Poo-eating-Gorilla, New PIRANHA 3D trailer, Johnny Depp is a Boy Scout, Boring Bra on a Sexy Actress, New LIMP BIZKIT, ALICE COOPER and MEGADETH live, Alexis Texas, Katrin & Westy

Happy Mondee, everybuddy. Here's hoping you spent the weekend fornicating with a co-worker in a motel with lots of sex toys. If you didn't, then you're missing out, dagnabbit.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(just like the smell you leave behind when you walk out of a room)

Going to the zoo... Going to the zoo... Gonna watch a gorilla eat his poo...


and that's it for the educational portion of today's update.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

As if the first trailer wasn't mind-numbing enough, the second trailer for PIRANHA 3D will make your skin-crawl (but in a fun way):


Jam-packed with toothy fish, idiot college kids, and Doc Brown himself, Christopher Lloyd!.

Johnny Depp is a Goody Two-Shoes (WWTDD)


think 'Showgirls' .... 'Bound'... got it yet? No? You're a dipshit. (Drunken Stepfather)

Need Help? she apparently had a boob job to make her tiny boobs...less tiny... because why be obvious when you can be...subtle

'Iron Man 2' After Credits Scene Revealed [SPOILERS] (Comics Alliance)

Diana Doll is Damn sexy in her Green thong (Freakshow Planet)

Top 5 Light Beers (Bullz-Eye)

Vanessa Wade is a well-proportioned wife (Dailyniner)

Slave Leias Make For Sexiest Geek Car Wash Ever (Asylum)

Top 10 Movies Not To See With Your Parents (The Campus Socialite)

The 6 Greatest Movie Villains We Just Forgot About (UPROXX)

Nikki Benz is Blond, Buxom, Beautiful...and she's nekkid! (z0d)

The 20 Most Boobtastic Athletes Of All Time (Bleacher Report)

Creating Your Own Cockney Slang Words (FunnyCrave)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that there's no Nobel Prize for holding grudges...because you'd get it for sure!)

Finally (sarcasm intended)! Some new music from LIMP BIZKIT!:

Sounds like old LIMP BIZKIT...which is good if that's your thing.

Nice to see ALICE COOPER doing his thing on stage in Vancouver, and NOT breaking a hip:

ALICE COOPER and ROB ZOMBIE are on tour NOW! (click for tickets!)

We've said it before, but it's apparently true: MEGADETH is just as popular in Argentina as South American Hookers:

It's difficult to find something more popular than South American Hookers, wouldn't you say?

From Bands we move to booty...

Booty-tastic ALEXIS TEXAS - who has made more video than we can count is showing off her outstanding hiney on the stairs:

She's part German, and part Puerto Rican. Guess which part is Puerto Rican?

From Big Booty to Bigger Boobies...

Naturally-buxom Czech blondes Katerina Hartlova and Westy are playing a li'l game of indoor soccer:

We're much less interested in the dumb soccer game than the bisexual boob-fest that happens afterwards to be honest.

You like blondes, do ya Doc?

Why do we love sending out enormous old school FoundryMusic T-Shirts to our FOUNDRY CAMS girls? Because we love seeing what girls like Brooke and Sweet Victoria wind up doing with them. In this case, they made a vest and a miniskirt, respectively.
Thanks to our friends in FRAMING HANLEY for "Stupid Girl".

Click on Brooke blond locks, and stare wide-eyed at the screen for a while

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Drunk Drumming, New SPLICE Trailer, Chelsea Handler Sex Tape, Mystery Middle Aged Nippage, EXTREME's new Video, Brandy Robbins on Webcam, PLAYBOY's Julie Morse

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(just like your ace and hairline. Boy, are YOU in trouble)

Everyone meet Julio, the drunkest drummer EVER:


He's too drunk for drums..and that, folks...is a cryin' shame.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

While we weren't initially crazy about seeing SPLICE, the latest trailer is filled with Adrien Brody's Nosey Goodness:


Why do we have to reference Adrien Brody's Schnozz every time? Because we're fucking infants. That's why.

Chelsea Handler has a Sex Tape (WWTDD)

Wait, hold on a minute...the author of MY HORIZONTAL life has a Sex Tape???. We...umm, never saw this coming.


Whose Middle-aged well-maintained nips are poking out through this shirt? (Drunken Stepfather)

So what if she has lips like a blowfish? She looks great without her clothes on... and we're pigs so that's all that matters.

PRINCE OF PERSIA Trailer Gets LEGO-ized (MovieFone)

Jessica Jaymes is Just Jumping out of her Bikini (Freakshow Planet)

Splinter Cell: Conviction - Review (Bullz-Eye)

Nikki Benz is the kind of gal you'd like to buy a...Benz...for (Dailyniner)

Broke-Ass Marilyn Monroe -- Is It Porn? (Asylum)

25 Ridiculous Product Directions Protecting People From Themselves (TheBachelorGuy)

High Speed Footage Of Sh-t Blowing Up (UPROXX)

Christine Mercedes (insert forced luxury car reference here) is mostly naked on the bed... *drool* (z0d)

is this Chubby Baby Hosting an Alien? (Video Gone Viral)

Hey Mom!! Come take a picture of me for my metalhead friends! (College Humor)

The 20 Dirtiest Muppet Photos Of All Time (Manofest)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the chip on your shoulder is roughly the size of Mount Everest)

Our friends in EXTREME are reunited (that's not news) and they found a backyard full of people for their "King Of The Ladies" video:

The video is one of several bonuses on the band's new Take Us Alive CD/DVD, coming out in May.

from EXTREME songs to exrteme-ly large breasts...

Hooterific Brandy Robbins got a new webcam:

Apparenly, Brandy just figured out that guys like watching women strip on Webcam. We've known that for a while.

as long as we're looking at busty gals...

Buxom, curvy PLAYBOY babe Julie Morse is going to to school to be a teacher:

"but don't let her soft spoken ways fool you" is what her online bio says... Yeah, because that whole crawling-naked-on-the-table thing totally had us thrown for a loop.

You like blondes, do ya Doc?

Why do we love sending out enormous old school FoundryMusic T-Shirts to our FOUNDRY CAMS girls? Because we love seeing what girls like Brooke and Sweet Victoria wind up doing with them. In this case, they made a vest and a miniskirt, respectively.
Thanks to our friends in FRAMING HANLEY for "Stupid Girl".

Click on Brooke blond locks, and stare wide-eyed at the screen for a while

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Religious Girl Faints, Jenna Jameson is Nuts, Adrianne Curry Twitter Flashing, Piranha 3D Trailer, New Last Airbender Trailer, Jayme Langford, Claire Dames

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(just like your ace and hairline. Boy, are YOU in trouble)

Religious zealot at a secular school in Texas hits the deck during her preachy graduation speech:


...evidently God was too busy to catch her.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The one and only Richard Dreyfuss is going back to the water to battle angry fish in PIRANHA 3-D:


...only this time, he's bringing Jerry O'Connell, Ving Rhames, Elisabeth Shue, and Doc Brown himself...Christopher Lloyd.

Jenna Jameson is Insane and Always Has Been (WWTDD)

But come ON...We're not watching Jenna for stability...we're watching her get naked and bang. As long as we're being honest.


Adrianne Curry is flashing her cans on Twitter...again (Drunken Stepfather)

Which is no biggie because we have seen Adrianne Curry's boobs a bazillion times... or maybe you haven't? Eh, click it

First Look at Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow in Exclusive 'Iron Man 2' Clip (MovieFone)

Roxanna, you don't have to put on the red Light... but taking off your dress would be nifty (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Melissa Melendez (Bullz-Eye)

Cody Love just LOVES being naked...and there's nothing wrong with that (Dailyniner)

Iron Manly (starring Joe DeRosa) (atom)

The Seven Manliest Films From John Carpenter (Gunaxin)

The 10 Coolest Roadside Attractions in the US (Guyism)

Puma Swede is Pulling Up Her Purple Dress (z0d)

A Los Angeles Dodgers Hater Guide (FunnyCrave)

The Top 5 Hottest TV Poker Hosteses (The Bachelor Guy)

Hollywood Sign Saved by Naked Girls and Cocaine (FilmDrunk)

SEC Checks Itself In To Rehab Due To Porn Addiction (Apoliticus)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the chip on your shoulder is roughly the size of Mount Everest)

Danish hard rock? INDEED! PRETTY MAIDS still think it's 1989, apparently:

The band has been around for nineteen years... but they're Danish. So it's OK if you don't know who they are.

from bands to benders...

The latest trailer for M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender is filled with all kinds of CGI goodness:


...and it's filled with all kinds of bending... earth, air, fire water, all CGI and Bendy.

From airbending we move on to... bosoms!

Curvy adult starlet Claire Dames oiled up her booty for the kind folks at Big Wet Asses:

and you want the filthy? Check out the full, dirty, hardcore, oiled-up clip in BIG WET ASSES 16!

and from Bosoms, we move to MORE bosoms!

We're usually not big on redheaded girls, but Jayme Langford is the kind of gal we'd like to take out for a malted:

and then make a malted on her face because it looks like she's into that kind of thing.

Why do we love sending out enormous old school FoundryMusic T-Shirts to our FOUNDRY CAMS girls? Because we love seeing what girls like Brooke and Sweet Victoria wind up doing with them. In this case, they made a vest and a miniskirt, respectively.
Thanks to our friends in FRAMING HANLEY for "Stupid Girl".

Click on Brooke blond locks, and stare wide-eyed at the screen for a while

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Thursday Links: Drunk Guy vs. Flip-Flops, Runaway Saw Blade, Keifer's doing Dandy, Mystery Knockers, WINGER is still alive, Shyla Styles, Busty Ellen, and Katie Fey

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(just like your attitude and your face. Please adjust both accordingly... with a chainsaw))

There were some really amazing bands at the Coachella festival this week..


...but the real fun was watching this drunkard struggle with his flip-flops.

Umm, pay no attention to that runaway saw blade racing through your front lawn...


...yeah, the one that just ripped a three foot hole in the side of your house...*whistles and walks away*

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Keifer Sutherland is doing GREAT! (WWTDD)


Gee, whose silicone-injected boobs could these be? (Drunken Stepfather)

umm, could they belong to a former PLAYBOY playmate who has had more work done than the Statue of Liberty?

Esteemed Character Actor Considers Suicide Over Latest Career 'Low' (Asylum)

Alexis Texas Has the nicest ass in ...Detroit? (Freakshow Planet)

Ten Kick Ass Gadgets Not Called the iPad (Bullz-Eye)

shyla Jennings Isn't Shy about Showing Off Her Boobies (Dailyniner)

Brian Posehn - This Guy Loves “Fart And Wiener Jokes” (COMEDY)

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU, The Game (HEAVY)

50 Green Apps That Make Every Day Earth Day (The Bachelor Guy)

*GASP!* Christine Veronica isn't wearing anything! (well, a shirt maybe) (z0d)

Cougar sighting: 19-year-old Kick-Ass star Aaron Johnson's fianceé/baby mama is 42 (FilmDrunk)

Top 10: Weirdest Political Parties (Apoliticus)

Bird Loves House Music (CollegeHumor)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only ass you get is the lingering stench on a toilet seat)

Shocking but true: the guys in WINGER are still alive, and people are still paying to see them live:

"Down Incognito" Live in Dudley, UK... they're touring behind their new disc Karma, which of course, we used in a FOUNDRY CAMS video.

From rock we move to racks...

when busty blond Shyla Styles from Big Wet Asses isn't doing humanitarian work, she likes to dance around in heels and cover her ass in baby oil:

and if you want to see the full hardcore clip, you can check out BIG WET ASSES - on Demand Now.

Move over large bosoms, we have LARGER bosoms to show you

How the hell does 18 year old Busty Ellen manage to haul around a 34G-sized chest:

Young, Tight, large-chested, and has a huge collection of lucky sex gadgets!

Moving to the high(er) brow, we take a peek at Jenya D (aka Katie Fey) who not only has excellent taste in transparent clothes...

and fortunately for you fellas...she has excellent taste in women as well.

Why do we love sending out enormous old school FoundryMusic T-Shirts to our FOUNDRY CAMS girls? Because we love seeing what girls like Brooke and Sweet Victoria wind up doing with them. In this case, they made a vest and a miniskirt, respectively.
Thanks to our friends in FRAMING HANLEY for "Stupid Girl".

Click on Brooke blond locks, and stare wide-eyed at the screen for a while

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

FOUNDRY CAMS: Brooke and Sweet Victoria - Stupid Girl

Why do we love sending our ENORMOUS old-school FoundryMusic T-shirts to our lovely FOUNDRY CAMS girls? Because it never ceases to amaze us what the girls can make with a black T-shirt that's three sizes too big.
Brooke and Sweet Victoria, who you have seen in numerous other videos, have tailored their shirts into a makeshift vest and miniskirt, respectively. Neither outfit stays on very long, because... well, why would it?
Thanks to our friends in FRAMING HANLEY for "Stupid Girl".
Thanks to Jon for the editing.
...and of course, thanks to Sweet Victoria and Brooke for the eye candy.

Click on Brooke blond locks, and stare wide-eyed at the screen for a while

Then, once you've regained some sense of composure head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Brooke and Sweet Victoria 1-on-1 now!

Bands and labels, if you want YOUR music featued in a FOUNDRY CAMS video, you should send your CDs and press kits to:

FoundryMusic
c/o DFL MEDIA, LLC
PO Box 257
Millington, NJ
07946

Get some FRAMING HANLEY online at Amazon now:

Or get some FRAMING HANLEY at iTunes:

You can see Sweet Victoria and Brooke in these other FOUNDRY CAMS videos:
FOUNDRY CAMS: Sweet Victoria is Your Kind of Healer (w/ LYNCH MOB)
FOUNDRY CAMS: Sweet Victoria and Brooke are your 'Addiction' (w/ DOPE and ZAKK WYLDE)
FOUNDRY CAMS: Sweet Victoria Rocks Out in her STAY COZY shirt (w/ HADES)

FOUNDRY CAMS: Brooke has Looks, Licks, and a nice set of... (w/ Rob Balducci)
FOUNDRY CAMS: Brooke and Vikki Rock Out To HINDER (w/ HINDER)

Posted via web from foundry's posterous

Wednesday Links: This Ain't Happy Days, Large Camper + Puny Alley, Unintentional Rube Goldberg, Jenny McCarthy is Single, Adrianne Curry's Candid Twitter Pics, AVANTASIA & SCORPIONS, Kayden Kross, Victoria Ivanova, Amanda Hanshaw

Oh no they didn't... Wait, yes they did... make an Adult Parody of Happy Days

Yup. and we reviewed it. What's worse is...there's a bunch of these.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(and so is your attitude. What say we adjust it...with a pipe wrench?)

Introducing...the Unintentional Rube Goldberg Water Cooler Disaster...


...it's like dominos, only with a lot of office supplies and a MUCH bigger mess to clean up

A large camper + Tiny Alley + Englishman with a tiny brain = BIG mess.


...well, ok... either he had a puny brain or he was VERY optimistic.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Jenny McCarthy Is Single (WWTDD)

JESUS... Jim Carey said 'good-bye' to THIS? No way. We don't believe it.


Adrianne Curry is Posting Pics of her Ass On Twitter again (Drunken Stepfather)

Let's take a moment and reflect on all the times Adrianne Curry has shown off her naked body, shall we?

DVD Commentary: The Movie (College Humor)

Shira Jones is Just the Blond for the Job. ANY job (Freakshow Planet)

Sexual Rx: The Research (Bullz-Eye)

Shay Laren Is Just Shy of Perfection (Dailyniner)

The Poser's Guide to Music (The Bachelor Guy)

A New York Yankees Hater Guide (FunnyCrave)

Most Valuable Primate: The Robert Vince Untrue Hollywood Story (UPROXX)

Roxanna Milan is Massaging Her Chest Just Perfectly (z0d)

The HEAVY guide to Pixar Rip-Offs (HEAVY)

MMA Is Not Gay (EGO TV)

Real-Life Weekend at Bernie's attempted in England (FilmDrunk)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your lack of personality is equal only to your loss of hair)

Thank you Germany for Kooky mustaches, good beer, bratwurst, SCORPIONS, and power metal band AVANTASIA:

Who, coincidentally, imported Klaus Meine from the SCORPIONS to sing on "Dying for an Angel".

From German bands to Giant racks...

Ukrainian-born, St Louis-raised PLAYBOY Girl Victoria Ivanova can't keep her shirt on:

or her bikini, for that matter.

yay. more boobies

There's something a little 'off' about Kayden Kross and that nurse's outfit:

Those garters aren't regulation! See? We knew something wasn't legit.

Busty brunette PLAYBOY Cyber Girl Amanda Hanshaw is looking all kinds of 80's in this photo shoot:

But her boobs are looking anything but... you know, cuz of all the silicone. Wa-hoo.

Ravishing, Raven-haired, busty pinup girl Violet, who has done several FOUNDRY CAMS videos for us, has a brand new solo site, and to celebrate, she's shaking her fantastic figure to BRET MICHAELS' new song "Lie To Me":


Click on Violet Right Now, and stare slack-jawed at her awesomeness!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tuesday Links: Slowest Game of Russian Chicken, Helloween in Lounge Suits, Naked Snooki Pics, Mike Tyson is Graceful, Release the Kraken!!!

Hey-O and Happy Tuesdee! Throw caution to the wind...along with your morals...



Romance, Shmomance... married neglected people need love too!



THAT's TERRIBLE:

Two Russian Drivers play the slowest game of chicken...EVER:




What a pointless use of two tons of automobile. Yech...

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(but your perpetural whining is really irritating the shit out of us, so how's about removing your larynx with a spork?)





Prepare to get turned on...who wants naked photos of Snooki? (WWTDD)





Mike Tyson is the least graceful fat guy we know (Drunken Stepfather)



10 of the sexiest movie posters of all-time (Bullz-Eye)



GroundHog Day - The Lost Radio Tapes (Gunaxin)



Tyra Lex is all Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome... with big boobs (z0d)



Were We Always Assholes? (Heavy?)



Shanda Michelle makes her undies go bye-bye (Daily Niner)



12 Seagulls Stealing Ice Cream (ForkParty)



Move on ovah... it's Jana Cova! Eh, boooo.. (FreakshowPlanet)



20 Sexy Female Celebs Who Haven't Aged Well (ManOFest)



Remix: LOST writers need your help (College Humor)

I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that have successfully managed to alienate everyone who has ever tried to help you. Well done, fella!)

Metal dudes in black suits? Hells yeah. It's HELLOWEEN. Say what?



Yup. They're not taking themselves too seriously in the video for "Dr. Stein" from Unarmed: Best Of 25th Anniversary which is out now.

Release the Goddamn KRAKEN, bitches! It's the international trailer for the CLASH OF THE TITANS remake:



More Sam Worthington. More Kraken, mawfugger.

...and now we say hi to supersexy PLAYBOY hotness Victoria Ivanova:



Ukrainian-born, St Louis-raised. Takin' a shower. It's all good, fellers.

Speaking of sexy PLAYBOY bitches, check out Tiffany Ryan and her GI-NORMOUS boobies:



Alabammy-born and all bosoms and hiney. How do you NOT bring this gal home to mom?

Finally, here's beautiful Beth Williams:



She's from a small town in Ohio, and it's the small town girls who are the dirtiest girls Yum Yum give us some o' dat.

Our FOUNDRY CAMS girl Shanelle took the oversized FoundryMusic T-Shirts we sent her, chopped them up, and made a breastacular outfit AND video.






Click on Shanelle...and do your thing!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.