?!?! Well, then I should rush out and buy this bugger right now.

Hey Mexico! We're NIGHT RANGER! Here's a song you may not have heard a hundred thousand times in the past 26 years:

See, that was what we call sarcasm. Anyone who hasn't heard "Sister Christian" has probably been living on Jupiter... or at least Mars... for a while.

...and this is the last album the band released. Umm, no one is buying music these days, if you haven't already figured that out.

How much for ze little girlz, eh?

We've got a double-banger of our favorite MILF, Lisa Ann for you... banger...bang-her... get it? *rimshot*
Lisa Ann is seducing a very lucky grocery boy in this clip.

VERY lucky. SUPER lucky. EXTRA-SPECIAL super-lucky, with sugar on top...and on the sides.

...and here's the lovely Lisa Ann in leopard-print lingerie.

OK, enough alliteration for one stupid entry. Alright already.

OK, folks...show of hands: who wants to see blond MILF Julia Ann roll around half-naked on a pool table?

Yeah, that's what we thought. All of you. whatcha waitin' for then?

Our braniac friend Mary Carey loves taking her clothes off outside. How do we know?

Because every damn clip she sends us features her... taking her clothes off outside. THAT's how we know

Facelifts are let's face it, necessary...and FOUNDRY CAMS was no exception to that rule, so we did this:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make salsa in woodchipper.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Lonely MILF goes shopping, Arm-Farting Old Man, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN - New Trailer, BATMAN: Arkham City Trailer, WINGER in Brazil, Ripper Owens in Quebec, Shyla Styez & Alexis Texas

Bored? Lonely? Don't look at us, we're out-of-shape and introverted There IS however a woman in your neighborhood who is just waiting for you though:

She could be at the mall... aor at the supermarket... antsy for you to introduce yourself.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your general state of health, you elephant. There's a busy highway. Go for a walk.)

Never underestimate the hilarity of an old Iranian man arm-farting:

He could be Armenian...but that's missing the point entirely. Just watch the damn video.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

You will not miss Orlando Bloom or Kiera Knightley in the new PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN film, On Stranger Tides:

The trailer hit the web the other day and this franchise is going to make another Gazillion dollars from the looks of it.

Speaking of cool ass trailers, have you seen this preview for the game Batman: Arkham City yet?

Whaddya mean, 'no'? Click it, fool!.

What does Katie Price look so pissed off about? (Drunken Stepfather)

Oh how silly... WE know... she had to be reminded of the sex video she made when she was younger... cuz you know, she tends to forget.

Your Ultimate Gamer's Gift Guide (the Bachelor Guy)

2011 DODGE CHARGER: A Review (Bullz-Eye)

Got pregnant? Got Fat? You Gotta Get this book! (Muscle Sorority)

Cassie Walton is way too hot for that bikini... she should remove it. Oh look! (FreakShow Planet)

Theo. Guy's name...her body is ALL...WOMAN (z0d)

Jana Jordan wore an itsy-bitsy, teenie-weenie, red polka-dot bikini... but not for long (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you think you have a soul in that bloated body of yours. It's long gone, sweetness.)

Hey! You...over there! Remember the band WINGER??

...They're HUGE!... in Brazil.

Keeping with the obscure, but somewhat-still-relevant, Tim 'Ripper' Owens brought his kids up on stage during a show in Quebec:

To deviate from the set a little, they knocked out some classic AC/DC with "T.N.T." for those Canadian savages (kidding!)

OK, onto the boobies (we know whatcha want)...

Blond, busty and totally filthy Shyla Stylez is barely stuffed into her nurse outfit:

She's out of it completely and getting ravaged in Wet Dreams Cum True 6 - On Demand Now ... Don't act all shocked. You knew where that clip was headed.

Ass-tacular Alexis Texas is showing off her hiney in a pink thong:

...and then getting it packed full of protein in Apple Bottomz 4 - On Demand Right now.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Taiwan Freeway Rollover, Mel Gibson's Not-So-Friendly Audio, WINGER in NYC, JOE STUMP in Cincinnati, Bobbi Eden and Friend, Angelina Valentine is Frisky, Mason Moore is Oily

WooHoo! Weekend! Pants are Officially Optional! Especially if you plan on going out to a club and picking up a few ladies who may/may not be wearing any

Even if they showed up with guys, it's not your problem. It's a free world, and the ladies can go home with you if they want. The statistics on female adultery will blow your mind.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your stench after a weekend of heavy drinking)

Car blows tire, cartwheels across highway in Taiwan, and gets broadsided by the very bus it just passed:

...and the soothing music continues to play in the bus as the carnage unfolds.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Mel Gibson is sensitive... wait, no he isn't (audio link) (WWTDD)


Saaay, whose surgically-enhanced, overly-tanned clam are these panties covering up? (Drunken Stepfather)

C'mon, guess! we promise we won't give away the answer... oh wait, we just did. Oopsie

Italian TV is Good - BOOBS! (Warming Glow)

Playboy's Keylee Parker has Perky Nubs...only really big ones (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Lindsay Ann (Bullz-Eye)

Israeli Soldiers Get Busted for Dancing to Ke$ha's 'TiK ToK' on Patrol (The One) (URLesque)

Old Spice Guy on Boat Commercial (Todays Big Thing)

Zara is super-psyched about her new sex toy. It's a butt plug (Dailyniner)

Internet Sex Moves: Volume 2 (College Humor)

Sindy has a new Sex Toy, and her hands down her pants...she must have an itch (z0d)

7 Products You Should Never Buy Generic (FunnyCrave)

Twitter Shakes Things Up with California Earthquake (Campus Socialite)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that it's going to take you weeks to get your dried up puke cleaned off the living room sofa)

The guys in WINGER are still at it (laugh all you want, they still play better than you do) and here they are in New York City:

Performing "Seventeen" for a bunch of 35 year-olds.

Speaking of guys who play better than you, this is JOE STUMP. He shreds like Yngwie, teaches at Berklee, and does "Shred Clinics" like this one in Cincinnati:

...and the sad thing is he may still be living with his parents

From musicians to multi-talented mistresses

You probably have heard of Dutch adult starlet Bobbi Eden (that's what happens when you promise to give out free blow jobs):

This is a scene from BOBBI EDEN EXPOSED - which you can see on demand NOW.

2 women having a conversation in a kitchen, right? WRONG! it's Angelina Valentine and Mya Nichole - seconds before breaking out the sex toys:

This conversation is about all we can show you because the video gets very messy very quickly ...and the clean-up crew is going to need special stuff to get the bodily fluids off those granite counters.

So, you're into large-breasted tattooed girls with no inhibitions? then you should meet Mason Moore... she's about as filthy as they come/cum/whatever:

this clip is from BIG WET ASSES 17..and again, it's abuot all we can show you without the authorities showing up.

aaaaand what would an update from us be without a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS shaking her ass to rock music, which happens to be from DROWNING POOL this time:


Stare into Shanelle's eyes... only for a moment, then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Shanelle LIVE...and nekkid (her, not you...genius)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tuesday Links: Lafayette welcomes you, BBW Playground, Sandra Bullock Sex tape? Ashley Olsen's Legs, WINGER live in UK, Benji Madden KO's Riki Rachtman, PLAYBOY's Kara Jo, Laci Adams, Busty Beshine

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(and so is your attitude. What say we adjust it...with a pipe wrench?)

Let the kind people of Lafayette, Indiana welcome you to their fine city...


...you suck-ass bastard!

Chubby ladies Luna Love and Big Cutie Jae are having a fun at the playground...


...it's like the anti-Jenny Craig campaign. some guys dig the fatties, you know.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


A Sandra Bullock Sex Tape? Really? Um, no. (WWTDD)

Come ON, already... she's been naked on screen, like THREE times ever... Sex tape? No way.


Ashley Olsen has some seriously pasty legs (Drunken Stepfather)

10 Movie Quotes From The Sandra Bullock Sex Tape (Comedy)

Megan Voss is Very Very Naked...and that's a VERY good thing (Freakshow Planet)

Sexual Rx: The Research (Bullz-Eye)

Tattooed buxom babe Mason Moore wants to show you more of her body, so enjoy this... (Dailyniner)

Top 8: Books With Movie Appeal (Ask Men)

Mind-reading Technology will doom us all (UPROXX)

The 13 Most Creative and Interesting Billboard Advertisements (Street Level)

Zuzana's Trenchcoat is barely covering her impressive boobs (z0d)

Disgustingly Awesome 80’s Toys (Gunaxin)

'The Quotable Douchebag' Compiles Neither Wit Nor Wisdom (Asylum)

Joe Biden and Dick Cheney Hold Impromptu Meeting on Chat Roulette (Apoliticus)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your lack of personality is equal only to your loss of hair)

Hate 'em all you want, but the guys in WINGER can play their asses off:

"Seventeen" Live in Newcastle... they're touring behind their new disc Karma.

Benji Madden from GOOD CHARLOTTE knocked out Riki Rachtman at Ellismania 5:

3 knockouts. Less than 2 minutes. Betcha that was a pride-buster.

From rock we move to racks...

Texas-born Kara Jo is one of PLAYBOY's Sexy Wives:

..and her husband is one lucky cowboy.

move over large bosoms, we have LARGER bosoms to show you

You might not notice it yet, but Beshine...yes, that's her name... has the largest surgically-augmented boobs you have ever seen:

They're GINORMOUS...and she can't stop playing with 'em

Sweet young Laci Adams was born in the Ukraine, but now resides in LA:

Like so many young hot Ukrainians before her...Laci discovered that taking her clothes off was pretty lucrative.

Ravishing, Raven-haired, busty pinup girl Violet, who has done several FOUNDRY CAMS videos for us, has a brand new solo site, and to celebrate, she's shaking her fantastic figure to BRET MICHAELS' new song "Lie To Me":


Click on Violet Right Now, and stare slack-jawed at her awesomeness!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.